High BMI?

[MrsMc2019]

Hi, I hope it's ok to start this thread, but I'm hoping for some positive stories as I'm feeling really pessimistic just now.

I'm 39 with a 40+ BMI and lost my first pregnancy earlier this year (not weight or age related). My GP has advised me everything is fine and just to try and lower my stress levels.

Does anyone else in my shoes (age & weight) have any positive stories that I can try and build my hope back up with?

May not be helpful at all but I also have a high BMI and TTC. Otherwise my health is fine, I’m also a bit younger at 26. Here for support if you want :)

I’m in a similar situation, 36, high BMI and had an early miscarriage at the end of last year (not age or weight related). Really gave me a boost that you have been advised to lower stress as whilst I am trying to lose weight I don’t feel age wise I can wait another year to ttc. This is our first month ttc since our miscarriage as it has taken this long for me to feel ready.

Good luck and I am going to focus on lowering my stress!

Hi,

Wanted to add my positive story. My 1st was conceived when I had a bmi of nearly 40 when I was in my early 30s. We'd not used protection for about 6 months (but also didn't dtd much in that time).

At the time I was super stressed due to wedding planning/illness in the family but for some reason it just happened for us then.. the trigger I needed to manage that stress and take time for myself.

Sending positive vibes your way and please don't lose hope xx

Thank you @LazyDogFox @Ivy83 and @sofiathe2nd, I just felt like I was out there on my own. I’m starting reiki on Monday and I’m so hoping it makes the difference, I get married next month so I’m admitting to myself I need a bit of help getting my stress levels down. xx

Definitely not alone! Weddings can be a seriously stressful time so do what you can to look after yourself. We are in this together

I’m not married but can imagine the stress! I’m
Hoping to lose weight while TTC, going to start swimming so hoping that is relaxing and also burns calories.
I feel like if I tell people I’m TTC they’re like “oh... at your size?” So it’s nice to have people to chat to!

Hi, yes, I am 39 now, had my son last year in January, so was 38 then. Always been big, not sure of my exact BMI, but probably not far off from yours. Weight was brought up quite a bit, but I had a healthy pregnancy, and worked throughout, so was busy and active. Only thing I suffered badly with was acid indigestion, and was up for quite a long period of time, in the early hours night after night. I did have a c section, and had to use the blood thinning injections prior to birth and just after, but I think sometimes being bigger and sturdy 🤔🤣 it gets you through it. I had my son at almost 10pm on a Wednesday evening, and was up out of bed the next day. Despite really needing the rest really.

Thank you @Ivy83, it’s not been an easy time but now I’m so glad I started this thread.

@LazyDogFox swimming is a fantastic exercise, I was doing Aquafit every week until some vandals broke in and smashed the pool viewing glass at my local pool. Don’t let your head go to what other people might think, when I had my loss they commented on how healthy I was and I was shocked and mention my weight and size and they told me not to worry about that. I’ve discovered that being bigger doesn’t necessarily mean you’re unhealthy.

@RedRuby25 I had terrible acid reflux when I was pregnant, I think it added to the horrible morning sickness I had. My midwife at the time said she thought it was due to my IBS but when I had my loss I was told that my body was doing everything it should have done.

I’m struggling with grief just now as I’m so close to what was my due date and I think that’s adding to the stress. I had to come home from work yesterday as I felt suffocated with the grief and I’m worrying about how I’m going to explain that to them - really hope this reiki works as I’m ridiculously stressed just now.

So sorry for your loss OP.

My BMI is nearly 40 and we have just started TTC for DC 2. DD is 2 and my BMI was 30 when I got pregnant. (Didn’t put on too much weight in pregnancy, but have just had a nice 2 years of coffee and cake!)

My mum keeps warning me about getting pregnant at this size (she is also very overweight) . I’m starting to try and lose some weight, but I’m 34, and don’t want to wait too much longer or have too much of an age gap. With DD I fell pregnant in the first month, but who knows now.

You look fantastic OP!!!!

@MrsMc2019 I have been floored by our loss and know what you mean, I am close to what would have been my due date too and am so aware of it. If people at work know about your loss I’d be tempted to tell them, or someone who can tell others that this is the reason you are struggling. I keep seeing the due date as the point that I’ll feel back to myself but I just don’t think it works like that. It’s hard and there is nothing anyone can do to make it better but remember it’s ok to feel down. The reiki will hopefully be really positive and between now and then do anything you can to be as calm as you can.

Just seen the dress! @MrsMc2019 It is really beautiful and you look so happy in it! Enjoy getting to try your dress on again

@SipperSkipper I was a bit bigger than I am now when I fell pregnant and my loss was nothing to do with my weight, it’s me that’s putting the hang ups about my weight in my head. I had some complications from my loss (still nothing to do with my weight just a wee hiccup with the surgery) and I was told by everyone that treated me to start trying again straight away, every time I brought up my weight they said that yes they were aware it’d help me personally to loose weight (I guess in a hospital they have to encourage a healthy weight) but they did not view my weight (or age) as an obstacle in getting pregnant. I was shocked (and I guess I still am) that in their opinion I am healthy despite being bigger.

@Ivy83 Everyone in my office knows about my loss as when I fell pregnant I was clearly showing at five weeks (my midwife said this was down to having IBS) and had to keep running to the loo with morning sickness. After the loss I was off for five weeks because I had to wait for the surgery then I was ill with the complications. They’ve all been absolutely fantastic and a great support, so I’m probably just being harder on myself that I should be. I’m absolutely terrified of how I’ll be when I finally reach my due date. I’m not sure I’ll ever be “me” again, a different version but not the same as before. I’m finding it quite frustrating as I’m getting the impression that some people think all I need to do is fall pregnant again (which would be wonderful!) but I don’t think they understand it doesn’t stop the pain.

