The wait to TTC is breaking me!

[getoutofthatgarden202]

Been married nearly 18 months!he's 40 and i'm 30 - I've been dying to start TTC since right after we got hitched - but the sensible part of my brain kicked in knowing its not a good time - we are saving like crazy to buy our first home (in a tiny 1 bed rental at the mo and can't afford to rent anything bigger really), have only very recently got settled in new jobs etc!!

We are getting there with the house deposit - and reckon by Summer 2020 we will be able to start putting offers on properties - we also have a pretty epic holiday booked April 2020 - we have a history of being complete nomads and have travelled the world together - it's took us quite a while to actually get our act together and settle down a bit so this holiday feels like an important last big one as just the 2 of us (hopefully!!)

So we have decided to start ttc after the holiday(or on the holiday) in April!

I know this is not too much longer to wait - but Omg it is on my mind constantly - literally can't think of anything else, feels like i'm the only one of my friends who is not pregnant right now - I have a fear that there will be something wrong and it will take forever to conceive (if at all) it's all consuming!

Any tips on how I can get it off my mind for a bit or tips on what I can be doing to get myself all set and ready to go in April pre TTC - I have started a folic acid supplement and am trying to be super healthy - cycling to work everyday etc!!

It’s something that you want desperately so it will be on your mind hun, I was advised about diet and weight either way if you smaller or larger. I was underweight and they advised to put weight on. One big thing too don’t pressurise each other it could well have the opposite impact and also effect sex which is what I found

@kellyw1989 thanks !! Ugh yeah it's just one of them things - I wish it was as simple as we just go for it and hope for the best - but we so close to being in a better financial position and know waiting a little longer is the right thing in the long run!!

Thanks for the advice x

@getoutofthatgarden202 I was exactly the same. We are TTC now but we were talking about it way over a year ago and it killed me too.
I read what to expect before your expecting and that did keep me occupied prepping my body.
If your on contraception I'd come off it a lot sooner than you planned originally, taken 4 months for my cycles to "regulate" to 30+ days after 10 years on the Pill.
Good luck and April really isn't far away xx

@MrsSokhi eeep I know it's ridiculous how obsessed with thinking about it I am!! Doesn't help my job involves being around lots of babies everyday 😂!
I actually stopped taking any birth control about 5years about for various reasons (doesn't agree with me, caused anxiety etc) we just been using condoms !

So that's one step I've already done !

Cut way back on alcohol too this last year and been making a real effort to stay fit - quit the commute and make myself cycle in everyday!!

April can't come soon enough to start going for this!!

Good Luck with your journey - how exciting !x

@getoutofthatgarden202 that's great that your not on anything. If you don't already you could start tracking your cycles to see when you ovulate. You can get cheap tests off amazon and keep track so you can up your chances in April.
That will keep you busy :)

@MrsSokhi I've got an app called Flo and it's connected up to my Fitbit and tracking things as we speak 😂!! I do love a project so this is keeping me occupied for now!! Also planning my big holiday helps as I know waiting a bit longer is the right thing to do for us!

It's mad how quickly this feeling came on - last year I would have said oh god no we are not ready for kids yet that's a long time away still - now here I am counting down the days !!

@getoutofthatgarden202 sounds like you got everything covered :)
Haha I know, enjoy the excitement and good luck for April xx

@getoutofthatgarden202 I know how you feel! It's so hard to wait when you know the time isn't quite right, but you finally feel ready. And suddenly all your friends are getting pregnant and it's all over your Facebook etc. It's driving me mad!
We finally had a serious chat about TTC a couple of months ago, and agreed I'll come off the pill at the end of my current pack. Which feels like a big step in itself! But then we're also mid house move and our jobs are a bit crazy right now, so not sure exactly sure when we'll take the plunge... Like you I'd also really love a last big holiday just the two of us, not sure if that's really an option though as most of our funds have gone into this house!
Anyway, you're certainly not alone. I think (at least, I hope) we'll know when the time is right. Either that or we will cave and start asap, haha! The keeping fit sounds like a good plan (I also need to focus on this) as does the cutting down on alcohol. Small steps but hopefully they'll pay off. How do you find Flo? I've also downloaded this but not really used it properly yet as still on pill for a few more days.
Good luck on your journey :)

@Bims2019 eeeep tell me about it - as you say we all waiting for the right time - realistically we will likely never be ready so have to just go for it at some point !! I am glad I have this holiday coming up and making the most of lazy Sunday lie ins, nights out etc!! Just want to get this house sorted ASAP and we then we can move on to the baby stage!!

