Onto cycle 8 TTC (feeling weirdly despondent)

[Rosieposy89]

AF arrived this morning a day later than planned so that means we are onto cycle 8 TTC our first. I'm feeling weirdly calm and a bit despondent about it which I don't understand. I think I'm just that convinced it's not going to happen I'm just not that upset anymore when AF arrives. I'm just counting down the months until we can go see our GP tbh. I hate feeling this negative about it all but I really don't feel there's much to be positive about :(

Has anyone else felt like this? And have people had success after trying for 8 cycles without needing to see their GP?

Hi @Rosieposy89 :)

I can completely sympathise with you! I am currently on cycle 7 of TTC #1 and I am getting more and more deflated every month...i truly thought it would happen quicker than this. I actually went to the doctors last week and asked for some blood tests to be done which they reluctantly agreed to do (a progesterone test at day 21 of cycle, a LH test at day 4 and a B12 test as I am a vegetarian)...i know its not a full investigation but it feels good to be taking control a little bit. Maybe we can buddy up and help each other through each month

Thanks for your reply @NL1986 - I'm sorry you are experiencing trouble conceiving too. Maybe it just takes this long and there's nothing to worry about? I hope all your blood tests are good. I know what you mean about taking control - you naturally want to do everything you can to make it happen. We both started on Wellman/Pregnacare and it feels good to be doing something. I'm thinking of fertility acupuncture if only to help me destress a little. I'd like to buddy up! Good luck - lets hope it's our turn soon xx

@Rosieposy89 I feel exactly the same! We're in month 10. I went to the GP early and told a little white lie we'd been trying for a year... I have actually been off the pill a year but we had a couple of careful months due to starting a new job. OH's sperm analysis came back normal. I think my bloods have come back normal but GP appointment next Wednesday to confirm and discuss. I've already told myself it's not going to happen and I just feel numb about it tbh. I haven't cried, screamed or really done anything. I don't feel particularly sad. I feel like I'm just trying to prepare and protect myself for major issues cropping up in months to come 😔

@lankyliscuits thanks for replying. It's so hard isn't it 😒. I'm glad OHs SA was normal. Good luck for your results. I'm thinking I'm just 100% convinced it isn't going to happen that I can't even be bothered to be upset when AF shows up now, it feels futile. You're exactly right about feeling numb and self protection. I've even starting saving for IVF in case it's needed which is ridiculous!

I can't really tell a lie as I am on medication & my GP knew we started in January as we got the all clear. There's no evidence my medication affects my fertility but I have a niggling doubt it might and I thought my GP may be prepared to do a blood test before the 12 months just to check. I haven't plucked up the courage to go yet and DH thinks it's too early to go yet 🙄. Good luck xx

@Rosieposy89 is it worth seeing another GP? Just say you want to discuss fertility and ask the question as to whether they'll do tests. I thought I'd get quizzed loads but tbh I don't stick with the same GP, just the one I can get a convenient appointment with. So when I rocked up and she was like yup, we'll send you for tests I was quite surprised. She was amazing whereas past GPs have definitely been less so!

@lankyliscuits really good news that the first round of tests were clear for you, hopefully your GP can give you some useful feedback on the next step.

I am pretty sure i feel the first rumblings of AF today...i am actually just starting to really lose faith. I know you can't compare yourself to other people but it just seems to be an easy lovely process for so many its really unfair :(

Hi, hope you don’t mind if I join? We’re just about to start trying again for cycle 8, and I totally agree with everything you have said! When we first started trying (like cycles 1&2) I was always sure I was pregnant and couldn’t wait to test, now the tww is a breeze because I know I’m not counting down to anything other than AF. In some ways it feels easier because I don’t get my hopes up, but then in other ways it makes it seem pointless to even be trying because I’m so sure it’s just not going to happen. I’ve also started saving for IVF and trying to lose a bit of weight because it just seems so inevitable that we’re going to need it and I don’t want there to be anything else holding us up. I’m generally a really optimistic person, but it’s hard not to think there’s a problem when other people seem to click their fingers and get pregnant!

Welcome to the group @LFH1990 :)

Completely agree - I just feel frustrated each month now rather than upset and each month is starting to feel pointless. Its a hard balance between trying to be positive and not getting your hopes up. I am also normally a very positive person and i really did start this journey with a very positive outlook but the last two months have started to get me down.

Losing a bit of weight is a good positive step! i am also trying to be more active as i have heard it can help things. Sending lots of baby vibes to you for this month...when is your next AF due?

Thanks @NL1986 😊 trying to be a bit healthier is making me feel like I’m being active with TTC if that makes any sense?! Plus I’m sure if we were to need IVF then my BMI would need to be a bit lower, it’s only a few lbs but I’d be so annoyed if we got to that point and then it all had to be put on hold! AF not due for ages, think I should be ovulating 7th-10th Aug. How about you?
Last cycle AF was a day late, and I thought I hadn’t got my hopes up but then I was so gutted when it came, now I just feel like “what’s the point?” Because I think I have a bit of a flair for the dramatic 😂

@LFH1990 of course we don't mind! Welcome 😊. It sounds like we are in the exact same position and with a similar thought process to me. Thanks for making me feel less alone. I am also trying to lose weight but I comfort eat when stressed so it's bloody hard. The only think that reassures me is that like 92% get pregnant in 2 years or something so the odds are on our side. It's just so frustrating because you want something so bad but can't make it happen. I think I'll feel better if/when we get fertility investigations done as the constant not knowing and second guessing drives me crazy. Good luck xx

@lankyliscuits - if i'm not pregnant next month I will book a GP appointment, the worst they'll do is say no eh?

@NL1986 - I'm sorry to hear that it sounds like AF is on the way. Fingers crossed it isn't xx

@Rosieposy89 I know what you mean, I have zero patience and I’m a complete control freak, so this is like my worst nightmare because there is just nothing I can do. I know, I keep thinking that statistically it will happen, it’s just hard not to know. I’m really torn about starting tests etc with doctors, it would be nice to do something about it, but I feel certain they’ll say there’s nothing wrong and I just need to keep trying. I do genuinely think it will all be ok in the end, it just might take us a bit longer. I’m sure we’ll all get there 😊 xx

@LFH1990 absolutely. I suppose we need to be kinder to ourselves as I think people underestimate how hard TTC can be for some. Each month you never know if your life is going to change! I am carrying my life on as normal - been to the pub for a few afternoon drinks today and booked a little holiday for next year. I think that's the only way I can do it, I can't put my life on hold for a non-existent child!

Do you track/test for ovulation at all? I don't. I'm going to book some acupuncture this month though so we shall see. It will be our time soon xx

@Rosieposy89 I am carrying on life as normal, booking holidays etc, but I secretly think “I might be pregnant by the time that holiday comes” but then it’s hard because all of these little milestones come and go, and I’m still not pregnant. But one day it will be our turn. I sometimes have to remind myself that there’s not a quota for babies being born and if someone else is pregnant that doesn’t mean they’ve taken “my baby” 😂
I use OvuSense to track bbt and ovulation because I was driving myself mad trying to figure out what was happening when, I had a polyp removed last year (which I think has come back) so my cycle has never been regular. I found it helped me feel much more in control of what was happening. What is the theory behind acupuncture? I’ve heard a few people mention it but I don’t really understand if it’s to help with general stress or specifically to help with fertility? Xx