TTC First baby aged 40- anyone else out there?

[OliveRose]

Hi all,

I know there's a thread for TTC 40+ which is great and wonderfully supportive, but to be honest, I sometimes find it hard to relate to as most of the women in there seem to already have DC. I'm newly 40 and after a series of unhappy circumstances and relationships in my 20's-30's I was lucky enough to meet my lovely DH only a couple of years ago - so I've never had a chance to TTC until now.

We have had all the private tests and on paper everything's good- apart from my age of course. Taking all the vits and both v healthy. Been trying for nearly 6 months now. Sometimes I feel positive and relaxed but occasionally I feel incredibly scared our chance has gone and about how mad this is at my age.

Is there anyone out there in my position?

Bumping

Am I the only one?

Didn't want to leave you with no reply.

Sorry I do already have my daughter but just wanted to say I conceived naturally last year at 41 (sadly miscarried at 12 weeks) and still trying 9 months later.

You're not alone in feeling you've left it too late. There's a post with a woman at 46 pregnant.

Sorry for jumping your post, maybe someone else will respond for you.

Good luck

One of my very good friends had her first baby at age 46 a year ago. She thought she couldn't have any children, No IVF- her DD is just lovely.

I am also feeling very discouraged with trying to conceive but I just wanted to pass on some positive encouragement.

Good luck! x

Hi Olive Rose, The most effective thing you can do is to eat natural foods, good quality veg, fruit, meat and dairy and cut out as much sugar and refined starches as possible. Most studies show that this results in much higher rates than IVF. I am 45 this year with a four year old and a 6 month old. Much love !

Thank you @Michellebops for your kind post, and the others. Good to hear.

Yes I already eat essentially cleanly and have done for years, don't eat sugar or refined foods at all. I've also cut down coffee to less that 200mg a day of caffeine, and my only vice is wine- which I have radically reduced but have been known to have the odd glass when AF arrives! Taking the pre-conception vits and ubiquinol as well.

It's just that thought that I might never have a child that's scary.

It sounds as though you're doing enough. Have you been to see gp for bloods? They'll do them if you have been trying for 6 months.

I had day 21 bloods to check I was ovulating.

Oh that sounds interesting @Michellebops I didn't know they'd do that for you. Thank you for the suggestion. Did you just request the blood test?

No I went as nothing had happened for 5 months and I was in pain. I also went for a pelvic ultrasound.

It's worth asking for. I actually got a full blood count and found I had low b12.

My lovely friend had her first baby at 43. My mum had my sister also at 43 (not her first though) A friend of mine met a woman at work not do long ago who thought she had begun the menopause- turned out she was pregnant- at 50!! I couldn't believe it! There is a good chance for you, fingers crossed for you ❤️

You're not the only one! I'm 43. No children. Met my partner about a year and a half ago after what seemed like an eternity on my own!
We have discussed have our own child together, he has one from a previous relationship, so here I am. A total newbie novice xx

Oh @Catclock thanks for posting. Good to hear from you and keeping fingers crossed. X

And you @OliveRose nice to 'meet' you. And I absolutely totally and utterly understand how you feel. The sheer panics that run through you, usually at 3am, and the sleepless nights, the what ifs etc. We can talk lots more x

Hi all. I'm turning 38 this week and am currently TTC my first child after removing my copper IUD in January. So far I've noticed my ovulation tests getting slightly darker than the previous months although it has never been as dark as the test line 😿. I am constantly sad that I've missed my chance too.

I'm on a ketogenic diet, take folic acid and magnesium supplements and use pre-seed. So far nothing.

Thanks for the responses.

Even though I have had all good results from a private fertility check I have found ovulation tests (box ones) to be really confusing. One month the display stick thing just wouldn't work at all so I had to buy a whole new kit and sometimes I wonder if they're just completely useless devices and simply designed to make money out of us at our most desperate... but I might just be cynical.

Hi all. I'm 38 and we're now considering ttc after a recent mc. I fell pregnant whilst on the mini pill (and taking it religiously) - to say the news was a shock would be an understatement! I have two boys ages 8 and 12, my fiance has no bio children.

It feels scary at times even ttc as an older mum!

Wishing you all happy news before long 😊

Just wanted to say that there’s a TTC #1 35+ thread that I’m sure you’d be welcome on! I’ve since “graduated” but I know what you mean about it being different when you’re trying for your first. I couldn’t relate to people who already had children and it was the first time I felt like I had found my people.

I actually struggled a lot emotionally and being around people in a similar situation helped me loads.

Sorry to interrupt (I'm 44, 2 year old DC and half way through preg with DC2, started TTC at nearly 41 if that helps BTW), but ovulation tests never worked for me either. Also I read that when over 40 OPKs tend to show a line too late for conception (one of many factors that seem to be different for over 40s) so watch the timing!
I think this is a needed thread as there are lots of you out there and 35+ is simply not the same at all! I completely get why 40 something women with DC already or mere 36 year olds can be annoying/not your 'vibe' as I was there once too......so will wish you luck and go now!

Hi OP, was just about to suggest the 35+ thread but see that another graduate of that one has already suggested it to you!

I'm a year behind you and currently expecting my first so totally understand!

Best of luck 🤞

Thanks all! I have snooped on the 35+ thread but @PetraRabbit has it right, that sometimes it just doesn't resonate with me personally. At 35/36 I don't think you feel quite the same sense of sheer panic urgency you do at 40 (even though I know it's really hard and don't mean to play top trumps with TTC woes!) Everyone has it tough.

It's also that I don't feel able to talk to anyone IRL. I'm not on good terms with my mother and friends are all busy with their older kids. I literally don't know anyone who's been in my position. When you read things online / in the media all it talks about is the 35 cliff edge (hurry up and get on with it), or how women are putting off children for their careers. The first message is unhelpful as I already feel a massive weight of urgency and don't need to be reminded or scolded by anyone in the media, and the second message doesn't apply to me.

@OliveRose we TTC for the first time around my 39th birthday and when the BFP came on cycle 3 we were a bit in shock because of the narrative around the cliff edge (I agree, I don't think this helps anyone to be honest, and the career thing bugged me too - again not applicable to us!). I can understand your panic as I did wonder if we'd left it too late, but it can happen. Obviously not everyone will be successful. A good few on that 35+ thread are 39/40 this year though.

Thanks @Weathergirl1 great to hear