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Help please!!

26 replies

LadyInParis · 28/07/2019 22:03

Ok, so I'm due to be married next year, and move country full time to start my new life. (I live with my fiance full time in Paris , but I'm English and have to visit now and then, but I plan to end my tenancy etc after marriage and be here full time) then eventually move to Tunisia (his country of origin and where his family live, my choice to live there but will take some time as he is well established here in his current role, good job and would be hard, and take time, to do the same in Tunisia, so this will be a few years away yet). So we have it all planned out.

However, we visited Tunisia a couple of weeks ago and things got a bit weird for me, cycle wise. So I'll lay out below the time line and symptoms as best I can:

My cycle is extremely regular, I can pin point everything in my cycle without tracking or timing anything. It's just so regular that I came to know my body very well. I'd say my cycle is about 29 days.

My last period, before our trip, was 19 June and my periods are very short (3 days or so). We had sex during the time leading up to the trip, which was on the 6th July. We also managed to sneak in a couple of shags whilst there, around the 12th and then the 15th. On the last few days there, I began to lose appetite, and had random throwing up, and felt nauseous. I could only seem to eat fresh almonds Confused
On the way home I threw up twice and felt extremely sick. My moods were very extreme too; in a way I never had before. Crying when I usually wouldn't, pure rage Etc.
So we get back, and the sickness and nausea seem to lift, then a few days later I was sick, then again a few days later sick again (out of nowhere) with nausea between those episodes. Moods still wierd, no other symptoms. The sickness and nausea were totally random; not something you'd expect from a tummy bug for example.

So now I have missed my period by a fair bit. Moods still up and down very emotional, nose like a blood hound, my cervix feels weird (not like it usually does at any time of my cycle) and the same for discharge. No sore boobs but my back is agony, lower back. Slight cramping on and off similar to pre period but less painful, and the pain now and then favours the right side. Slight dietary changes. Sleeping a lottttttttttt!

But.. no positive test? I did a digital first before missed period but way too early. Since then I have used the same tests over and over (pink dye two line ones) and always neg. One of them I thought I saw a line, but it was a squinter and a half and I couldn't even pick it up on pics, even using camera. To be fair I only used fmu once but that was a clear neg anyway. No idea what's going on! No blood at all.

Fiance is convinced of it, I am too but also I am obviously wary because of the tests! This would be my first. And as I said above, we have a plan and this would kind of put a spanner in the works. Although would be 100 percent accepted and happy too.

To note; I am not on contraception and we didn't use condoms. Pretty stupid way to divert our plan Hmm but hey ho, baby would be loved and welcome. Just would need to change said life plan. So I would be happy with a yes or a no. Also I'm pretty certain we had sex at the time I would have ovulated.

We plan to go to the doctor, but I'd just like some opinions please. Being a possible new mum and not knowing is scary for me. I never had a mum (She killed herself when I was 13) so I don't have mum around for this type of advice. I'd really appreciate "mum" advice please CakeFlowers

OP posts:
LadyInParis · 01/08/2019 10:20

I know how frustrating and anxious making it can be when the body you know doesn't behave as it should but I don't think there's anything seriously wrong. You could just be v stressed and have a strange virus. Can you see the Gp just to rule out a UTI?

I hope it all settles down soon. You have some exciting times to look forward to.

Thank you @ShowOfHands I think your point about your body not behaving as it should is a particularly good point in my situation. I rarely get ill, and my body is always like clock work and I think I find this hard to accept as I never had this before. So the next logical conclusion was it must be pregnancy, since it has all those symptoms, therefore my body is reacting normally. If that makes sense? And the longer it went on the more I began to accept a pregnancy despite it being at an inconvenient time. Then I started to bond in my mind with my "baby", and imagine the future, and maternity clothes, and her daddy having one of those slings for skin to skin contact and imagining how he would be with her (always a her I don't know why!) And how amazing a dad he would make. We even, before the blood test ruled it out, took videos of "mum" eating meat when she never does, and I was talking to her on the video and telling her how I don't eat meat but she gets to make her own choices, stuff like that. And he was looking up all kinds of things. I was even planning what music to play to her when she would be able to hear in utero. And decided as much as I like rap, I didn't want her to listen to swearing. But I also love Prince and Queen etc, the classic really good one off music we don't get anymore and how I would have her hear that. Once we got the blood test back I got so angry. It felt like science was trying to deny my baby when I knew she was there. But obviously that was me in total denial. It has all been such an emotional rollercoaster really. It all sounds crazy but up until the bloods, it was likely, and I did then build this bond. The day I got the results was total denial. Since then I have accepted that I am not pregnant. But I do need to see a doc and see what is going on. Thank you for your kind words about the future. It's very true and we will be very happy. I am very lucky to have found myself in the position I am in, with an amazing man and his family after all the heartbreak I have been through in my life. And there is time. At least now we can be married before having children, which I do want very much.

@Michellebops Yes I did look up phantom pregnancy at one point, but the figures were so low (from what I read) and I didn't and still don't really understand phantom pregnancy. Why would my body make it up etc, but it certainly does seem that it could well have doesn't it? As you said, all the symptoms except an actual positive test. I do need to see a doc and get it figured out. Thanks for your help Flowers

It's all been very emotional. I may sound crazy but it is how I felt. I really had all those symptoms. I really felt I was going to be a mother. And I'm fighting back tears because I think this process right now of writing it all down, has helped my mind make sense of it all more, and accept fully that I am not pregnant. There is no baby. My baby wasn't ever there.

But I have a great life and future finally. So it isn't the end of the world- we both have so much to look forward to. Thank You all for your advice xxxxxx

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