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Baby Fever Overload

13 replies

kylieeee · 27/08/2019 17:12

Hey everyone, I’m sorry for the essay I’m about to fire up, but I need an outlet somewhere and hopefully some advice?!

I’m 24 and lucky enough to be engaged to my best friend, we’ve been together for 6 years and we’re really happy. We live together in an annexe on the side of his parents house at the moment while we save to buy our own home, hopefully early next year. We both work full time and earn fairly good money, we’ve travelled the world together from an African Safari to Jamaica, Mexico, Paris, Dublin, and so many more. We’ve made some amazing memories together during our relationship and we’re very lucky to have done what we have, and work hard for what we have.

From the very beginning of our relationship, dating back to about 18, I have known that my purpose in life is to be a mummy and there’s nobody else I’d want to build a family with than my partner. Its always been in the back of my mind, but over the last couple of years I have gone baby MAD. I honestly think about having a baby day in, day out and nothing else. I don’t help myself because I watch back to back one born, teen mum uk etc haha, guilty pleasures! But it makes me feel like I’m missing out and I generally feel quite sad about it. Don’t quote me when it does happen, but I’m even excited to be in labour myself to feel what it’s like and experience my new born baby being put on my chest for the first time. I just can’t think of anything more fulfilling in life.

Even screaming babies don’t deter me, my sister has just had a baby actually and through one of his meltdowns today she looked at me and joked ‘you sure you want one of these?!’ The truth is, yes! I wanted to comfort him and rock him and I just wish it was me.

I’ve spent weeks hoping by some miracle that I’m pregnant, I’ve been googling symptoms and getting excited even though I know I’m on the pill so it isn’t possible. I’ve had a metallic taste in my mouth for weeks, been bloated, tired, spotting, sore back, stomach cramps, even getting up for wees in the night which I’ve NEVER done before, I always sleep through. I have period pains as we speak and I feel really disappointed about it.

Don’t get me wrong, my other half can’t wait to have a family with me either. I think it doesn’t help that he keeps talking about how he can’t wait to have a baby and even telling his family that he’d be made up if I was pregnant. So what’s the problem? He wants to wait until we have our own place. I completely get it, and I know it’s the logical thing to do. But I feel like I’m getting punched in the gut every time one of my friends announces a pregnancy, I feel annoyed that couples around me who are miserable and argue all the time are having babies, then splitting up. So why can’t I? I know I sound jealous and bitter, I don’t mean to be! I think I just have so many maternal feelings and have nowhere to direct them :( advice anyone? Please!

OP posts:
LazyDogFox · 27/08/2019 20:23

I’m 26 and felt exactly the same! My partner and I have lived in our own home for just over a year now and have waited until now to TTC. Before, I would obsess over the boards on here, watch OBEM and any other baby program I could, I would look at baby names, look on mothercare website (it sounds insane writing this - you wouldn’t know it if you knew me!).
So you are not alone, and it will be really hard to wait, but so worth it!
Lots of luck on the house front 💐

HJWT · 27/08/2019 20:41

When you have the money and know you can get a mortgage start TTC then, it may take a while or you might fall on the first month!

Having a child is the most amazing feeling in the world, but it is exhausting my 3 year old DD is crying as I type because she doesn't want to go to bed 🥴 We moved when DD was 5 months and it was HARD work! Wouldn't be as bad if you were pregnant because even though you can't lift much you can organise etc!

My advise would be wait till the end of the year see were you are at with savings and mortgage etc then start TTC! You don't want to be stuck at your PIL with a baby! That would be overwhelming.

kylieeee · 27/08/2019 21:42

@LazyDogFox you don't sound insane at all haha, you sound like my twin! Thank you so much for making me feel like I'm not over the top haha! I already have names picked out too, already know how I would tell my mum and announce to everyone etc! This imaginary baby takes up a lot of my time so I may as well just have one lol! Thank you for the luck, congratulations to you on everything you've achieved with your house and family xx

@HJWT fingers crossed we'll have our deposit money by the end of this year which I know isn't long to wait at all, but I think because I've waited so long already, another day waiting is like a century to me now lol! Thank you so much for the advice xxx

