Am I being a bitch if I don’t go to her baby shower?

[ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia]

My friend is having her baby shower at the weekend. She knows I have been TTC since Jan.. when she got pregnant.
I find myself very jealous (I know that’s bad) and that it will just make me really upset if I go.
Especially as she wasn’t even with her on and off fella at the time of conception.. so was an ‘accident’ and missed one pill.. even though she had said the previous summer she wanted another baby and was teasing her partner saying that they were going to start trying in January... and what do you know, that’s when she got pregnant..
Dunno if I’m just being a massive bitch it I didn’t go.. I am coming out the other side of a kidney infection so I could just blame that...
Thanks ladies x

I know it's hard when you want something so much but you really haven't been trying that long - if you had posted you had had a miscarriage then I would completely empathise but to be this upset/jealous at this stage is a bit hard on your friend

Sorry if that sounds harsh - I've had 5 mc and 2 ruptured ectopics and been trying 3 years now and I am just coming out the other end of the jealous/bitter stage so I get it completely I do but you are at the beginning of your journey and there will be lots of moments like this - when people announce pregnancies and births etc and you will need your friends in the coming months so if she's a good close friend I wouldn't want to lose that x

I think you should go your friend probably sympathises with you that she’s pregnant and you aren’t. Most friends are nice like that. One of my friends had a baby shower at the end of the week that I had a MMC and I didn’t attend only because I wasn’t feeling great and couldn’t handle being around anything baby related at that time

If she is going to remain your friend then you have to go. Even if it's the last thing in the world you want to do.
This baby is going to be born soon, you're most probably going to meet him/her and be part of their life.

Big girl pants on and go and drink wine. Be annoyed in secret but show a brave face.

I hope you get your positive soon ❤️

Yeah I'd say yes you would be. I think you should just go and be happy for your friend. I believe you get what you put out to the world. If you can be happy for your friend it will be your turn before you know it and everyone will be happy for you.

I was envious of my best friend when she conceived her little girl 2 years ago but I never ever let on and made sure she had the best baby shower and I spoilt that little girl rotten because she is my best friend and she would do the same for me. I'm sure she was envious of my on my wedding day but never let on.
Just because it's not your time doesn't mean she deserves for you not to be happy for her, if that's truly how you feel you really shouldn't be friends with her

Yes you should go

Thanks guys.
I knew I was being silly, think I needed you guys to give my head a wobble!
I will go as planned bearing lovely tiny baby gifts :)

Ah well done OP

I think you handled those responses well! I was actually going to say don’t go if you don’t feel like it. If you say you’re not well, it’s not for anyone to question that, and no one knows your struggle. It’s not really for anyone else to say you haven’t been through enough for it to bother you!

@ReeRi thank you ❤️

I would say talk to your friend if she's a true friend she will understand and be supportive

Dont go

Don't go. Whatever the reason, you can choose not to go. If you really feel you need an excuse, you could say you're just getting over a kidney infection...which is true.

Whether you go or not you have to fight hard to let go of negative emotions such as jealousy . If only for your own sake .
Personally I would hate to attend a baby shower as I consider them to be an awful Americanized consumer fest but each to their own .
The only thing for attending this baby shower for your friend is that though it's hard you'll be able to set your feelings aside for a while . Good practice as the world seems full of pregnant Mums and babies when you are aching to have your own . Try to relax about the whole TTC tension and your turn will come soon .