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Anyone else suffer mentally every tww?!

3 replies

Alyw89 · 10/08/2019 11:27

Been trying for just over 2.5 years. I have 2 children from previous marriage 10 years ago, all natural. I was a gestation surrogate 3 years ago in 2016 via ivf and ended up with a kidney injury from untreated pre-eclampsia. My new husband had a vasectomy reversal January 2017 and we have been trying since then. Casually until this January and serious since then. I get positive ov tests every month on cycle day 12 of a 26 day cycle. My husband has a low sperm count and high numbers of ASA's. This month we tried insemination with a private sperm donor. I'm 3dpo and the mental punishment has already started.
Now I'm telling myself there must be something wrong with me. I haven't been tested but my husband has. We know he has an extremely low count. But what if its me too. What if since the surrogacy there is something wrong. Just because I'm regular and ovulate doesn't mean I'm fine. And why would this donor insem work!!?? Because right now I feel like it'll never happen. I have no hope. Hope can be crushed. So I've spent all morning in bed, nursing my mental instability. Googling and telling myself I must have something wrong. My head hurts from just thinking too much.
Ive had months where I'm totally chill and months where I should be commited!! But this month because of using a donor I feel I should have positivity.... But I can't find it anywhere. I'm not the only one who swings from one emotion to the next right? Because after 32 cycles of trying I think I'm lost. And maybe a little crazy.

OP posts:
Michellebops · 10/08/2019 14:37

I hear you. It's an emotional journey no matter if short route or scenic route.

I do find myself turning a bit psycho but then I think to myself it's not helping me or anyone else.

Currently gutting the house to avoid thinking about it all. I'm 3/4 dpo based on positive opk Monday am. Dtd Sunday and Tuesday/Wednesday. Probably not enough but just need to hope for the best.

I fell pregnant this month a year ago but miscarried at 12 weeks.

Chat anytime and we can talk each other down.

Alyw89 · 10/08/2019 15:16

I am sorry you have experienced loss. 😞 There is nothing anyone can say to make it better. After my surrogacy journey, I know the only way I can emotionally heal is having a child. I can't say I won't feel broken anymore but it'll help. 🤷‍♀️
But getting pregnant seems impossible for me and easy for everyone else. I keep wondering, at 30 years old and my husband being 40, really it shouldn't be so hard!!!
But it is! I beat myself up so much. I feel like a failure.
I have the tests in the cupboard ready for this month. I got a positive opk Wednesday morning and I inseminated Tuesday night and Wednesday morning with our donors sample. But me and my husband dtd Mon pm, Tues pm (5 hours after donor insem), wed am (4 hours after insem) and wed pm. I swear to god my timing couldn't have been more perfect and I don't know how I could NOT fall pregnant this month with so much sperm 🤦‍♀️ but I'm sure I won't be because that's the way it's been for 32 cycles!!! Just be sure we used a donor for the first time, why would it happen? See I'm so negative but I feel like it's self preservation. I was told the other day to image I'm PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) but surely the pain of not being pregnant in 10 days will be too much to handle right??

OP posts:
Michellebops · 10/08/2019 17:32

I totally agree with everything you say.

You did something amazing for someone by being a surrogate and you should be proud of yourself as not many people could do this.

I really hope it happens for you this month.

If I'm not successful this month I'm going to ask my gp for chlomid to maybe help.

I'm a lot older at 42 so I know I don't have much time left 😭

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