Early test or chemical

[PersephoneP]

Hello everyone
This is my first post on Mumsnet so please let me know if I've put it in the wrong place, or if there is a better place for me to get this question answered.

Actually tbh I don't have a question. I'm looking for support.

I have an 18 month old baby who came as a rainbow after 2 miscarriages, and in September I had a chemical. After that I told my husband no more TTC. I've had enough. I'm 41 and I just feel I've been on the rollercoaster long enough. Started TTC when I was 34.

Last 2 weeks we were on holiday and... the sunshine...the pool...I don't know what it was, but I was less strict than I should have been. My cycle has been a reliable 4 weeks since the chemical, and on that timeline we did the deed only a couple of days before my period. Then we did it again a week later.

I've just had a weird feeling since then that I could be pregnant. The problem is, that weird feeling isn't so reliable when you've been on the rollercoaster as long as I have. I have weird feelings all the time lol.

Today I lost my patience and took an early response. According to my dates, I thought I must be at least 14dpo by now IF there was any danger of that intercourse having been mistimed.

There's a really faint line.

Looked at my dates again, realise it's possible I'm 7dpo.

Cue total insanity.

If 14dpo then this is surely another chemical. I used strong urine, second of the day which is always better for me.

If 7dpo then I am still in the early hell of having potentially spotted a non viable pregnancy too soon and all the anxiety and worry of that waaaaaay before I want or need it.

I don't want to tell my husband at this point. I just don't want him to get excited for nothing. I feel so strange and ambivalent about it myself. It's hard to feel either excited or anxious when 3 out of the 4 pregnancies you've had have already failed. This would be my fifth, and I have one child. So I know my odds are low.

I just wish I hadn't taken the darn test.

And I wish I had the courage and willpower to resist taking more tests until at least Friday of this week. Because I know it's so pointless until then. But First responses were 2 for 1...………….

Please. Someone. Give me a way to stop POAS for the next gazillion days...………

Is there a way to attach photos on here? Or is that not the done thing...?

Hi Op
I’m sorry for all your losses, I don’t have much advice to give and I’m sure someone will come along soon to offer a better solution for you. However I didn’t want to read and run.

I guess it’s only normal to worry and anyone telling you not to stress isn’t going to help. All I can say is try and hold off testing again at least until the weekend, by then your line should hopefully be darker and you may be able to judge clearer.

We all have line eyes so feel free to post and see if anyone can relate!

Good luck and I really hope it’s a real BFP x

Hi AllHope
thanks so much for replying! You are so right about waiting until the weekend. I have 2 tests left. I really hope I can save them until then, it's such a waste of money otherwise. My suspicion is that I'm 14dpo and the line will get more faint, and/or my AF will come. I have a history of very bad willpower when it comes to POAS. My first MC was a missed one, and I really wasn't expecting it until getting told at 12 week scan, so I feel like that set me on a bad path of over-monitoring the early stages.

Course I already did a second test, just to see if I was having line eye myself... there's a similarly very faint line, which tells me I'm not imagining it completely, but has also demonstrated my complete lack of self control when it comes to weeing on sticks. My dog has a similar thing in the park. But for different reasons.

@persephonep I honestly understand your frustration in wanting to retest and having them sitting there in their little box is huge temptation.

The only thing I can say in way of support is try to hold off on disappointing yourself. Not because it may be a chemical or negative but because you really won’t get much darker until your arrival date of AF.

It could bring so much more angst to you if you unfortunately aren’t pregnant, it’s like watching it progress into bad news.

I’m not saying that to upset you but to help you not retest until the right time. I really do hope the lines will be darker and imagine how you will feel if you wait and see undoubtedly that it is in fact BFP

Please don’t make yourself suffer just yet, because if it is a chemical then it will just make it even more upsetting. Just pretend (I know it’s hard!) that you haven’t tested yet and wait until AF is due.

I know that was long winded, I don’t even know where I was going with it 😂 but I hope I helped x

It really helped :) Thank you. I KNOW you are right. I guess waiting will also increase the pain if I test on Friday and it's NOT much darker, but at least it will be a really clear answer.

The problem is I really don't know when AF is due. I strongly suspect it should already have come and is late, which makes me worry that this is already a chemical.

