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IVF WITH DONOR EGGS....PLEASE HELP!

44 replies

tempi · 26/07/2007 22:12

I am about to start IVF with known donor eggs in 2 weeks time......can anyone tell me about their experience.....not sure what to expect...just wanting to hear something positive!!!!This is our last chance.

We have had 3 miscarriages and I am over 40yrs....they tell me it is due to the age of my eggs as all tests on me and my DP are normal.

Any info or advice welcome.

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onlyjoking9329 · 28/07/2007 21:48

you didn't offend me, i am not easily offended, i have three kids

Budababe · 28/07/2007 21:49

Thanks Rosy - that is reassuring and sort of what I hoped would be the case. It makes sense that if you carry and nurture a baby for nine months that there would be some of you in the mix!

RosyBelle · 28/07/2007 22:05

Onlyjoking... LOL... thats good... I bet 3 keep you busy... I always wanted 4 but it looks like we are sticking with 1...

Budababe - pleased I am making sense (makes a change . Sis-in-law & DD are definately alike... and its not mentioned now. She says its best thing she ever did... also lady I work with just had a DD from DE after lots of miscarriages and is 46...

tempi · 29/07/2007 10:52

thanks everyone for being so positive.....I am thinking of starting an august IVF thread?? what do you think?

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Budababe · 29/07/2007 11:25

Go for it!

I won't be ready by then as am going away for 2 weeks but will pop in to support you.

(I need to shift some weight too before I do anything - starting that tomorrow)

Expedite · 29/07/2007 11:54

tempi, I am the husband!

We had two failed IVF cycles with my wife's own eggs, but she responded very poorly to the stimulation. This was most likely due to her age we were told as she was 40 at the time. We then had a cycle using donor eggs and she was pregnant with twins. She sadly lost one of them at around 12 weeks, but the other survived.

She had stopped work before the first IVF cycle. Clearly there is nothing to say you must have time off before or after and many women don't. However, you do need an understanding employer because you spend a LOT of time back and forth to the hospital. Between starting the process and giving birth my wife had been to 6 different hospitals a total of 60 times and been seen by 16 different doctors. 150 injections. And so on. I should explain that more than half of those 60 hospital visits were during the pregnancy, rather than the conception phase. I don't think it paints a reasonable picture to say it doesn't matter how old you are if you're using donor eggs. It might not matter for the conception but it does make a difference to the likelihood of complications during the pregnancy and birth. It did for us. 60 visits doesn't even paint an accurate picture - some of them (towards the end of the pregnancy) were 2 weeks long!!!

You mentioned spending 50,000 on your donor cycle. Presumably this is either a typo or you're doing it in the USA? If it isn't a typo you could consider places like South Africa, which is where we ended up due to the ridiculous laws concerning egg donation in the UK. It's also cheaper and we had a far more pleasant experience than at the Lister hospital in London, despite it being one of the more expensive UK options.

Beetroot · 29/07/2007 12:35

50,000 pounds?

tempi · 29/07/2007 13:54

expedite! beetroot

I meant £5000 !!!!!!!

thats my fault.....sorry!

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tempi · 29/07/2007 14:34

expedite thank you so much for your detailed reply and so so sorry about loosing one of your twins, that it very sad.

I am surprised to here about all the hospital visits especially after conception! they didn't even mention this to us!..... hope you don't mind me asking ..... but what complications can an older woman get with IVF from DE.... are you meaning things like high blood pressure or dysfunctional placenta????

I just presumed that because the pregnancy is with a younger and more healthier egg.... then this provides a good base for the pregnancy???? shows how thick I am!

I do have a very understanding and supportive employer and so I am lucky in that respect and I work about 3 miles from the treating hospital, so I can be very flexible, obviously within reason!

My sister asked me if I was going to have the 2 weeks off work after the transfer of the embryo and waiting for pregnancy confirmation? I said I didn't think so (I had 8 weeks off last summer and I miscarried at 11 weeks...)I just think if you are going to miscarry.....sitting around resting is going to make no difference at all, if that's what is going to happen cos things are not right.

how old is your baby now? and was it all worth it?

PLEASE FEEL FREE FOR ANYONE TO DISAGREE!

