Deciding when to try for baby number 2

[SRmy]

Everyone seems to be pregnant with baby 2! I have an 18 month old little boy who I love to pieces. Some days I’m really broody and want to give him a sibling. Other days I can’t imagine not giving him all my time and attention, the feeling is so strong it’ll bring me to tears, like I’m saying by having a second baby he’s not good enough!! I realise this is irrational and not true! My rational brain says I definitely want another, for many reasons.

How did others feel when thinking about having a second? If you felt the same, did that eventually go away? I don’t want to wait til I’m ready, only for it to be too late by the time I am!!

It took me a long while to decide but to be honest, mine was more along the lines of coping with two children at once! My daughter is a fantastic kid, well behaved & funny, I love her to pieces .. but she’s not a great sleeper and I’m really blooming tired all the time!

I’ve always had it in the back of my mind I wanted a roughly 3 year gap if I was to have two. Two close together was nottt for me! And it’s fallen into place that I’ve come to want another now.. I realised that I could not imagine her not having a sibling. She’s so sociable and recently fell in love with a friends newborn. She’s not stopped asking to see him :) Now I know one being around permanently is very different but it made me realise it’s what I want for her & me..

I’m an only child and I had a very happy childhood. You would not be doing your child a disservice at all. But I did wish for a sibling at times & as an adult, I really wish I had one! I’m very envious of my friends bonds with their siblings!

I think you’ll find your time. At 16 months, no way. I was not ready. Daughter is now 26 months & I’m very early pregnant & excited If it’s just one for you, then that’s ok too!

Are you starting to feel like you've got your shit together?

Congratulations @Bol87, and thank you for sharing your experiences. I’m glad you found your time and are feeling excited, hopefully it’ll come for me too. I just get so emotional about it all, sometimes feel like I’d be ruining my sons life by having another!!

@GreyHairDontCare3 I was starting to feel like that...but my son is going through a really awful time with his sleep at the moment, we are all exhausted. I couldn’t imagine having a newborn right now, don’t know how I’d cope!

Following if you don’t mind. I’ve got a dd who’s 13 months and we said we’d try at 12 months- too soon. We’re now saying we’ll think about it again at 18 months.
Would like to hear other people’s experiences.

I think for me at about 20 months something just clicked and I really wanted another. Up until then I wasn’t too worried.

DD has just turned 3 - I've probably been ready to try for no.2 since she was about 2.5yrs but a change in jobs means that it's been put on hold slightly so that I can be I the best position for enhanced Mat Leave entitlement with my new company. We are going to be actively TTC at the end of the year though

I was back and forth a bit too but I'm so glad I did. I now have a 3 y (and 4 months) and 6 month old and it's Brill! I was really worried towards the end that I wouldn't have enough love to share with another baby but it's just different. My daughter is amazing and I think I somehow love my son even more seeing how good he is with her - melts my heart! 😍

I'd say just go with what feels right. It was scary taking the jump to try but I didn't look back x good luck x

My DD is 20 months and we've just started trying. If I got pregnant now the youngest she'd be was 2.5yrs which we think is a good age. Also meand when mat leave finishes, her 30 hrs childcare kick in so won't be paying two lots of nursery fees! Didnt want to leave it any longer incase we got too used to the calm of no nappies etc, and also we have 10yr gaps with our siblings so wanted them much closer in age