Feel a bit down & life on hold for baby

[MountAbora]

So I came off bc in March and we have been trying since with 1 chemical pregnancy at the end of May. I know that it isn’t a long time trying but I’m getting quite down about it. My DP has a few health issues so we can’t always DTD at the right time, we didn’t do it at all this month during ovulation, however we are open and talk about it at least. I still am struggling atm to feel positive.
However my issue is that I feel like I’m putting things on hold waiting for a baby, I have recently finished a 3 year course in a new field. We had agreed I would stay at my current employment just now until I had a baby but the reality is that it could be a year or so before that happens.
I don’t want to let good job opportunities slip by me but equally I would lose out on a decent maternity package if I leave my current job.
Has anyone else been in a similar position? I know no one can tell me what to do, just feel a bit alone and would be nice to hear from others!

I'm still in my job due to the maternity package they offer. Been ttc for just over 16 months. I'm not interested in a better job atm (was looking previously) so am staying put but if something came up I'd go for it. You cannot put your life on hold. Having a baby may never happen. I was putting things on hold for a while but then realised I'll never do anything if I do that. There is never a right or perfect time to have a baby.

Thanks for replying @PerfectPear and I’m sorry as it sounds like you have had a rough time ttc.
You are right that there’s never a perfect time to have a baby. I guess it just feels like I shouldn’t be looking right now, but then when AF comes I feel a bit stupid for not doing things.
Same with coffee etc. I had been trying to drink very little caffeine or alcohol etc but this month when we didn’t dtd I felt like a rebel and had coffee/alcohol when I wanted it (have been on holiday so felt justified too!)

I was in a job I was very unhappy in. We started TTC last August but I was desperate to get a new job as I was miserable but it played in the back of my head so I can potentially fall pregnant at any point/whilst going through interviews/getting a new job! Anyway, it worked out that I got a new job and started in January. We were careful January - March so that if I feel pregnant straight after that break, I'd have been in my job a full year before going off. The reality is, we're now in August so a year on from me coming off birth control and still nothing! We've had initial investigative tests and both came back normal. GP is happy to refer us to fertility clinic but going to try for a couple more months given I told her we'd been trying a year... Didn't mention the 3 months being careful! It's so sooooo hard. I was constantly Googling "new job and pregnant" and reading what other people did but I needn't have worried 🙄

Unfortunately ttc can take over your whole life - no big expenditures, not planning holidays, life becomes lived in 2 weeks segments - first two weeks of cycle up till ovulation and then the dreaded 2ww - we've been ttc nr 2 for over 2 years now and we've accepted that life has been on hold and will be on hold for at least another 6 months - we set ourselves 2019 as ivf year - if it doesn't work this year we know we will have no regrets that there wasn't anything we could have tried and didn't and we ll (hopefully) be at peace with that decision

@MountAbora I wouldn't put things on hold, but I understand the job situation, I want to change jobs but currently earning a decent Waco a month and it's helping to pay my loans off early!

We wanted to buy a house first but after OH going self employed we need 2 years of his books to get him on the mortgage so we're staying out for now and going to make the most of it! ☺️

On cycle 4 now TTC so it could be a while before we catch which means we will be closer and closer to buying a house once baby is conceived/born 😘😘

It just depends how you feel about your situation and how important having a family is to you and your OH x

@lankyliscuits oh that does sound hard. I’m glad you got a new job tho as ttc is tough enough without not liking your job as well. That’s good that your GP sounds pretty helpful, fingers crossed for the next couple of months for you.
@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted Thank you for sharing. You’re right in that everything feels like it’s on hold, it’s a limbo of 2 week segments. I hope that this is your year, and if it’s not, it does sound like you have done all you can.
@flossy12 That’s great that your getting closer to getting a mortgage etc and it sounds like you will be in a good place for a baby (altho I accept there is never a perfect time!) I think it’s these things that are important too, the realisation that things could take a while with ttc and that it’s good to have other goals as well.

I feel a bit better after hearing your stories, thank you. We had always planned to try as soon as I finished my Msc, I guess because Iv tried for so much of my life not to get pregnant it’s was surprise when it didn't happen when I wanted it too! I know, I know, very naive of me, I did know the stats, just didn’t want to believe them! It can be rubbish and tough so I wish all of you the best of luck in whatever comes next.