Husband initially wanted to wait another year or 2 and now he's the one who's even more keen than me to get going with this - mad how it changes so quickly haha!

Loving the flo app - is suggest trying a few apps on free trial and see what one works best for you before starting to pay any sort of subscriptions!

Coming off the pill is the first step I guess - how exciting - feel like I skipped that bit as I've been off it so long haha!!

Hopefully you life will slow down a bit for you guys and you can just start ttc soon :) 🎉

@getoutofthatgarden202 very good point, we should definitely be making the most of lazy weekends! Urgh the house thing is a pain but it's so worth it in the end. We spent a long, long time saving and then finding the right place. So nice to be able to decorate and make it your own when you get there though, so hold on to that thought!! A lot of people seem to say the timing will probably never be exactly right, so fingers crossed it won't be too long for us both :)

It's funny what you say about how quickly you both decide you want to start trying. This time last year it wasn't even something we talked about much, now I'm super keen which I think took my husband by surprise a bit... But he also seems more keen for babies now as well! No idea why it's suddenly such a big deal for me as well, I'm 31 and don't want to feel any pressure in terms of age etc... but it's on my mind a LOT more than it used to be!

It's good that you don't have to worry about coming off the pill. I've been on and off it over the last 10 years, hoping things get back to "normal" quite quickly but don't really know what to expect there. This is another reason why we won't be trying straight away, to let things settle down and use other contraception for a while.

Thanks do much for the suggestion! I'm not paying for Flo at the moment but guessing there's a better version that you pay for?! I've also downloaded fertility friend to give that a try, but not sure if that's free at all... It's a whole new world to me lol

@Bims2019 Yep we been saving like crazy - sick of it at this stage hahah!! But can see the light now!!

I think we would really struggle to continue to save once a baby is in the mix - so am happy knowing we are doing the right thing for our future!!

My Husband is 10 years older than me - so at 40 I think he is getting more keen to get going with ttc as he is starting to worry about being an old dad!!

I think with most of the apps to get the full benefits out of them you would need to pay - but maybe just use basics and then pay for your fave a bit closer to the time of TTC

I have managed to get a years subscription to flo for £16 so happy enough with that!!

@getoutofthatgarden202 sounds like you've done really well to save, we found it hard while we were renting! Will you be staying around where you live now? Just think that it's only a few months, they will go so quickly.

Yeah I've heard babies can be a bit expensive lol. I'm a bit worried about money and childcare already, I'm not on a permanent contract so things are a bit uncertain there. And if I move jobs (which I might because current job is pretty stressful)I probably won't qualify for maternity pay! But figure that things will work out one way or another and getting a bit ahead of myself, so not going to let that put us off :)

Aw, bless him! Does that mean a lot of his friends have kids as well? I think it gets harder when more people you know are starting families.

Thanks for the tips, that's not a bad deal for a year so I'll give some a try and see! Last pill taken today, really excited to start tracking haha.

@Bims2019 I wish we could have moved back in with my parents to save for a bit tbh - I'd have done it in a heartbeat - but we are in the UK and family is in Ireland - so no choice but to save while renting..it's prob taken a bit longer as a result!! But what can you do!!

My Dh is from a group of mates that left things a bit late tbh - they were all single until their mid 30's and the ultimate partiers who said they'd likely never settle down - not interested in marriage/kids etc - then in the last 3 years we've been to 3 of his closest friends weddings - 2 of them have had babies quite quick as their partners are also in their 40s so time was not on their side as it is with us with me being a bit younger!

It's only myself and one other friend of mine that are not pregnant right now!! Everyone's at it haha!!

It will all work out in the end - maybe you should have a practice living off just your other halfs salary for a bit and saving yours?? we are going to attempt that in prep of me being off work for a bit when the time comes!!

So excited for you that you've come off the pill now - step 1!! eeep hahah