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DutchOma · 29/07/2007 19:56

Tempi, I'm very pleased to pray for you and I'm sure others would too. Maybe you would like to have a look at this thread here so others know a bit about you too. Let us know when to pray especially.
Onlyjoking, thanks for posting on the prayer thread too, you and your dh are much in my mind. Hope he soon feels better. How do the children feel about it all? Can they make any sense out of it?
Blessings for you all

RosyBelle · 29/07/2007 19:58

Hi Tempi

I am sure Expedite is right about some things.. having just been through 2 ivf cycles myself I know the visits to clinics can mount up...
I don't know what complications of pregnancy your wife had Expedite but can I just say that problems in pregnancy are not reserved for older ladies.. if you get pregnant at any age you risk the roller coaster ride of the pregnant lady.
I was 31 when pregnant with my daughter... I had been rushed to hosp by ambulance by 12 weeks as had vomitted blood. I had Hypermesis Gravidarum - the sickness condition associated with some pregnancies. I was off work for all of the 9 months. I developed Pre Eclampsia at 28 weeks and spent the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy in hospital before my DD was removed by C section... I had a rough time but I would not change this for the world as she is the best thing that ever happened to me... don't let this put anyone off... trust me it is worth it... whether you are 30 or 40 or more.

I could do it all over again and have spent 3 yrs trying to.... Yes the hosp visits mount up but this can happen if you are 20, 30 or 40... your age means nothing when complications arise.. (in my opinion).

My sisters friend is pregnant and is 18 yrs old... her baby has a cleft pallet and believe me she has spent alot of time in hosp already.
Things happen... we deal with it... and its worth every moment when you hold them to you...

Please don't let the treatment you may or may not have to receive after you conceive deter you from something you want to do...
R
xx

Expedite · 29/07/2007 20:51

Rosybelle, I was only talking about age because that is what tempi was asking about. I certainly am not suggesting that she or anyone else not try or that only older women have problems.

Being old, having IVF, or egg donation, or anything else, doesn't mean you're destined to need a lot of hospital care after the conception. Many women have completely "normal" pregnancies after the various forms of assisted conception - a couple of scans, a few blood pressure checks and that's pretty much it. However, the risks of certain complications which may require increased hospital care are increased with IVF, with egg donation and with age.

I don't think any of the fertility doctors that I've spoken to have suggested that it's necessary to do nothing for the two weeks after the implantation, so do whatever you're comfortable with.

Our baby had to be born prematurely and I have to say that the consequences of that made the conception and pre-birth complications seem like a walk in the park.

Your other question, was it worth it? Of course. Most definitely. Our son isn't quite completely healthy yet, but is thriving and in all likelihood will have no long term ill effects. He is truly gorgeous and amazing to us.

I have written up our entire experience in some detail; if you'd find it helpful you're welcome to read it, but it's very long and wouldn't want to bore you with it!

tempi · 29/07/2007 22:17

Rosybelle...you certainly did go through it!

Thank you so much for being so positive! my thoughts and emotions are racing right now.....SHIT is this the right thing to do....am I compromising my health and my future baby's health?????

Expedite...thank you for your honesty......you too have 'gone trough the mill'.....I am so glad your little boy is a joy to you both.

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tempi · 29/07/2007 22:22

dutchoma....you are so kind and thoughtful, I have prayed so many times particularly over the last 3 years. We have lost 3 babies and we know that its gods way of letting us know that things were not right.............We start our drugs on the 15/8/7 and tranfer will be around 10/9/8...will visit the other thread.

Thanks again.

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tempi · 31/07/2007 18:53

looks like this thread has come to an end.....we have tranfered onto the 'calling all girls due to start IVF in August' thread......see you on there!

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JillJ72 · 31/07/2007 19:50

As someone who is tentatively thinking about becoming a donor whilst doing IVF ourselves, this thread has been really interesting.

Elibean · 02/08/2007 16:25

Good luck Tempi, and Budababe, if you go for it

I have two beautiful, gorgeous dds via egg donation, and couldn't be happier. I had four miscarriages, including one using DE - finally carried both dds after having a consultation with a m/c specialist who put me on steroids and heparin.

Its quite a journey! I've found the DCNetwork a great resource, I think their website is at www.dcnetwork.org if anyone wants to check it out.

Wishing you well with the rollercoaster of conception, hope it ends with a BFP first time

tempi · 02/08/2007 19:43

Thanks elibean!

jillj72...come on over to the ivf for august thread!

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