OP posts:
Nuttypea · 27/08/2019 21:59

@LazyDogFox I am so glad to see this. I feel like an absolute nut job. I do t jsut look at the mothercare website. I 'add to the basket' as if I'm going to buy the shitting stuff. What a loon! Been doing it for years tbf. Also seen how many boots points I would get if I bought fro. There instead.. 😂😂

Endogal · 27/08/2019 22:52

So glad I'm not the only one like this!!! My baby fever came on suddenly and realistically I know we need to wait two years for various reasons but I have babies on the brain constantly and do the same things all you guys are saying... my dream nursery is already decorated in my head Blush

kylieeee · 28/08/2019 09:27

@Nuttypea @Endogal girls, I spend more time on netmums than I do on any other app, and I don't even have kids😂🤦🏽‍♀️ I keep having dreams I have a baby because it's on my mind so much lol. Nursery ideas, names, gender reveals, god I've got it all planned to the last detail lol. Almost get tempted to buy cute baby grows I pass in the shop and keep them in the wardrobe for future babies, but I think my other half would need a change of pants lol. Hmm

OP posts:
LazyDogFox · 29/08/2019 22:23

Oh girls this has made me feel so much better!! I’ve had a list of baby names on my notes app on my phone for about three years and I too have mentally decorated the nursery! In a way I enjoy the fantasies as they keep me going but occasionally I feel like it’s never going to happen and I’m daft for assuming it will! Funny what hormones can do isn’t it...

tequilasunrises · 30/08/2019 18:24

And me and me! Oh god I always thought I was a weirdo with my mothercare basket and list of names on my notes app. I’m too ashamed to even tell DH, it’s my guilty pleasure.

I’m 26 but have been brooding away since 24 and we’ve only just started ttc so it’s been a looong few years. I would definitely wait until you had moved into your own place though - but only for practical reasons like the fact that if you are on maternity leave it might affect how much mortgage banks will lend you and getting yourselves settled. Then as soon as you get the keys I would be ceremoniously burning that pill packet!

BabyWant · 31/08/2019 10:06

How relatable this is😂 I'm currently ttc but I've had names picked out for couple of years now, go to the baby section while I'm out shopping but never purchase any because I'd look crazy🙄 just can't wait to get the bfp so I can have my baby I won't even be telling anyone the name until they're born incase my friends and family who are having babies all before me take it.. am i crazy 😂 I've been having baby fever for so long I don't know how I would even react being pregnant again as I lost very early a couple of years ago. Oh the excitement of making it out of the first trimester I can't wait for 🤯🤯 as I never got that far before. The waiting game is the hardest and the constant negatives 😖

glittertissues · 31/08/2019 10:16

Just replying to confess that I watch YouTube videos of women showing what they’ve got packed in their labour bag, videos of ‘a day in the life of our newborn’ and all sorts of other crap Blush
I was in the library yesterday leafing through a book about pregnancy! Blush (it was on the ‘express’ stand, I hadn’t sought it out intentionally Hmm)

I’m 33 and have an older DC who I had when I was v.young, been with my current partner for nearly two years and we can’t wait to TTC but we don’t even live together yet, at least you he your age on your side LazyDogFox Wink

I may have to pinch the adding the basket idea Blush

ilikethisusernamethemost · 31/08/2019 10:41

I was the same. I can completely relate to what you're going through. That longing feeling every time I saw a baby and then I felt empty. When I suggested to my DP that we start TTC I couldn't believe it when he agreed! I hope that when you decide to try it won't take you as long as it did for us. Please be careful and stay mindful when you do TTC, if it doesn't happen quickly. I'm ashamed to say that I let myself turn into a horrible, bitter person to a point that I couldn't stand to see a pregnant belly or even be in the same room as a pregnant woman.

HSunflower · 02/09/2019 11:09

This thread has definitely made me feel somewhat "normal".. although I'm pretty sure there is no such thing.
I've longed for a baby for what feels like a lifetime, and we started TTC in June this year (no luck as of yet)..

I spend my evenings planning the nursery, the babies wardrobe, pregnancy announcements etc etc and feel a little crazy, but it helps me suppress the "emptiness" when AF arrives!

Sending you all baby dust 🧡

Lucylou22039 · 02/09/2019 11:32

Omg love this thread. I feel the same and add things to baskets, look at Parma and think of the days when I will be able to buy these things for real. I'm 28 and on cycle 2 so still early days. I'm so happy knowing I'm not the only one on here that's does all these things xxxx

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