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Original poster

Is it normal for pregnancy announcements to flatten you?

31 replies

tequilasunrises · 11/08/2019 14:35

Just that really.

Went out for dinner last night with some friends and they announced they are expecting DC2. Their DC1 has just turned 1 and I remember feeling so envious the first time around but this news just floored me.

I felt a lump rise up in my throat and I couldn’t enjoy the rest of the evening, although I was obviously outwardly happy for them!

We’ve not been trying long due to circumstances holding it off but I’ve been desperately broody for about two years, probably more.

Anyone else feel the same or am I just a shithead?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 11/08/2019 14:38

Totally normal. No one talks about it in real life. Don’t feel guilty, what you’re feeling is valid. Flowers

Original poster
tequilasunrises · 11/08/2019 14:55

Thank you Flowers

I know it’s ridiculous but I feel almost embarrassed that I was daydreaming about me being pregnant hours before when actually it’s them going through it. Stupid because they don’t know I was doing it but still! Argh. Just feel so weird now.

Don’t want to tell DH as he thinks I’m ‘chilled’ about it all..

OP posts:
Bezalelle · 11/08/2019 14:57

Normal!

I've never unfollowed so many people on social media since I started TTC (which isn't even that long ago, in the grand scheme of things).

The merest whiff of an announcement and I'm on that "unfriend" button. It makes me feel like I'm going a bit mad. Maybe I am!

fruitofthenight · 11/08/2019 14:58

Totally normal. I've experienced it a lot but it makes me feel so

fruitofthenight · 11/08/2019 15:01

Sorry posted before finishing!
It makes me feel so guilty for feeling that way. I dread baby announcements in person for this reason

juneybean · 11/08/2019 15:03

Absolutely normal, I call it a baby bomb because it just causes devastation. Face to face ones are the worst though!

Original poster
tequilasunrises · 11/08/2019 15:08

I’m scared to unfollow on social media in case they notice and confront me about it @Bezalelle Blush

I’m really not looking forward to seeing all the bump photos/scans etc though.

I feel totally guilty because I know deep down I’m happy for them. I just thought it would be us announcing the next pregnancy.

I genuinely thought I wouldn’t become bitter or obsessed yet here i am!

OP posts:
hairyturkey · 11/08/2019 15:09

Oh gosh I totally had this. It's really upsetting. I can only imagine what it must be like for those who have been trying for years, or who are unable to have babies.

PerfectPear · 11/08/2019 16:11

I believe you can hide people on Facebook so you don't see their posts but they are still a friend. Maybe look into that as they won't know then

poptypingchef · 11/08/2019 20:04

Yes 😞

I spent yesterday at a family kids party where there were loads of kids. I had 15 separate people tell me it’s about time we ‘got on with it’ and news of 2 impending births.

My BBT plummeted this morning after what was looking very promising - it’s not been a good day 😞

You can still be upset and happy for them but it’s super hard some days

KLNM89 · 11/08/2019 21:25

I felt envious today that Joe Wicks, The Body Coach announced they were having another baby 😂

lornz · 11/08/2019 21:32

1000% me!

My BIL and wife announced they were expecting just after our last unsuccessful cycle last year - I felt like my insides were being ripped out. They're due their baby next month. I avoid talking abut it or anything to do with baby (not necessarily the best coping mechanism mind 🤷‍♀️🙈)

We're currently back on TTC now so fingers crossed we'll be to busy to pay them much thought.

fallingasleeprightnow · 12/08/2019 12:06

100% normal. I have hidden many posts from those who have announced, particularly since my mc. I can’t even watch anything (even old videos!) with Stacey Solomon on as she gave birth just after my mc.

SunnySunshine1990 · 12/08/2019 12:56

Totally normal!! No one knows we are TTC and have experienced a miscarriage along the way, as we wanted to keep our first pregnancy a surprise!
So people aren't tactful when telling us about their pregnancy news - which they shouldn't have to be but still grrr!! X

Nabana · 12/08/2019 13:17

I was floored when my sister told me about her first pregnancy. It was Christmas time and I had not long been diagnosed with a fertility-reducing condition (after years of never falling pregnant ever). It hurt so so much and I've never had to use so much strength to smile and put on a happy front because I didn't want to hurt her or ruin it for her. (I have my miracle baby now, fell pg at 29, it can happen no matter how impossible it seems :) )

theydontknowweknow · 12/08/2019 13:25

Recognise this feeling, in Jan my colleague announced hers and then in Feb my SIL announced at a family meal to us (everyone else already knew). We were in month 10 of TTC and I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

We got our BFP in the 11th month

FucksBizz · 12/08/2019 19:02

I’ve been TTC for 13 unbearably long with a MC in 12 months ago. I’ve wanted to kill everyone who seems to have what I don’t, so totally normal I’d say Grin
Doesn’t make it any easier though does it

FucksBizz · 12/08/2019 19:02

Missed out the word ‘months’ there

nicannie · 12/08/2019 19:05

I felt the same. I did the 'mute' on certain friends who would do more than one daily post about their pregnancy and baby once they were here. I didn't want them to pick up I I friended them as it would be awkward like you say. I felt really bad for doing it but it was to save me feeling bitter! I'm glad I'm not alone. On fb and Instagram there is ways you can hide a specific persons posts and things from your feed

nicannie · 12/08/2019 19:06

Pick up I unfriended them* that should say!

neverornow · 12/08/2019 20:11

Totally understandable Thanksdon't be hard on yourself

I've never been as upset as I was to hear a friend's pregnancy announcement while TTC. It was weeks after my miscarriage. I was distraught. Really irrationally angry with her for how she announced it too. But yet happy for her at the same time? Talk about a roller coaster of emotions. The stress of it all really plays havoc on your emotions.

I hope you get to make your own announcement soon Thanks

BishopofBathandWells · 12/08/2019 20:26

Yep, muted on social media. I had three miscarriages on the bounce but the first one was by far the worst emotionally speaking.

A few months afterwards my DSis announced she was pregnant. It was a complete accident, and she was really upset about it having already had two children and thinking she was done.

Oddly enough, I think for me the fact it was obviously a bit of a struggle for her to deal with made it easier for me (I realise I sound like a prick saying that, but that's how I felt).

Be kind to yourself, OP. You can unfollow people on Facebook without unfriending them, and then you can decide when you see their posts.

HCaroline · 13/08/2019 22:43

We have been TTC #1 since June and had no luck to date..

Since starting TTC we have had 2 friends announce pregnancies, and although I am extremely happy for them, I find myself having to hold back the tears, wishing it was me who was announcing my pregnancy.

I have wanted to start our own family ever since I can remember, and I never knew how hard it would be.

Wishing you all the best of luck with your TTC journeys, hoping that one day soon we will be announcing the pregnancies 🧡

Bedforaweek · 13/08/2019 22:54

@HCaroline not sure if this is helpful but 3 months is a short time in terms of trying. In my NCT group there were 12 babies. All came on the 4th or later months of trying!

HCaroline · 14/08/2019 06:33

Thank you 😊
I'm aware 3 months isn't long and it can take years to conceive your first. I am trying not to obsess over TTC but that's a lot harder than it sounds!
Everything will hopefully work itself out x