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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

anyone just doing dtd and just hoping for the best?

10 replies

sojo44 · 20/07/2019 19:34

I've got irregular cycles (week 9 and no AF, and negative on a pregnancy test).

No idea of ovulation with the crazy cycles (I may try measure them next time my AF comes around). I've got a blood test appointment on Friday just to check everything is in order.

But till then, we're just DTD and seeing what happens. This is our first cycle to TTC though I wasn't exactly expecting cycles to be this bloody long.... Hmm

Anyone in the same boat? Or have some positive stories of conceiving with irregular cycles?

OP posts:
nzs2019 · 20/07/2019 20:30

Hi , I've always had irregular cycles.. always just sort of waited for AF. Never tracked ovulation, I've fallen pregnant 3 times just by DTD. I would say if you have an active sex life anyway you don't need to track. All the best

Doyouavocado · 21/07/2019 07:39

For me, I tried for 6 months DTD and nothing. I have a big event next year that this would impact so decided to do the 2 day clear blue test 2 weeks ago and found out yesterday that I’m pregnant so IMO they are amazing. Xx

jaggynettle · 21/07/2019 11:38

Yep - just hoping for the best. Have tried ovulation tracking and DTD on specific days at specific times in specific positions. Totally killed the joy and spontaneity in our relationship. OH felt like he had to perform to demand, as did I. Then the 2 week wait with constant symptom spotting, peeing on expensive sticks only to end up in tears at the end of the month and wondering what went wrong when I had done everything "right".

Conceived DD7 after a year. Have had two further pregnancies that related in MC - neither of them were "planned" in so much that I didn't track - although both were very much welcomed.

So here we are again just DTD and hoping for a missed period. Only then will I POAS - at least that's what I tell myself 🤣

Graphista · 21/07/2019 12:37

I'm lucky in that I conceived quickly every time - the first time I was on the pill!

I've mentioned this before on mn but it's stuck in my mind, I remember seeing dr Robert winston on telly doing a "phone in" years ago, in both the preamble to the phone in and in comments he made during the phone in he was clear that in his experience quite a few of the couples referred to infertility services didn't need to have been

That many of them simply weren't having sex often enough and were being too restrictive doing things like only having sex when they thought the woman was ovulating (and often had miscalculated that), only having sex at certain times of day (why people did that I don't know!) not addressing basics that can impede fertility like smoking, excessive drinking, poor diet...

I had a friend who was ttc around this time who was a very prescriptive person (engineer by trade) and she called me frustrated that in 4 months! She "still wasn't pregnant!" - I mentioned this appearance to her and what he'd said, her husband was also a smoker so that was something else they addressed and within 3 months she was pregnant.

Of all the parents I know, out of the ones with no known or later discovered infertility issues, the ones that got pregnant relatively quickly were the ones that didn't stress about ovulation times or temperatures etc and just lived healthy lifestyles and had a lot of sex.

The ones that found it took them longer though not to the point where it became clear they had particular fertility issues were the ones that didn't address unhealthy lifestyle factors and who restricted sexual activity to certain points in the month etc.

Just my personal experience.

bee222 · 21/07/2019 18:01

I normally track my temp and test for ovulation. This month we are just having as much sex as possible and hoping for the best. It stresses me out doing temps and testing.

Original poster
sojo44 · 27/07/2019 12:46

@nzs2019 that definitely gives me hope! This irregular cycle business has me all over the place! I may take a leaf out of your book and just DTD and hope for the best. Getting some blood test results early next week just to make sure there is nothing causing the irregular cycles and that it's natural for my body.

@Doyouavocado yay congrats!!! what amazing news!!! Flowers

@jaggynettle that's what I'm a little conscious of, where it just kills the spontaneity and fun of it all, constantly peeing on sticks and feeling let down if the results isn't what I'm hoping for. Baby dust to you!!

OP posts:
TrailGrazer · 27/07/2019 17:59

@Graphista

I found your post quite hurtful and unsettling. It implies a ridiculous myth that getting pregnant is easy as pie once you just relax.

It's often spouted by well meaning friends and family who actually have zero experience of infertility, like yourself.

I spent 18 months having lots of sex, not tracking, just living life happily and both DH and I are very fit and healthy. I didn't stress as I knew it takes up to a year on average to conceive. Eventually had to face up something might be wrong.

To judge couples facing infertility as not being relaxed enough is unfair.

Just my personal experience.

kell2126 · 27/07/2019 20:57

Hear, hear @TrailGazer!

nzs2019 · 28/07/2019 08:08

I understand @TrailGrazer point of view

Everyone is different, for me we tried TTC for 2 years and I wasn't having periods due to stress. I was sort of starting obsessing over the thought.

After 2 years I gave up, and the month after I had a period following month I was pregnant

TrailGrazer · 28/07/2019 08:46

Being overweight, smoking and being chronically stressed may affect fertility - fact.

Not being 'relaxed enough' - myth.

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