TTC with high BMI - fertility clinic recs?

[Ofpalestsilver]

Hello - I'm new to the Mumsnet forum (well long time lurker, first time poster!) so apols if this is in the wrong place.

I've been TTC for over a year. I have irregular periods (cycles between 35-60 days); I was diagnosed with PCOS at 19 (a few years later I had five years with no periods at all and incredibly low oestrogen); I have really intense dark hair growth (which I was previously told was to do with the PCOS, extra andogen etc.) Essentially, I had thought that although I am overweight (and I am!), my history would mean that I would get checked out fertility wise on the NHS.

No dice. Just more metformin, a free subscription to Slimming World (which I already go to!) and the gym (which I also already go to!) Now that I have finished crying (I'm not opposed to lowering my BMI but the weight I need to get to will take me a long time because weight loss is slow for me - a known PCOS symptom but anyway) I'm here to ask:

Can anyone recommend a London-based fertility clinic that will be sensitive to someone with a higher BMI? I'm a reasonably fit person with a diet full of fresh, unprocessed foods. I just want to be treated like a person not the carrier of the dreaded obesity.

Apols again, this post is half question, half me just wanting to get some of this off my chest so thanks anyone who reads this for listening. And please, don't be mean, tell me to lose weight etc.

I'm not being mean but if you lose weight you may find you don't need as much intervention. I was overweight and ttc for 18months after being told I wasn't ovulating, the month my weight went into a healthy bmi I conceived. I'd really suggest trying to lose the weight first.

The truth is if a fertility clinic takes you on they will be interested more in taking your ££ than helping you conceive a healthy baby.

Having a high BMI increases pre, postnatal problems and the risk of a stillborn exponentially, so please put all your energy into getting fit and healthy with a normal bmi as that is by far the best choice for you in terms of positive pregnancy outcomes.

Good luck.

I'm really sorry you find yourself in this boat. I'm sure you don't want diet advice, but here it is anyway: no carbs. Carbs are anathema to pcos.

There are two reasons the nhs can't help at this point: one is that any fertility treatment is far less effective with a high bmi. Fat is an endocrine disrupter... the second is that a high bmi hugely increases risks of pregnancy complications, so it's a bit unethical for them to help you become pregnant in an very high risk pregnancy...

That said, there are unscrupulous clinics out there who will prey on your vulnerability and be quite happy to take your money, even with the two factors I've outlined above.

I can't provide specific recommendations, except to say the infertility board has lots of info and the hfea website is the place to start when researching uk clinics...

Can't really add much, but rather than throwing money at a clinic, I tried the 'Do the unthinkable' diet from musclefoods, they send you everything you should eat for the day, 3 meals, 3 snacks, never felt hungry and the weight is coming of at a nice sustainable rate.

It depends on your BMI. Most private clinics will treat you if your BMI is under 35, while the NHS will want it to be 29/30. If it’s above 35 you may need to look abroad and those clinics won’t necessarily be reputable. If it’s just fertility investigations rather than treatment then again most places will do it.

@Ofpalestsilver have you had any testing done on the NHS at all? Has your partner had his sperm analysis yet? Losing weight (and keeping it off) is a long journey and you have my sympathy! But it is so so worth it!

I’m sorry that everyone ignored your plea around diet advice. PCOS is complex. If weight loss was easy there would be no one overweight!
Hoping you get some answers xxx

Thanks everyone!

@NotMaryWhitehouse - no nothing I’m afraid. Had hoped for something to understand the super long cycles but they’re resistant to referral.

And to the person who mentioned that fertility clinics do 35 and under. Thanks as I am under 35 so that’s good to know.

Have they even done blood tests?! I think that's crazy- will they not check your partner either?!

Read the fine print with the clinics. In many if you have PCOS consultants will insist on a sub 29.5 BMI before starting IVF. Guidelines for IUI and other procedures may allow a higher BMI.

Hey @NotMaryWhitehouse - no she said I needed to lose weight before they would consider doing anything.

It is what it is. Just wanted to get it off my chest anonymously! :)

I think that's really poor tbh, I'd go back and ask them again. You poor thing, how frustrating for you. If they still say no I'd pay for private blood tests and start from there.

There's no reason your partner can't get his analysis done separately.

I'm sorry you've been made to wait, that's horrible.

@NotMaryWhitehouse - yes I was thinking of sending my partner in. I figured they'd take him more seriously, because he's a man but also because he's slim!, and do some tests on him to make sure there's nothing wrong with his bits & bobs. Thank you for your responses - really appreciate it. :)

@Butters83 - thank you, I appreciate that! I've had PCOS and period probs since I was a young slender thing and yes, it is complex.

My sil is morbidly obese and has lost her babies through stillbirth and miscarriage and has been told by drs she is jeopardizing the health and viability of conceiving and she is in denial that her weight has anything to do with it and eats for self comfort so I understand how it is easy to say lose weight but seemingly psychologically impossible to get to a normal bmi for women like her a such a paralysing mental block.

Specialist counselling for this would probably be more beneficial than fertility treatment in these scenarios.

I did have IVF at a private London clinic with a BMI of 37 with my first pregnancy, BMI of 32 with second and BMI 29 with 3rd child.

I was monitored more with first two pregnancies.

Have PCOS too.

I cut carbs and refined sugar, which helped PCOS, but you need specialist support because losing weight when you have PCOS is more complex.

@bugaboo218 - did you speak with a dietician to develop a PCOS friendly diet? Or just do your own research.

I went to a specialist dietician, who was fantastic.

Had various blood tests done and other profiling as part of the process simply because losing weight with PCOS is more complex than just dieting and eating less.

Really worked with me regarding my hectic lifestyle, food preferences, likes/ dislikes without any judgement. Have stuck to plan over the years and I am now within healthy BMI range.

If you do seek specialist dietary support make sure person you are seeing is qualified.

That's ok, there are so many of us on this shitty journey, it's good to come and get all your frustrations out! Keep us posted and feel free to moan any time.