What do I do now? Some advice needed please!

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

DH have been TTC since December (not very long, I know). We had a chemical after our first cycle and not a hint of a BFP since.

Can I go to see my doctor yet or will he turn me away? It’s really starting to eat away at my mental health and I want to scream and cry every time I see a pregnant woman or baby. DD keeps asking for a brother or sister and it breaks my heart!

In the interest of not drip feeding anything:

• We are TTC DC2 (DD1 is 5 and wasn’t planned)
• I’m 25 and don’t drink at all or smoke
• I’m using OPKs and getting positives each month
• I have an AVA bracelet but it doesn’t seem to be lining up with my OPKs yet
• I have a history of depression and anxiety and was signed off work but didn’t take medication when offered by my GP as I didn’t want to become reliant on it

When I was ttc our gp said 2years unsuccessful if under 30 for infertility treatment. We were at that point and first step was my husbands sperm testing... I got a bfp the week before his appointment thankfully.
I'm not sure if different areas have different rules though. I'd get in touch with gp as I think tests can be done before the 2yrs, I didnt take everything in the doctor said and I think the 2yrs was for active treatment whereas fertility tests can be earlier

12 months is normal. You had a positive pregnancy test in December so you’re looking at 8 cycles? That’s within the realms of usual. You’re only 25, 1 child and 1 chemical pregnancy so they’ll send you away for at least another 4 months.

I thought you might say that.

Does anyone have any home remedies I can try? Any supplements or anything?

Anyone?

Depends what you want to try and address. Unfortunately, no such thing as 'fertility pills'...

I would recommend the book 'it starts with the egg' which goes through the various studies for different supplements according to what each supplement is meant to do.

This is why I would like to go to my doctor. If something is wrong with one/both of us, I’d like to be able to address it.

I know it can take up to a year to conceive but it’s hard not to think there is something wrong when I watch others getting pregnant as soon as they start.

It took us about 18 months to conceive DS2 (DD was first month). I’m not sure this thread belongs in infertility if I’m honest- it’s not been that long and you did conceive once since you started.

Quite early days. You won’t qualify for NHS investigations, could pay privately for DH to have his sperm tested.

There are loads of sites and books about fertility, eg lifestyle, for men and women, if you and / or DH find that useful. A friend and her H found exercise and healthy diet a good distraction, I didn’t!

I too have MH issues and paid for counselling, including about fertility stuff, was lucky to be able to afford it, there are some useful MH tools/services available on the NHS, eg CBT software.

I won't say not to worry because I know it never helped me.

But to try and ease your mind.

DC1 - Pill fail
DC2 - 1st try
DC 3 - 2 chemicals and 9 cycles.

If you're willing to pay you can look into private clinics.
I was looking into a fertility Health check with DC 3. I gave us one more cycle before we booked in.

TheCatInAHat

As I said in my post, I know I haven’t been trying that long compared to others. I thought I’d post here because people would have advice for me about the processes of going to the doctor. I’m not saying I’m infertile but I am worried something is wrong. I’ve never been in this position before and neither has anybody I know (that I know of). I didn’t know who to ask.

it’s hard not to think there is something wrong when I watch others getting pregnant as soon as they start.

But you DID conceive as soon as you started. You have one child and you had a positive pregnancy test on your first cycle of trying for number 2? You are one of those people! 8 months is nothing. Completely normal. You’re looking for stuff that, in all likelihood, isn’t there.

You’ve conceived naturally twice. The chances of there being a problem are slim, surely?

At your age, taking a year (or more) is entirely normal. Wait until then and see your gp. There is nothing to suggest you’re infertile. Perhaps the conception board might be better?

It's also something like 3 miscarriages before they will do anything.
I was told that as long as you are having a regular cycle no longer than 35 days ur ovulating.
U could go private if u are worried
Have u tired all the usual ways of making sure your ovulating? When u said they didn't add up ? Not everyone ovulates at the same time also since u had a chemical pregnancy then it sounds like you are ok

I know it seems like everyone else just falls pregnant but if you read any threads on here you will see just as many people struggle
I actually read that one of the top reasons healthy people dont conceive is because they are not having enough sex lol sounds rediculous doesn't it but it's worth taking everything into consideration before you write your fertility off

I’ve reported it and asked it to be moved.

The stars are something like 90% of couples will get pregnant after a year and 98% after two years if no fertility issues. I realise this doesn’t ease your anxiety though.

Some things that might help;

• supplements like coq10 improve egg quality and sperm quality but have to be used for over 3 months to make a difference.
• partner wearing loose fitting boxers
• low drinking for both of you
• fresh food produce where possible
• partner take wellman conception tablets
• partner take high dose vitamin c
• you take a conception vitamin
• a well balanced diet for both of you.
• gentle exercise for both of you.
• sperm friendly lubricant like preseed.
• don’t just have sex on day of ovulation you need to have some ready and waiting. Two days before day before day if and day after should cover it.
• can try an ‘at home’ sperm test.
• pay private to have spent tested.
• read and implement strategies in the ‘it’s starts with the egg book’

I get it. It’s awful. We tried naturally for three years until the doctor would start the infertility process. Having just gone through ivf for Male factor infertility i really do understand. However your doctor probably won’t help until you can prove you have been trying for at least over a year.

Good luck

Whatelsecouldibecalled

Thank you! That’s really helpful.

Hi! We started in Oct/Nov TTC no 2, so about 10 months now. Like you I’ve had one chemical in that time.
I went to the Gp last month and they started basic tests - not eligible for IVF anyway as I already have a dc, but they will do blood tests, scans, and sperm testing. I don’t think it can hurt to get to see your GP - it’s usually a year. (You could even consider whether you’ve been trying for a little longer than since Dec 🙈).

In terms of supplements - my friend had a consultation with an IVF nurse who recommended inofolic- I’m also taking Maca which is supposed to be a great fertility supplement - make sure DP isn’t smoking either and is taking a multi vitamin.
Good luck. I know how it gets you down - I keep bursting into tears when someone announces their pregnancy - so I get it! Pm me if you want to chat x

Thank you Mooey89. It’s always good to talk to someone who understands. I’m sorry about your loss.

Both DH and I are taking pregnacare conception supplements for him and her. Neither of us smoke and I don’t drink at all. DH has cut down his alcohol whilst we are TTC. Nothing most of the time.

The reason they generally don't offer tests until at least 12 months is because 4 out of 5 couples will conceive in that time. And even with the rest, half of them will go on to conceive in the following year. Nothing is wrong with 95% of people when it takes two (and often more) years to conceive.

If everyone went within a few months of ttc, that would be a huge amount of resources used. Not only that, but it would signal to people that there's something wrong when in the vast vast vast majority of cases, there isn't. It would just feed a massive amount of anxiety unnecessarily.

By all means, make a few changes and see if they help you to conceive, but don't feed your anxiety when everything points to there not being an issue. Time IS on your side: you're 25, not in your 40s...

I should have said in my post too that in those 18 months of ttc we also had a missed miscarriage that required surgical resolution.

I think what really helped us is that we didn’t give it too much thought. Other than using fertility friend and opks a few days a month we just cracked on with life- moved house, both were promoted at work, enjoyed our DD1 etc.

I could have easily been sucked into the worrying something’s wrong (I have a tendency to worry) and gone to the drs but ultimately the stress would have been unnecessary. If I were you I’d give it another six months at least just enjoying your life and not thinking about it too much and go to the drs after that spell. Time is very much on your side.

In addition to what a few others mentioned, yes, CoQ10 may support fertility in both men and women. And, one other thing to note is that forms that are water and fat-soluble absorb better. Good luck!!