Problems with my family and babys dad

[Gillseybear]

Feeling really let down and disappointed in my family and Baby's dad today. I just feel really let down by all of them and wish that they could understand where i am coming from.
After my midwife appointment yesterday afternoon, I decided that i needed to bite the bullet and tell my aunt about being pregnant. i knew that she would not take it well due to her own circumstances but she reacted totally differently to what i expected. I was told that because i am at university, i will not be entitled to any of the maternity benefits and grants. Also because i am trying to sort out PIP, i will not get help from them by being pregnant and social services will be involved and try and take the baby of off me. Then to top it off i now have to move back home. According to my aunt, i will not be able to cope on my own and i need to be closer to family so that they can help. I am really settled in my uni city and i do not practicality have to want to relocate and give up uni. Just feeling hurt as apparently she believes this stuff without even giving me a chance to try and work things out on my own.
Then to top it off, i finally had a conversation with baby's dad and was basically told that he would not be able to help me. I know his current situation is not easy and things are complicated. His line of thought is that it would be easier if i had an abortion. I explained to him why i would not be able to to do this and he was not pushy, just said that it would be easier if i had one. The worst thing was that he even joked that i should go and drink a load of Alcohol as that will solve all of our problems.
I just feel really hurt and confused as i was not expecting them to be happy and dance but they have just made things more difficult for me. Sorry for the long post but i just needed to get things of off my check. Any advice would be much appreciated.

If you believe you can do this then I'm sure you'll do your best. Try to get support from elsewhere as your family dont seem to be very supportive.

I gave birth in the upper 6th and started university 2 months later. We had our own place and commuted each day, but to different universities.
My mum and aunt looked after Ds during the first year and he went into nursery the second year.
I won’t lie, it was hard!! We did regret nursery because although we had financial help, we still had a lot to pay, so had to work part time too. But we had plenty of offers to look after ds on the weekends, so we could work, get uni work done, and have the occasional night out! Everyone wanted to look after him.
It paid off, we both graduated. But if I had my time again I would have deferred.

Thank you so much. I am not due until April and so am going to do this year and then go from there. I have the option to ibterupt my studies and so will probably do that. Its just feeling like I have nobody to support me

Are you in a relationship with the father? Why is his situation complicated?

Why does it matter so much what your aunt thinks? Why did you “have” to tell her, you’re not very along?

If you want to have the baby and know you’ll find a way to manage it then it’s time to start making plans and standing on your own two feet. Have a proper look into the benefits you’ll be entitled to, make sure your accommodation is as secure as possible and if you want to stay in your uni town then do. When the baby’s here you can claim child support from the dad if you’re not together. He doesn’t have to help with any costs now if he doesn’t want to which sucks but he will have to pay towards the baby after its born.

No not in a relationship with him. I have known him for nearly a year now and when we first met he was in a relationship. So we were just friends. However, when we did it, he told me that they were no longer together. Since found out that wad not true and he is still with her.
I have no contact with my parents and she is like a mother to me. Plus I had to put her down as my emergency contact on all the paperwork yesterday. So I needed to tell her incase there was an emergency

I did make him aware of that last night and he was rather annoyed at me for mentioning it

Oh dear. Does his girlfriend know about you and that you’re pregnant with his baby?

Either way he needs to pay child support in due course.

Were you loving with your aunt before you went to uni? Would you consider moving back? She doesn’t sound very supportive at the moment but she’s only just found out, you’re young, at uni so not working and going to be a single mum and it’s early days yet so hopefully she’ll come round.

Can your uni help you look into the benefits you’ll qualify for? The student centre should be able to assist.

I don’t know who has told you you won’t be able to get any financial support! I’m a single mother to two toddlers and just finished my PGCE year. I was entitled to all the usual student finance plus a childcare grant, child tax credit and housing benefit! I was better off in that year than I’ve ever been in my life. I think you need to speak to someone who knows what they’re talking about.

Thank you very much. I am waiting for my mentor to come back from her holiday and then she is going to help me work out uni stuff ect.
Mw and my aunt get on just when it come to children it is not a good mix. I know she has her own issues but she takes it out on everybody else especially when children are involved.
My cousin messaged me ad said I do not need to listen to what my aunt says as it is my decision. I am just feeling really lost as the one person I would normally turn to is no help.
Plus today I have really bad nausea and so that is not helping