TTC Blues

[slb1985]

So, this is cycle 10 but we've been trying since last year (we've missed a couple of months due illness and travel commitments) its been BFNs the whole way and I'm getting really down with everything and wondering if it is ever going to happen for us.

I keep thinking maybe there is something wrong with me… I'm 34, BMI 27, I had a termination when I was a teenager... maybe those factors are making it harder... or maybe its him.. idk. I'm sick of wondering and I'm tiered of feeling like I'm putting my life on hold. We've agreed to go and speak to our GP this month and ask for a referral.

I know that it’s normal for it to take up to a year, sometimes longer but it feels like the whole world is getting pregnant really easily and I'm panicking that I'm getting older and life is passing me by.

I really want to feel more positive. I'm on CD4 right now and plan on really working on my health this month (got some lovely new trainers to motivate myself!) but I woke up today and just wanted to cry because it all feels so hopeless.

Hi @slb1985

I’m sorry you are feeling this way the whole process really sucks - it really can feel like you are surrounded by babies all the time.

As you say it can take up to a year before they will start looking. At the moment you are not there so that’s a good thing. Hopefully the doctor should be able to calm your fears on your health queries.

Try today to make a list of things you are going to do to focus on that will benefit you now but also could be beneficial for preparing.

Ie

• take some walks/runs in your new trainers - could you try for a 5/10k
• work on saving money to get a bit behind you
• is there something round the house you’d like to do? Clear out the kitchen cupboards/cull on your wardrobe
• plan a nice date night
• watch your favourite films
• make a happy playlist

It’s really hard not to let this be your EVERYTHING (i know) so try to find some distractions to break it up

Hi @slb1985 👋🏻
Your post sounds so similar to Me, we too have been trying for 10 Months - Last Month we finally got our BFP which ended in an very early miscarriage at 7 weeks
I've just turned 35 and (in the Doctors words) a Healthy weight, lead an active lifestyle and I try my best to maintain a positive outlook but the whole situation is really becoming a struggle. 4 of my closest friends have announced their pregnancies in the past Month, all of who knew we were trying so now it all feels very awkward in our circle.
Do you test your ovulation or temp at all? xx

@poptypingchef Thats some really good advice, thank you. There is more to life than this, so helpful to remember to not let this be my everything. I really don't want the whole TTC thing to be the only thing I think about... I'm aiming to get out for a few runs this week while the weather is nice, perhaps start planning a holiday this weekend. Gotta stay positive xx

@WhamBamThankyouHam so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It's so hard to stay positive and upbeat, particularly when it seems to happen really easily for some. And it's hard to know how to be when people are announcing around you, particularly when it's four of your close friends. Yes I do ovulation strips to chart when its time, I tried temp checking but I think you need to be really consistent in your habits for it to work well. Do you do both? I also take folic acid, have thought about pregnacare vitamins but I've also been told they aren't really nessary xx

Hi @slb1985

Just to say I feel I’m in a very similar position to you - 34, ttc # 1, been trying for 8 months. I also feel - sometimes - exactly as you do! It’s really really hard and I just wanted to say I think it’s normal to feel like this.

I sometimes catastrophise about not getting pregnant and end up panicking about worse case scenario - it’s much easier said than done but I’ve realised all that does is make me feel bad and doesn’t affect the outcome at all so all the worrying and stress amounts to nothing!

I’ve definitely found that planning holidays etc makes you feel a bit more normal and in control rather than putting your life on hold and helps you take your mind off things.

Is also helped me to realise that sometimes my hormones are making me feel worse - on my period and approaching my period I feel really upset and down, and in the middle of my cycle I’m always more upbeat!

I’ve had some blood tests done and in some ways it hasn’t helped and I wish I had waited until a year! My doctor says they are normal but my testosterone is very high and my FSH potentially suggested low ovarian reserve...it just makes your mind spin! I’m having an ultrasound next month to see if they can see anything wrong.

I hope you feel better and take some time to do something nice for yourself.