Waiting to ttc after a miscarriage

[FromTheMist]

Hi,

Last week I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks, baby had stopped developing at 7 weeks. Absolutely heartbroken. This was my first pregnancy and I feel so ready to start my family.

Went for surgical management yesterday, now starting the wait for my body to get back to it's normal rhythm so we can think about trying again. All the whilst feeling guilty that trying again means "forgetting" this baby who I so dearly wanted and loved.

Anybody else in a similar situation?

Hi there,

I am so so sorry that you find yourself in this situation. I've been there, had a ERPC for a MMC in December but we didn't wait, we just TTC again straight away as that's what the doctor advised.

I totally understand that wanting to wait though. It's emotionally so hard. You must do what's right for you

But I do find myself in a similar situation as you now, I'm waiting to TTC post loss too.

My baby died a month ago at 5 days old. As I had a section I'm having to wait for the scar to heal preferably 6 months.

First day of my period post birth today so CD1 and hoping my cycles are regularly straight away.

What are your cycles usually like?

I'm so sorry to hear you lost your lost that stage, I can't even imagine how you must be feeling 💔

We are going to try again as soon as possible. As I only had the surgical mangement yesterday I need to wait for the bleeding to stop and to get a negative pregnant test. My cycles are fairly regular (27-29 days) and when I first came off the pill last year I had my first af after 5+2 weeks. Hoping its a good sign won't be too long to get back to regular cycles, but I seem to have lost trust in my body as it didn't realise my baby had stopped developing for so long.

6 months is a long time for you to wait to try again! Have you any other older children?

I have been in a similar situation a few weeks ago, non-evolutive pregnancy. It was hard but what helped me was realize that I didn't actually lose a baby - there was never the potential for a baby there, just a bunch of cells that didn't know what they were doing. I think it is much preferrable to losing an actual baby later in pregnancy, so if it was going to end it is a blessing that it ended so early.

I tried again to conceive yesterday (I have medical assistance as a single parent) and just starting the agonizing 14 days wait, but I am fairly at peace with whatever may come. It defo helps that I already have a son.

I know the wait is terribly frustrating because you feel powerless, you can't fo anything to go faster or improve your chances. What helped me was to try and focus on other areas of my life, my job, my friends, building for my future (looking to buy an appartment in about a year). Anything and everything to take your mind off things.

I also read testimonies of people who have struggled to conceive, though I usually steer clear of those immediately after a loss or a failure to conceive.

FromTheMist hopefully bleeding will stop for you soon, I only bled for 3 days after mine. How did it go for you? I know that feeling though of losing trust in your body, but try to remember that MMC are pretty common and so you aren't alone in how your body responded, there's no way you could have known.

Also, you never know you might be lucky and conceive before your next period! I did!

6 months is a long time, originally I was told 18 months though by a MW!! I do have a son already, a 2 year old, so desperate to give him a sibling. He keeps asking for his brother back which is so heart breaking.

Sorry for your loss too, Malyshek , it's that hope and dreams for that "baby" when you see a positive pregnancy test that you you've lost isn't it, no matter what stage etc.

You're right it certainly helps ease that pain having another child already doesn't it. They keep you going!

Fingers crossed for you!

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️ If you are emotionally ready to TTC straight away then I would go for it. I k ow they ask for you to wait until you get your first period but there’s no reason behind that other than it makes it easier for them to date the pregnancy.

What I would say is if your going to try straight away you should use ovulation sticks. I ovulated on day 17 which would be way off for my normal ovulation but we caught it and are pregnant again straight after a miscarriage in June. Your a little bit more fertile straight after so increases your chances slightly x