TTC with Vaginismus

[Graceelizabeth123]

Hi guys, I’m looking for anyone that has conceived with vaginismus. I was diagnosed three years ago after me and my husband got married and couldn’t have sex.

I’ve had a lot of therapy and have tried relentlessly with dialators but have been unsuccessful. And now we’d like a baby.

I went on the implant in January and came off in June to start TTC. We haven’t been successful yet, and I know it’s only the third month trying, but I’m struggling as we’re trying in a different ways to normal. My husband can’t go in me very far, so we’re trying more of a splash pregnancy and then trying to penetrate as far as I can handle, which as I said before isn’t far.

Anyway, I just wanted to ask if anyone has been in the same situation and has any advice?

Yes I had one examination early on but it was with a consultant, we talked it all through before with the ageement that she only used one finger and I had gas & air for it. For the later examinations I had already had epidural so was all good. If they do the epidural really early shouldn't be a problem with examinations. I had mine from 1cm. For us ladies birth plans are really important and my consultant prepared a letter for me too and told us to make sure we tell every midwife to read it first.

And something great to remember that I was reminded of by a consultant midwife, it's our body and no one can examine us or do anything without our consent whatever stage labour we are in. We have the right to say no/stop.

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for sharing your journey. I am so glad a found this thread. It has made me feel really hopeful.

I am also suffering from vaginismus and now am 30 years old and about to try to conceive with my DH.

Just wondering has anyone tried insemination kits (syringe and pot). We recently bought a few kits from Mosie.

Vivian

I had this at 20. This was a long time ago. I was admitted to hospital and my vaginal entrance was stretched under general anaesthetic. This totally resolved the problems.

Sometimes it’s just about the muscles being really strong, as it was in my case

Although l could use tampons and have internals before the proceedure

Vivian89 yes I did and it worked! There is a thread called home insemination which you will find encouraging

@Whatnext11 thank you so much! That has given me hope :) can I ask how many cycles it took you to get a BFP?

Of course - after years of therapy and finally giving up, we tried this and it took one cycle. I was blown away! Obviously it can take much longer, just like it could with normal ttc, but I couldn't believe it, I never believed it would really work.
This is the thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility/3680745-Home-insemination-looking-for-buddies?msgid=90645603#90645603

And I'd buy smaller syringes than are standard - 1ml was loads better and easier.

Hi all
First ever Mumsnet post.
Just wanted to share my experience and ask for any advice.
I was horrendously sexually abused as a child, had an extreme phobia of sex growing up (fainted in a class on contraception once at school - that kinda level) and have been struggling with vaginismus my whole adult life. I had vaginal Botox privately at a London clinic which was a COMPLETE game changer and I very much recommend. the pain has mostly gone but psychologically I’m still finding full sex really hard despite 20 years of therapy. I’m getting better but really slowly. I’m 40 and been married for 10 years and have spent the last 7 years with that gut wrenching desire for a child. We’ve just decided to go to a fertility clinic privately and have an IUI. We tried to get treatment on the nhs a couple of years ago but they refused as it wasn’t a physical problem which I was devastated by at the time.
Any advice or just general support most appreciated!

This thread is really useful! I suffered from this the past few years - I've always been quite tight (could never put a tampon in for a long time... first time I had sex it took many attempts, etc). But after surgery to fix a tear I had down there, it became x100 worse. Tbh I'm not sure if it because of the trauma of the painful sex I was having because of the tear, or if the surgery itself was traumatising.
But I couldn't have sex at all after... what helped me the most was going to a physio who specialised in this. She was able to reassure and relax me enough to start stretching my muscles slowly, to the point where I could start to use the dilators myself, and then work my way up. Now when we have sex, I still feel anxiety, and tense up, but after some seconds, my husband can go in and it eases.

I'm not pregnant yet, but ttc at the moment, and one of my worries is the birth. It's reassuring to hear many stories of people here who went on to have fine births. My old gyno also told me that after birth it can help to 'loosen' things up, so it may help sex after. I'm just terrified of tearing!

I just wanted to say thank you so much for this thread. I’m lucky in that my condition doesn’t sound as severe as some but it’s still such a relief to know you’re not alone. Sending love and positive thoughts to everyone xx

And to you SkyeBlue20 😘

Hi everyone 😊 I have just seen this thread and I wanted to add my story incase it helps anyone. I was incorrectly diagnosed with vaginismus at the age of 18, and was seen by a number of GPs and consultants who all agreed with the diagnosis. It never felt right to me at all, and I was insistent that it was a physical not a mental problem. Every time I was told that it can feel like a physical problem, but really the cause is psychological. Turns out the diagnosis was incorrect, and a decade down the line I was correctly diagnosed with vulvodynia. I now take medication daily and have no pain at all - for the first time in my life I am now able to have a 'normal' sex life with my DH and use tampons. The most recent gynaecologist I've spoken to said that this misdiagnosis is very, very common. I'm not suggesting that any of you have been misdiagnosed! I just wanted to share my story in case this helps anyone on this thread. I wish so much that I'd pushed harder to get my correct diagnosis earlier (or that all of the doctors I saw had been a bit more knowledgeable in this area!)

Hi @bluemoon2468 - bit late to the game but hoping maybe you'll still see this message! Can I ask what your symptoms were? And why you thought you might have been misdiagnosed?

I've been suffering with vaginismus for almost a decade - I do feel horrible pain at initial insertion and am definitely spasming, but once I go past the initial ~5mm of insertion, the rest goes pain free. I always did wonder if there's a chance it might have more to do with my vulva than with my muscles - I also know the two (vaginismus and vulvodynia) can be interlinked and exist alongside each other.

What medicine were you prescribed, if you don't mind me asking?