@SipperSkipper & @Ivy83, Thank you, I’m absolutely in love with my dress, it was the first and only one I tried on, I just knew it was my dress the minute I tried it on and my Mum and Sister completely agreed too.

@MrsMc2019 I think if they know and have been supportive then it may be worth mentioning how you feeling because they will no doubt be supportive as they were before. They probably won’t be aware of your due date but I think anyone, even if they have no experience of this type of loss, would understand it’s going to be a difficult time. Could you take the day off or do you think you’d be better being at work? You need to do what you think will be best for you. I won’t be at work (work in a school) so am going to try and think about how to spend the day, whether it’s out and distracted or home with a good book and a box set. I absolutely get what you mean about being a different version of you. I felt so lost for so long and whilst yes, I want to try again, I don’t think being pregnant will erase what happened.

Your dress is gorgeous and I found my dress because it was the only one in the shop I could fit in! Plus size Wedding dress shopping is a whole other thread!!

@Ivy83 thank you, like you I’m not going to be at work as it’s really close to our wedding (I planned the wedding like that on purpose so we have some happiness at that time) on our actual due date we’re going out to get a suit for my fiancé because we’re having two parts to our wedding - one in Gretna and one at home and he doesn’t want to wear a kilt at home. I love your idea of a good book or a box set as it’s so easy to get lost in those and shut the world out.

I got my dress from Wed2Be, they had a good selection in my size and bigger but that one was just perfect for me. I love the fifties style even my bridesmaids are in grey Lindy Bop dresses with pink sashes and petticoats and we’ve all got pink t-bar shoes.

Oh that will be a nice way to spend the day, I do find distraction really helpful but it can be exhausting to not be able to just be.

I had a mixed bag of experiences, one place had a room of bigger dresses and it was nice to try on loads of different styles but I knew I had found my dress. Love the style and length of yours and the shoes sound perfect!

@MrsMc2019 Oh you had it too then. It is horrible. That is one reassuring thing then, if they said your body was doing all it should have been.
I can't imagine your grief, as I have never, thank god, been through a loss like you have, it must be awful, and I can only imagine the stress that you feel also, at a time like this. I think you have done well to come through some of it, and I'm sure as more time passes it will get better for you. It is good you have decided to take up Reiki I have heard of it, but don't know what it entails. Hopefully it will help.

When you mentioned about having to leave work, and then said about not knowing how to explain it to them, I assume you are still talking about your work place. Do they not know that you lost your baby? Have you spoken to anyone about what is going on, a manager or who is in position to speak to about something like this, so that they understand, they would have to be compassionate as this is not just a little thing you are going through.

@MrsMc2019 sorry for your loss, but it’s good you have the wedding to focus on! Your dress looks fantastic by the way.

Hi, with my dd my bmi was +35 but less than 40, was still treated as a "risk". Only problem I ever had was reduced movements, but they said that was probably down to an anterior placenta than anything else. I was monitored with a couple of extra scans at 32 and 36 weeks, and had a diabetes test around 25 weeks. My girl was 39 weeks gestation induced due to the movements, shes now nearly two! So although I had some problems it wasn't weight related. Hope this helps xx

@Redruby25 I think my fear of having to explain it to them is because of some of the comments I’ve faced - the good old at least you know you can get pregnant to people comparing the loss of my baby to how they felt when a relative died to comments on when they think we should be trying again - so to stop having to hear the comments I’ve just been stuffing everything down when I’m in work so they probably had no idea how much I still struggle. I spoke to my GP and explained how I still struggle with the grief and was reassured that it is normal, she said that if I didn’t grieve or bombard her with my questions she would be worried about me.

Thank you @lazydogfox, I think it’s really helped having something to distract me and after both parts of the wedding we’re thinking of getting a puppy so just to keep us going.

It’s been a busy week so far between tying up all the loose ends for the wedding and being at work full time and add on to that the beginning of my fertile week so I’ve also had to remember to be temping and doing my OPKs. If we don’t fall pregnant this cycle my next ovulation day has been predicted to by my wedding day on my app.

I loved trying my dress on on again, there’s a couple of issues with the diamanté belt that was added but nothing major - I can’t believe how close the wedding is getting. I really thought I’d feel huge when I put the dress on yesterday but I actually felt really nice and feminine.

I’m currently still lying in bed with the dogs (we’re dog sitting for my parents for the next week) thinking about actually getting out of bed to start the mountain of ironing we have!

Thank you @sao81, the positive stories really do give me hope xx

Hey just wanted to say I had DD when I was 36 and my BMI was 40 when I got pregnant. Had an uncomplicated pregnancy.

Took 7 months to get pregnant, currently just started trying for no 2, I'm now 38 (and still very overweight) but fingers crossed.

Congratulations on your wedding x

Thank you @SazCat your story is adding to my hope and helping me to get a bit more positive.

And thank you for the congratulations - it’s one calendar month tomorrow and it’s flying by so fast!!

Hi everyone, thought I’d dip in if that’s ok. I’m sorry to hear some of you have suffered miscarriages, that’s such a hard thing to go through.
@MrsMc2019 your wedding dress is absolutely gorgeous!! I bet you can’t wait to wear it down the aisle.

I also worry about being overweight whilst TTC. My BMI would be 40+ but like some of you I am nearly 35 and feel I can’t keep waiting to have a baby until I am slimmer. I have always enjoyed walking but I’ve started going out every night and hope to squeeze in a swim a week too. I figured these are things I can continue once I am pregnant (positive vibes for a BFP). Like you say though, you can be bigger but still leading a healthier lifestyle.
Sending out positive vibes to you all wherever you are in your cycle.