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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC, Lonely Path.

23 replies

MrsHufflepuffMS · 14/09/2019 10:28

My husband and I have been trying for 3 months, this is the 4th go.
Now I know alot of you will say, "that's nothing" or "it's early days" but the amount of people I know who have said "it happened first try for me" is painful.
I'm getting really upset and I know, "relax and it'll happen" if one more person says that I'll scream.
As much as I dont wanna hear some things, I still want to talk about it.
I want people to understand what it's like having AF, as soon as that's done go at it like rabbits, when ovulation has occured, noticing every feeling your body has and debating whether or not it's an early sign... then take loads of tests, period be late so you dont give up hope. Period them comes and you still have hope that its implantation bleeding.
Obviously, I know people have been going though this for years and I honestly can't imagine. And I know it's early days...
Just maybe someone could tell me, it took 4 months .. or 6 months.
Then maybe I could get ride of some of that fear that it's going to be like this forever...

OP posts:
Bezalelle · 14/09/2019 10:33

I am in exactly the same position. Fourth cycle TTC, wondering if it will ever happen. So, no advice, but solidarity!

MarieeBarone · 14/09/2019 10:39

I really feel for you. I have a 7 year old and finally got the go ahead from husband to have a second and I have suffered 2 miscarriages in 6 months. Started trying again last month after a break as it was taking a toll on my mentally. I was due on on Monday, nothing. Had sore boobs, increased appetite, so tired... I thought "is this it!?" Got very excited but period came 4 days late. Felt like torture. Why give me that hope. TTC has become upsetting and I'm so fed up too. 4 months or 4 years in, it doesn't matter, your feelings are valid.

DaiJai1066 · 14/09/2019 11:54

I am the same. I had an ectopic pregnancy and that was my first pregnancy 2 months ago. My friends have all just had their first babies and are actually complaining about how hard it is. I just want to scream too, everyone seems to get pregnant so easily and they tell me well at least you know you can! That’s not helpful arghhhh! I wish you lots of luck, I understand your frustration and sadness and despair. ❤️

Original poster
MrsHufflepuffMS · 14/09/2019 16:36

@Bezalelle Thank you, I'm glad it's not just me. Solidarity is what I need.

I just did an ovulation test and I'm ovulating. And just baby danced. So all the stars are aligned!! Come on swimmers !

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Original poster
MrsHufflepuffMS · 14/09/2019 16:38

@MarieeBarone I'm sorry you've gone though that, I couldn't imagine.. I feel like there's no right thing people can say, just know we are here to talk :)
Thank you for saying my feelings are valid. It just seems like no I know understands that monthly struggle.

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Original poster
MrsHufflepuffMS · 14/09/2019 16:42

@DaiJai1066 I know that feeling I really hate people reading about how morning sickness sucks and I'm sure it does. But maybe they should had that they'd do it 100 times over, just to have a little one.
Thanks for understanding, I'm always here if you want to rant.
Or friends who have older kids kinda joke, "don't have kids". I wanna scream, I'd do anything to have kids, it's all I've ever wanted. I love my job, but it's not the dream. The dream has always been to be a Mum.

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fallingasleeprightnow · 14/09/2019 17:45

I'm sorry @MrsHufflepuffMS this is no help but it will happen when the time is right. I understand your frustration as I started ttc in June 2018 and I'm here with no baby or pregnancy to show for it, only a mmc.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 14/09/2019 17:50

I’m starting cycle 10 and I know exactly how you feel. I had an EMC in cycle 1 which would have been due around about now. Sad

Rosieposy89 · 14/09/2019 18:26

You're right. It is such a lonely process, I hate it. We are on cycle 9 TTC our first - in the 2ww now. I really understand the frustration. I really thought it would have happened by now :(

MrssC92 · 14/09/2019 22:24

Exactly the same position cycle 4 and desperate for a baby. Bfns and af arriving are heart breaking. I would love to have morning sickness or all day sickness and sleepless nights? They're the dream! My friends who didn't even tried for a baby but end up pregnant tell me things like oh you'll hate the sickness and thesleepless nights. Whilst yes I know I'll be exhausted I also knowI I'll be so grateful and feel so lucky that our so wanted baby is the reason for those sleepless nights. Also the job - I'm almost 27 and ive been to uni and spent 4 years in my job before ive finally qualified but there's more to life than work.

