Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Really confused after finding out i am pregnant

16 replies

Gillseybear · 10/08/2019 14:46

Hello All,

Sorry if this message is long but i just need some advice. So after talking to my doctors they believe i am pregnant and want to refer me to a midwife. This news has left me shocked and confused as it has come out of the blue and have been on the mini pill for several months. I just am not sure what to do for the best really. I am due to restart university in September doing a degree that i love. Plus i am already settled in student accommodation. Also not in a committed relationship but i believe that i know who the father will be
However, I have endometriosis and so it makes me worried as i know that as i get older the chances are i will never be able to have kids of my own. Also i am pro choice but to have a termination is not something i would ever be able to do. I just cannot bring myself to do it. I fell pregnant back in November 2017 and that ended with a miscarriage which devastated me and caused the end of my relationship.

So it has just really left me confused and all over the place. Any advice would be much appreciated right now.
from
Gillseybear

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 10/08/2019 15:01

Have you had a positive test?

xJune88 · 10/08/2019 15:09

Hope you are ok but first things first do a pregnancy test a clear blue if you can to get a rough idea how far you are, if you are get a scan organised which they'll do for you if you ring epu/midwife at your doctors and say you have no idea how far you are or pay for a private one then theres no wait and go from there x

cranstonmanor · 10/08/2019 15:16

First find out if you are pregnant, and how far you are along. You don't have to make a choice today.

In the future you might want to review your contraceptive choices, it sounds like this one isn't working out for you.

Original poster
Gillseybear · 10/08/2019 15:17

Thank you for your replies. I had a very faint positive test which the doctors picked up on. Plus i have spent the last couple of days continually throwing up and i have boobs that are killing me.

Am going back to the doctors on Monday to just finalise a few things and sort out my first Midwife appointment.
I think it is just the emotions of it all. I dunno what to do with the beast as i honestly feel like i have nobody to talk to about it. Not got a very supportive family and i do now want to bring it up with them just yet.

I just feel so stupid as i did not think this pill would fail. i know it can happen but i did not expect it to happen to me. That and having to tell the guy that i slept with. I have a felling that he will want me to get rid of it and then will never speak to me again when i say i am not sure i can. Sorry just really all over the place.

OP posts:
May2311 · 10/08/2019 15:18

Hi G @Gillseybear

This must have come as quite a shock for you! I think you have already answered your question.... whilst it might not be ideal timing, you do seem sure by what you have written that you couldn’t have a termination. First thing I would suggest is speak to your family or friends as you are going to need support going forward. Not sure on your circumstances on if you are close to family/friends so another suggestion I would recommend is speak to your tutor at university- you won’t be the first to fall at uni and I am sure they have pastoral care to help support you. Just because you are pregnant doesn’t mean you have to stop your studies!

Wishing you the best of luck going forward and that everything goes well!

cranstonmanor · 10/08/2019 15:19

One of my cousins had a baby while she was at uni. It wasn't ideal and financially quite tight but they muddled through. Uni is only a couple of years anyway. Once you have a job and the kid goes to school things get easier.

Original poster
Gillseybear · 10/08/2019 16:01

Thats what i was thinking. I know i will be okay, it is just the little things. Have just spoken to some friends and they have been really supportive and offered me some advice. Plus the uni has really good support services and have already set up a few things to help. I have a meeting with them next week. So i am sure i will be okay. Just need to stop overthinking things. I know right now was not what i wanted but i am not going to let it hold me back. In a weird sense i am really happy and i know that it will be a good thing for me.

OP posts:
userxx · 10/08/2019 16:06

You can do this. The timing isn't perfect, but that's life things aren't meant to be perfect. You sound a lot more positive after talking to friends, keep talking to them.

GreatestShowUnicorn · 10/08/2019 16:13

Congratulations! What year are you going into? Depending on dates it sounds like you might be early so you might manage to finish the uni year before baby arrives. I had a friend who did that and then took a year out. As it was her dd arrived at 37 weeks so she ended up doing an exam with tiny baby in tow but her uni were good and let her do them exam in a room on her own, invigilator was happy to cuddle baby and she got extra time to feed baby mid exam!

Original poster
Gillseybear · 10/08/2019 18:26

I am repeating first year after some personal issues last year. The good thing is that I would not be due until middle of April. Only a rough estimate as not had a period for a while because of pill. The uni down here are great. I have dyslexia and so need help with essays ect. They have helped so much and I have a mentor that I see every week and she said that she would help me sort out my options when she is bsck from holiday.
My friends helped a lot and made me realise that I was worrying about things I did not need to worry about.
Am doing a photography degree and there are no exams just cause work. It has given me an idea for a project I can do on pregnancy which will be cool. So in a lot better mood now

OP posts:
Michellebops · 11/08/2019 07:49

Just reading your thread and it definitely sounds as though by talking it out on here you've went from being scared and afraid to bring almost excited.

Keep talking as that will help you come to your own decision as to what you want to do.

Btw yes by all means tells the father, as it takes 2 but his opinion doesn't count too much as it's your body, your decision. No one can tell you what to do ❤️

Original poster
Gillseybear · 11/08/2019 14:18

Thank you very much. It was what I needed. I just needed someone to help me understand the situation and put me at ease. Feeling a lot better today although did not sleep very well. However I am posative and I will be going to see the doctor tomorrow

OP posts:
Original poster
Gillseybear · 12/08/2019 11:08

Have just got the conformation and have a midwife appointment on Wednesday. Am rather nervous to be honest.

OP posts:
Michellebops · 12/08/2019 12:57

I'm sure it will be fine x

GreatestShowUnicorn · 16/08/2019 23:40

@Gillseybear how was the midwife?

Original poster
Gillseybear · 17/08/2019 16:44

The midwife went really well thank you. Am feeling a lot better and happier now that I have seen here

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page