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Please help - TTC is a total mess and I'm at the end of my tether

3 replies

waitingforarainbow · 29/09/2019 22:29

My history: 2MMC followed by one DC. Then a year of secondary infertility (caused by my DH being on testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) which left him with almost zero sperm count). Then when his sperm count was finally back to a normal-ish number, we got pregnant but I miscarried again. I'm now on Clexane, baby aspirin and prednisolone every month in case it helps prevent further miscarriages (although the cause is unknown).

Obviously I've already been through hell with 3 MCs and a year of infertility, but now I've got a further problem to deal with. My DH has struggled with erectile dysfunction for years and this is the main reason he went on TRT, which helped. He's had to come off the TRT to get his sperm count back up, but it means he really struggles to perform. This month I finally got my positive OPK and he's literally refused to DTD since. So I've now completely missed the fertile window for this month. It is so completely devastating and frustrating and I just feel so, so angry. He is particularly stressed with work at the moment and I do empathise but I just don't know what to do.

I just feel like I can't go on this way - getting excited every time I get a positive OPK, but then worrying that he won't want to DTD, or he'll try but fail. I can't handle seeing more chances slip away month by month. Please help - I'm honestly at the end of my tether and feel like I can't take it any more. x

OP posts:
MrsN2121 · 29/09/2019 22:54

Hi OP, so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. It sounds like you and DH need to have a chat and agree what the plan is if you both want to have another child. If he's concerned about being able to perform maybe it's worth him making an appointment with the Dr to see if there's any other medications that will help him but not affect his sperm count. TTC is stressful and if your feeling it I'm sure he is too. Hope you manage to agree a way forward that works for both of you.

waitingforarainbow · 30/09/2019 17:20

Thank you @MrsN2121 - it was so nice to get a reply last night, when I was beside myself. I spoke to my DH last night and we've decided we just need to spend the next month trying to get him sorted out, physically and mentally, so we're ready to hopefully try again next month. It just feels like such a horrible chapter of our lives (trying to get the family we want) but hoping it will work out ok in the end. X

OP posts:
MrsN2121 · 30/09/2019 18:03

@waitingforarainbow that sounds like a good idea, hopefully if he feels supported and prepared for it mentally, that will help the physical hurdles you have to overcome. Wishing you all the best x

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