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Conception

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Original poster

I'm being ridiculous

18 replies

Evanlly · 30/06/2019 09:18

I'm being ridiculous to even hope, aren't I?

TTC for three years now.

DH and I have both been diagnosed with fertility issues. IVF was offered but our specialist advised against it with our particular set and combination of issues. After looking at all the research and statistics, we agreed.

So we've come to terms with being infertile and have been trying to find a new normal, looking toward moving, booking a holiday and planning a different life.

It's been a really busy/emotional month, I started a new volunteer job, we fostered a high energy dog and she found a forever home, I've had a couple of evenings out...anyway, DH and I were only intimate once.

As we've given up TTC I haven't tracked my cycle but I've just realised we definitely DTD around ovulation. I was due on yesterday (not unusual to be a day or two late though) and have had none of my normal PMS symptoms (chocolate cravings, slight mood swings).

Only, I'm very bloody tired. I never nap but I've slept for an hour every afternoon for the past few days. I feel I could sleep and sleep. My bladder is infamous for it's ability to hold pee but I was up twice last night.

My period will absolutely arrive any minute and I'll hate myself for even hoping a tiny bit. Tell me I'm being ridiculous.

OP posts:
minmooch · 30/06/2019 09:30

Not ridiculous to hope. Take a test and then you will know. Big hugs - I hope it's a result that you are either happy with or can accept.

MairzyDoats · 30/06/2019 09:33

I don't know... If its normal to be a couple of days late then you might just be late. So bloody hard, but try not to think about it if you can for now. But am hoping for you anyway!

Original poster
Evanlly · 30/06/2019 09:38

I know it's stupid, but emotionally I really can't test.

After years of plopping that stick into a pit of morning pee, month after month after month, and only having that one line appear, I haven't got any resillience left for it!

My period will arrive. Any minute.

OP posts:
Gustavo1 · 30/06/2019 09:41

I’m sorry that things have been hard for you. If you can bear it, give it a week. If you test now, you could get a “squinter” that won’t get you any closer to an answer.
Try not to lose hope Flowers

Original poster
Evanlly · 30/06/2019 09:42

If its normal to be a couple of days late then you might just be late

Exactly! It's usually 28-29 days (currently day 31) but I have had a random 33 day cycle once (oh the tests I went through that month...)

Hope is painful.

OP posts:
EL8888 · 30/06/2019 09:46

You’re not ridiculous and l can see why you want to hope. But l know that feeling when periods arrive is crushing. Thinking of you x

Greenolivesorblackolives · 30/06/2019 09:46

You’re not being ridiculous.
Sorry for all you’ve been through.
I wouldn’t test just yet. Give it a week.

chocolatesparkles · 30/06/2019 09:48

Your not being silly by hoping. Easier said than done but try and not think about it for a few more days then take a test if still no period by next weekend. Or could you POAS and ask DP to look if you can't and want to test sooner?

eighteenandaching · 30/06/2019 09:48

I think, in your position and from what you said, I'd try to forget about it. If you are pregnant, it'll become evident. If not, then life is as it was last week (which sounds pretty great).

Going forward I'm not sure I would track my cycle. Roughly work out period dates and mark the week in your diary.

ChikiTIKI · 30/06/2019 09:51

Hope is such a powerful thing. I think it's logical to consider pregnancy as a possibility since your period is late now. I can see why you don't want to test though.

Maybe leave it a week or two and then test if still no AF? If you're still very tired by then (and maybe even have some other symptoms too), I think it would be a good idea to test at that point.

Sorry for everything you've been through with your fertility. I hope you get some happy news xxxx

Original poster
Evanlly · 30/06/2019 09:52

I think, in your position and from what you said, I'd try to forget about it.

I feel that's the best way forward. I wish I could switch 'off' to it know I know we're infertile, but even knowing there's 0000000.1% of a chance I still find a part of me never stops hoping.

Thanks everyone Flowers

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 30/06/2019 10:32

Hope is painful. I don't think you're being ridiculous, like you say you can't just switch off to the possibility. I'm hoping this is your miracle 🤞 best wishes for happy news xx

eighteenandaching · 30/06/2019 11:01

If hoping is the hardest bit, and you can't forget about it, can you tolerate doing a test and suffering the pain?

chocolatesparkles · 03/07/2019 19:19

Hi Op. just wanted to check in and see how you were doing? Hope your ok?

Original poster
Evanlly · 03/07/2019 20:03

That's really kind, sadly I was indeed being very ridiculous/stupid and I was just a few days late.

I'm glad I didn't test, I'd have just added another negative test to the collection.

Going to have to face up to the fact I am very much infertile.

:(

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 03/07/2019 21:00

Flowers @Evanlly

happychange · 03/07/2019 21:04

ThanksCakeGin
So sorry to hear op x

ChikiTIKI · 03/07/2019 21:55

I'm sorry @Evanlly xxxx

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