Support needed, losing my mind TTC!

[Copperpan123]

Hi.

I've been trying to conceive my 2nd for 6 months now. I know that isn't long in the grand scheme of things but please humour me as I'm at a loss at what to do next!

My 1st was unplanned and I'd had some undiagnosed thyroid issues which came to light when my periods were absent for a year, leading to fertility referrals. However, amidst this my periods returned and I quickly fell pregnant, before I actually got to see a fertility specialist.

This one IS planned and wow it's such a different experience. I have a medical condition which means I have bowel on my bladder and this leads to repeated false positives. In the 6 months I've been trying, I'd say 80%-90% of the tests I've taken have shown up as at least faint positives, which most people would take as a BFP. These turn out to be negatives when AF shows up, breaking my heart.

To add to this, my cycles are sporadic; I purchased a clearblue advanced fertility monitor and I apparently ovulate early (D10) but this makes my leutal phase around 20-25 days long...what does this even mean? Should i be testing later in my cycle because of this instead of standard 14dpo?).

I literally cannot cope with what can only be described as emotional torture to take pregnancy test after test, see all these positives, to have blood tests, to find out they are negative. I've tried tracking temps and I've now bought this monitor as well. Everyone around my is pregnant, that is genuinely not an exaggeration. As my 1st is now at school, I'm constantly being asked when I'm having another one.

I suppose I'm not looking for advice or answers, just someone to say they understand. I struggle to confide in my best friends as they are all pregnant and I do not want to make them feel uncomfortable. I do not know anyone else with my medical condition either who could perhaps share experiences. My husband is supportive but so laid back he's basically lying down.

I feel this is genuinely affecting my mental health now, do I go to the Dr? Or will I be told I've not been trying enough for any form of support? How can I just calm down about it all?

Help!!

Oh you poor thing this sounds so difficult. TTC is hard enough without the added stress of your condition and false positives. My first thought is maybe to stop doing the home pregnancy tests if you get so many false BFPs, that will really take some of the stress out of it... is your dr willing to give blood tests without too much harassment? I know mine wont unless you are something like 10 days late or you are worried something is wrong but hopefully with your condition they are a bit more helpful? That way you will only have blood test results and no confusing preg tests to get your hopes up?

It is possible your body attempts to ovulate more than once in your cycle so in your case it may be worth testing for a longer period maybe to see if you get 2 peaks? I have heard this is fairly common, especially in long cycles.

I know it doesn't help much, but 6 months isn't long. You know you are able to have children so try your best to relax (I know, hardest thing ever!) and keep yourself busy. I am the worst for stressing but find that if I have lots in my diary, especially in the 2ww I just don't have time to stress or google every little cramp.

If you feel completely overwhelmed by it all, it won't hurt to go to the Dr but I know they are not fans of OPKs etc, they lean more towards the 'have sex EOD throughout the month and you're covered' camp. Thinking about it, that method could be worth a try if you are able, that way you know you are covered for the whole month and so it doesn't really matter when you ovulate? Then there's no stress of monitoring/ temping.

Wishing you all the best and I hope you get your answer soon! Do you know where you are in your current cycle?
x

Smiles14 thank you so much for replying, I can't tell you how many times I've refreshed the forum page, desperately looking for a response! You're totally right to stop the home pregnancy tests, but it's simply down to impatience and also I don't like not being in control. My only day off is a Friday so I always have to have my bloods on a Friday, then wait until the Monday for even a glimpse of a result! I'm not even sure when I should get my bloods takes as my periods are so sporadic! The Drs surgery has been ok, but it does sometimes depend who I talk to. I've been given 2 blood forms for the next few cycles which I suppose helps?

Honestly, I never felt remotely bothered by my medical condition until now, and all of a sudden it's standing in the way of something so important to me. I'm not even sure my fertility monitor is accurate as it relies on testing urine!

Never heard of 2 peaks, does that literally mean you ovulate twice? It's funny you say that as I did an ovulation test a few days ago (waaaay past ovulation) and it was unusually dark? Also, trying not to be too gross, but I have egg white CM even though I'm cycle day 24! I ovulated day 10 this cycle, now day 24. I've had this mad itchyness for a couple of days and my CM has increased and gone slippery but all pregnancy tests are very faint or negative so I'm assuming this cycle is a write off. I could get my bloods done to confirm but I honestly don't think I can take another waiting around for 3 days then a negative, it's killing me

Thank you so much for replying and giving me some practical tips on keeping me occupied. I feel so alone in this so it really means a lot.

@Copperpan123 so sorry to hear about everything. I’m currently TTC our first but no luck yet. What is the condition you have that causes false positives? I get them all the time and then have had negative blood tests at the doctors. Thought there must be something wrong with me for ages to cause this but drs have never really looked into it properly. I would be really interested to know more about that, maybe I have the same?

@banoffeepie91 I was born with a bladder abnormality and had bowel patched onto my bladder when I was younger to make it bigger. It's the bowel that affects my urine and gives me the false positives. Do you get urine infections? Not diabetic or anything else that might influence your urine?

@Copperpan123 ahh I see. Don’t really get urine infections and not diabetic. The only thing I have is IBS which I’m guessing isn’t related. I’ve just moved to a new gp so might see if they’ll have a bit of a better look into things for me. In the mean time I’m just not testing unless AF is late and then if it is i’ll have to get a blood test to properly confirm anything. Thank you for replying and good luck with everything. I’m also the worlds biggest stress head so know how you feel when it comes to that side of things, it’s horrible.