My partner says he wants to start a family with me, but I’m not sure he does

[Scarlettm]

My partner and I recently decided we were going to start trying for a baby. We’ve had this conversation many times before but he’s not been quite ready. I’ve been waiting for years and am desperate to start a family while we’re still young. He says he’s not scared of having a baby but more of the financial responsibility of having one. We were supposed to start trying last month but found out I had an ovarian cyst and we should wait. The cyst is now gone and my fertile window for this month is now, yet he keeps making excuses to not BD. I don’t really know how to handle the situation or how to talk to him about it. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I just got my first positive OPK

How old are you both?

Does he turn down sex at other times?

Have you told him it's your fertile window? That's a deeply unsexy approach for many people.

Ultimately, if you're going to have children with him you need to be able to have honest conversations with him - so if you feel like he's avoiding sex with you that's what you will need to say to him.

(Also, please do not say BD. We're all grownups.)

Absolutely do not try and force the issue this month.

If the concern is financial, have you sat down with him and worked out the figures? I have a literal spreadsheet with the amount I’d need to save to have a year’s maternity, costs of nursery vs salary, options for going part time etc. Maybe you could do the same with him?

When you say “while you’re still young” - how young are you? And how long have you been together?

(Am frantically trying to think of what BD could stand for. I know from the context but the specific words are escaping me: Blow Dick? Bed Down? Baby Daddy? Balls Deep?)

@Dyrne it's Baby Dance

Aah thank you! No way I’d have gotten that

No he doesn’t turn down sex at other times.
I’ve have not told him I’m in my window. I know he’s working a lot so I don’t know if he’s feigning tiredness or is actually tired. I’ve have said to him it feels like he’s avoiding it but didn’t really get a clear answer.
We’re engaged but the actual wedding date is still 2 years away. He’s 25 I’m 23.

Been together for 5 years

We have talked about what sort of money we’d need. Yes, maybe a spreadsheet would be a good idea.

It is often gonna happen in TTC that you can't or one of you doesn't want to have sex at peak fertile time. Month one is definitely not the time to push the issue - and you are still both very young. If you've been pushing this for years he may be finding the whole issue something of a turn-off.

Let this month go and see how things go this month. You've no need to be in a rush.

*next month, that is.

I thought I’d update this thread. I’m 11dpo today ( we did end up doing it once This cycle). So I didn’t think there was any chance I would get pregnant this month. He asked me if I knew if I was pregnant or not and I said it was too early yet, but did a test anyway. I got a really faint positive on a frer. Can you see it as well? Or am I just seeing things?

Yep wasn’t seeing things just got a pregnant 1-2 weeks on a clear blue digi