Tips for staying sane TTC

[Bananaloaf88]

Hi,

I'm currently on my first cycle of properly TTC and can already feel myself being pulled into an obsession with symptom spotting etc, etc!

I'm one of those people that when I decide I want something it can become a bit of an obsession, and seriously need some tips on how to stay sane when TTC as I am very realistic in the fact that it could be a long journey.

I'm the same! When I decide I want to do something I plan it to death and then it usually always goes to plan. So when we had no luck first cycle I couldn't get my head round the fact that it didn't happen!! I had every symptom going from what I could tell, but it ended up being nothing 😂 so used to being in control and being a competitive high-achiever so I hate to 'fail'!!

It is way way easier this cycle (#2) because the pressure of the 'first cycle success' is gone and so I'm not really thinking about it as much.

I would just let yourself obsess this time round - it's all new and very exciting! So it should rightfully take up all of your thoughts and sanity 😂😂😂 what stage in your cycle are you?

Currently 12 dpo. According to Ovia I should have expected AF yesterday, however I'm not back to being regular after the mini-pill.

I'm so glad someone else feels the same way! I love lists and plans, and have googled everything about ttc and symptoms 😂.

My theory is that if it doesn't happen this cycle I will learn not to get too over excited about every little sign. With hope i'll maybe also grow some patience.

Oh gosh me too.

I've convinced myself that if I don't conceive on this first cycle, then I NEVER will. Which is nonsense, really.

Planning to test on July 1st, a couple of days before AF is due. Meanwhile, working from home and symptom spotting like a mad-woman.

Yep you both sound like me 😂😂 to be fair my original plan was to start TTC at the end of May at the earliest with the ultimate aim for an April 2020 baby, so still technically going to plan at the moment hahah but I got so caught up in Cycle 1 that I just wanted to succeed first time!!!!

@Bananaloaf88 you dont have too long to wait at all then!! You are well through the TWW. How are you feeling and when are you planning on testing?

@Bezalelle fingers crossed for a BFP - hopefully this week goes quick for you!

I could have written this myself @Bananaloaf88 ! Now TTC after a revent MMC so no idea when ovulation will be/was and sworn to myself not to test until 6th July because I know right now is too early. I've found that I do tests even though I know they'll be negative but still get sad when they are.

I think we should start a group to keep ourselves sane!

I’m TTC too and I’m no expert but some things that work for me sometimes. First planning things so you have something to work towards / look forward to other than just your BFP. For example I’m doing yoga and pilates and I feel I’m getting into better shape emotionally and physically. I’ve planned something nice for our wedding anniversary next month. I got a massage last week once I knew I wasn’t pregnant.

Also, wanting a child is such a driving desire but most of us have lots of good in our lives already and I think we could enjoy and appreciate those things more rather than essentially wishing away what could be months or years spent TTC (it could also happen quickly of course).

My first child was stillborn earlier this year and I’m devastated but it has also taught me that life is so fragile and I appreciate more what and who I do have.

Exercise (gym / yoga / a walk) helps keep me calm.

Another way of looking at it is if you do conceive soon then you’ll be pregnant soon and then have a child so make the most of the time you have now to do things you won’t be able to do then.

@AliceRR that is brilliant advice - thank you. Good to have stuff to look forward to, and to put things into perspective.

So sorry to hear about your loss.

Thanks @Bezalelle Its so hard not to symptom spot. My first cycle trying I convinced myself I was pregnant and was a bit disappointed when I wasn’t. This month is my third cycle trying and I’m in the 2WW now. I hope you get your BFP soon!

@SLT90 I was going to test today, but AF appeared this morning! I feel okay about it, better than I thought I would at least! I can enjoy a glass of wine this weekend at least 😃 & then back on it.

@AliceRR Excellent advice. I'm so sorry to hear about your stillborn. You're right sometimes we need to stop and smell the daisies! ❤️

@Bananaloaf88
Oh no, at least that saved you wasting a test! That is the first cycle out of the way and you can now start fresh on CD1. I've found this cycle quicker than the last one for some reason. Best to just keep busy and enjoy the wine while you can ☺️☺️

I have no problems in the enjoying wine department 😂

Track as little as possible. If you're below 35, have a regular cycle and no reason to believe you have fertility problems consider not jumping straight into temping, charting and peeing on everything and just have sex around the middle of your cycle.

Have sex for fun. Don't make it all about babies and don't force it when neither of you really want it unless you want to suck all the joy out of your sex life for good. Have sex at times when you definitely aren't fertile as well.

Don't test early. Try not to test until your period is actually due, or better yet late.

Don't put your life on hold. Keep planning as though you won't be pregnant any time soon. Put things in your diary that are fun and that have nothing to do with pregnancy, like going out with your friends.

Thanks @Bananaloaf88

Sorry @BezalelleI mixed up your posts either OPs in my reply (re symptom spotting etc)

@CmdrCressidaDuck good advice, I am going to try and take that on board. However my personality traits probably won't let me follow all of your advice I love to plan 😂🙈

I'm 31 and already know 4 couples my age who have taken two years to conceive, two of those have required IVF. So it does worry me a bit.