I honestly just wish I hadn't taken the test to begin with!!! I tried so hard to be patient, but time just warps into this weird thing when it comes to TTC. 2 weeks becomes forever. I genuinely believed it was longer than 2 weeks. Then I check my calendar. It's either 14 OR 7 days. So really I should wait another 7 days. But what are the chances of that???

Anyway. I will try and check back in here on Friday and update.

Also note that I am not even meant to be TTC. In my head I actually believed I didn't want to TTC any more. But it turns out it is in the back of my mind the whole time. Crazy.

We are strange creatures us women and we are also our own worst enemies!

That is the thing because you have already tested no matter what know it will be an horrendous wait and could potentially cause you upset either way.

Just keep in mind that you won’t get a clear answer again just yet and don’t look at it as the TWW it’s only until Friday just a few days away and then you can decide from there.

My fingers are well and truly crossed for you 🤞

I have everything crossed for you that you get the result you want.

You can attach photos using the paperclip, however if you're new the. You need to wait 48 hours x

Michellebops thank you! I thought I was going crazy not able to work out how to add pics!! Thanks for the good wishes too. Going to try and be strong tomorrow.

@PersephoneP
I had a chemical last month so I understand your fears of the early test (not that I could stop myself either) sorry for your losses 💕

When actually was your last period? If it's been a 28 day cycle then on cd 28 you should be approx 14dpo, it is possibly if you have fertile Cm for the sperm to stay alive in you for I think 5/6 days sonif you had sex a week after your period that means you could possibly still get pregnant but you still would ov until around cd 14 ish (hope that makes sense)

If you are 7dpo that is really early to have a positive and you probably wouldn't have implanted yet, but from what you've said if about 4 weeks after your last period it could be the right timing.

Try not to worry about a chemical right now. If you have a faint line 2-3 days should be long enough to see a darker line when you retest as the hcg doubles every day. Don't worry that it's faint there are people who don't even get a hint of a positive til after af is due it depends on when you implanted and the amount of hcg and every pregnancy is different.

If I were you as it is agony waiting and if you are sure you already have a faint line I'd test again tomorrow or Thursday (don't torture yourself waiting for the weekend) if it's still there that's a good sign and due to your history I'd book to see you dr and ask for the blood test to check levels and that they are rising that is the only way to be sure. 🤞🏻💕

Hello Abby, thanks so much for your kind words. The problem is I actually can't remember when my last period was. I've been wracking my brains. My cycle is traditionally a VERY long 6 weeks, agony when you are TTC. When I had my baby 18 months ago it took about a month to return and from then has been about every 4 weeks, very heavy. Except, weirdly, for the chemical cycle where my period was quite light! Go figure! Last couple have also been a bit back to normal.

Anyway, it is possible that this was a 6 week cycle, as that would be my 'normal' cycle length, although not that likely since I haven't had a 6 weeker since TTC my 1st.

What I know is that I was annoyed because I was expecting my period to come while I was on holiday. Then it didn't. But it can't have been late at that point due to pregnancy because we hadn't had sex for a while (see above re. 18 month old baby lol).

So the cycle was longer than usual regardless. But I just don't know if it was a 5 weeker or a 6 weeker.

All i can do is wait.

This morning I have managed to resist testing. If I CAN hold out till Friday, I will, just because i feel like that will make me sure either way. If it's still as faint then I will know it was just a chemical on its way out. And if it's darker, then I will enter the crazy zone of POAS sixty three times a day to find out if it will progress.

@PersephoneP are you able to post your photo yet?

No! So frustrating! Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to post photos of both yesterday's test and maybe I'll do one first thing tomorrow just to see.

Fingers crossed for you

Hey everyone, just to update because I hate when these threads just go dark.

My period came this afternoon. As it turns out - looking at my dates again- I reckon it's pretty much on time, so I'm frustrated that I ever even took a test. I should have just been more patient and saved myself this rollercoaster.

Vowing never ever to do an early test ever again. There is just NO point!!!

Just for reference here are the pics which I was unable to post before of my v v v v faint BFPs. First two are the first day I tested, the third is today (2 days later) when it was almost invisible.

So sorry.

I don't test early either.

Good luck for next cycle ❤️