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Conception

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Original poster

Taking a break from TTC?

12 replies

Mooey89 · 06/10/2019 16:43

We’ve been TTC for 11 months.
Every month I cry.
Every pregnancy announcement I cry.
Our sex life has dwindled to a schedule on green days of functional sex for the purpose of conception.
I hate it.
We’ve started to have tests and I do still want to get pregnant but I don’t think I can carry on like this.

I’ve spoken to DH and we’ve decided to take a break for a few months and just have sex when we actually want to. I’m going to delete the apps and chuck out the ovulation sticks.

Has anyone else done this? I’m worried i’ll regret it when it gets to January and I’m still not pregnant!

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 06/10/2019 16:47

We had issues over several years which I'm not comfortable going into, but as fate would have it the time we accepted it might not happen and cooled things off we conceived naturally.

I used to feel like swearing or throwing something at people who'd say online "just relax", but now they may have been onto something.Grin

It's really bloody hard though OP.

Tisfortired · 06/10/2019 16:56

Hi @Mooey89 sorry you're having a hard time, it's so disheartening month after month isn't it.

We were trying for two years, then in the middle of August I got a bfp, have never been so happy. Two weeks later miscarried. I have given up. I'm not going to try to avoid pregnancy but I'm not 'trying' anymore. What will be will be. Luckily o have 6yo DS who I am so grateful for.

Look after yourself Thanks

firstimemamma · 06/10/2019 17:02

There are lots of stories out there of people who stop actively ttc and then get pregnant. Sometimes taking the pressure off a bit helps. Good luck and I'm sorry to hear of your struggle. Thanks

Original poster
Mooey89 · 06/10/2019 17:03

I’m so sorry for your loss @Tisfortired
I also have a 6yo son so very lucky. It doesn’t make it easier though does it.
Take care of yourself.

OP posts:
BoomBoomBoomLetMeHearYouSay · 06/10/2019 17:15

I did this for a couple of months - just couldn’t take it mentally.

PurpleDaisies · 06/10/2019 17:17

Yes, but for it to actually feel like a proper break I’d recommend using contraception. Otherwise you still have the awfulness of the “am I pregnant” every month.

Flowers it’s hard.

SeahorseWilderness · 06/10/2019 17:18

I feel your pain, I also have a 6 year old and we’ve been trying for 16 months with no hint of pregnancy. I feel incredibly lucky to have 1...the constant disappointment of failed cycles takes away some of the living in the moment for us, I really wish I could have the strength to throw away the ovulation indicators and not try, I did do that for three months a while back and felt like they were ‘missed’ months, they weren’t at all as we BDed every two days but I was convinced that if I used the OPKs again we would get a positive result. But it’s made no difference...I’m not sure what to do going forward. I have a friend with three kids, her first took 3 years to conceive, second took 5 years and third 2 years, in all that time she just had sex and let it happen. Incredible! I wish I could be like that... they were both tested so knew there was nothing obviously wrong and they just left it to ‘what will be will be’

pinksquash13 · 06/10/2019 17:25

I haven't been in your position but was close. I'd planned to do what you've suggested. I wouldn't use contraception but I'd really really try and avoid 'am I pregnant' thoughts. I know not easy. Good luck. I really hope it happens for you x

showmethegin · 06/10/2019 18:22

Were currently doing this. TTC for over a year. Have our hospital appointments this month so we're going to see what they say and reassess.

It's really hard so I know how you feel. FWIW I feel a lot better, most likely will start again in 3 months. Also just starting a new job (in the same organisation!) and buying a house so hoping that I'll be busy enough to take my mind off it!!

emilyzbx · 06/10/2019 19:48

Me and dh tried for 3 years, no luck.

The month we stopped trying, we had sex once in the whole month

I now have a 18 month dd! I'm lucky but sometimes it just happens when it's meant to

December2019 · 06/10/2019 20:19

Hi OP I know how hard it is! Me and my DP where TTC for over 7 years, We got tested and we where told we had less than 1% chance of natural conception (not entitled to NHS private funding for IVF) and we just couldn't afford it
Anyway I got up one morning and decided I wasn't doing it anymore I couldn't take it emotionally it was heartbreaking, I felt as though my body was failing me and maybe I just wasn't supposed to have kids... a couple of weeks later I got my BFP and now I've got the most beautiful 9 month old little boy (honestly he's what dreams are made of)
And also the first time me & my DP had sex (mainly to see if my bits still worked properly) I got pregnant straight away and I'm 29 weeks pregnant with no2.... so I know people say try and relax and I wanted to hit those people! But it truly does work, just want to give you a hug and to say there is a light at the end of the tunnel you just have to keep going xxx

Original poster
Mooey89 · 07/10/2019 18:58

Thank you everyone.
I actually feel quite relieved at the thought of taking a break. We’re going to reassess after Christmas.

OP posts:
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