Original poster
MrsHufflepuffMS · 14/09/2019 22:48

@fallingasleeprightnow this month the hope seems stronger then ever, I feel like we've done the deed at exactly right right time. If it doesn't work I'll really feel like something is wrong...

@BeingATwatItsABingThing I know, every month I think, if it happens she or he will be born in X month...

@Rosieposy89 thanks, I'm glad you ladies understand, I've just started the TTW, and I feel like I'll be testing already in about 8 days. (5 days)

@MrssC92 sounds like we are the same because I'm the same age. The job is always going to be secondary. I don't need to pay my student loan off in a rush lol.

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MrssC92 · 14/09/2019 23:26

Sounds like we'll be great TTC friends! Fx for all of us on this thread this month!

DaiJai1066 · 15/09/2019 08:57

I’m so glad I am not the only one feeling like this! I wish you all lots of luck and I look forward to the updates! 💖

MarieeBarone · 15/09/2019 12:38

Got everything crossed for all of us.

HSunflower · 15/09/2019 14:17

I completely understand your frustrations and heart break!

We have been TTC for 4 months, coming up to 5 months and no luck as of yet. All of our friends have either had babies (fell pregnant without trying) or conceived first time.
I'm extremely happy for them all, I'm just frustrated that we haven't been that lucky.

Sending lots of baby dust 🧡

Waiting1987 · 15/09/2019 15:02

Even if you dtd at exactly the right time there only about a 25% chance of getting pregnant. Obviously there are factors that increase or decrease that chance.

I do get how much it can be all consuming and take over, but 3 cycles is very short. Of course you feelings are valid though.

Original poster
MrsHufflepuffMS · 16/09/2019 00:01

I feel very very positive about this month. Even if it is only 25% ish.... I just got a good feeling. Hopefully the positivity will stay...

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mummytobe2020 · 16/09/2019 02:34

@MrsHufflepuffMS I'm with you! I don't have my baby yet, but I'm 21 weeks pregnant and it took around 9 months to conceive, with one chemical when we had been trying for 4 months.

It's very very very frustrating and it's a very very lonely experience. I did not handle it well. I went into depression and refused to see anyone. I really feel for everyone experiencing this. It doesn't matter how long, it's always a massive frustration.

So there, I hope I made you feel a little better- it didn't just 'fall in my lap' on the first month of trying.

Just remember, it can take a perfectly healthy couple up to 1 year to conceive. That's completely normal. Your body needs to make a good egg- not all eggs are good. You might get 4 good eggs a year, or 1 good egg a year. When you get your period and don't conceive, the egg wasn't strong enough that month. ( or the sperm / egg combo wasn't right ). That's how it works, I had a specialist explain it to me. That's why some people conceive first go- they were just lucky to start trying on a month where they had a good egg. It's just the way it is. Whereas for some people, the good egg doesn't make an appearance until a few months down the line.

It's all chance !

Original poster
MrsHufflepuffMS · 19/09/2019 12:07

Thank you all for you're support.
I really appreciate it.
I had a real struggle last nice, I'm in the two week wait and I'm getting all these symptoms. Mostly cramps and a weird bubble feeling down there? But I'm so confused, cause one might consider these to be signs but am I just making things happen cos I want it so much. Which means my mind and body is.just being so so cruel. It's torture.
How is everyone else's time going ? Those who are trying..

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Original poster
MrsHufflepuffMS · 25/09/2019 08:16

11DPO and BFN
Do you think that means I'm out, I was so sure this month, dreaming about bfp every night :(

OP posts:
HSunflower · 25/09/2019 09:11

Your not out yet, not until AF shows up, don't give up hope just yet ☺️

Unfortunately AF arrived for me last week, but I'm feeling surprisingly "ok" about it, and ready for this month!

Stay positive 💛

HSunflower · 01/10/2019 21:28

How is everyone getting on?
Hoping people have been blessed with some good news this month x

DaiJai1066 · 02/10/2019 12:34

I was not blessed with good news but am definitely feeling more positive. It’s a new month and a new a opportunity 😊

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