Thinking about DC2 when DC1 is a terrible sleeper

[Viento]

AIBU thinking about ttc DC2 when our 15 month old wakes up multiple times at night and asleeps being held and sleeps half of the night in our bed? I worry about being pregnant and cosleeping safety and also for being so tired and pregnant as it may not be good for my or babys health...
Anyone in the same situation?

My DC is 3 and is still a terrible sleeper - apparently I was for my parents until I was 5! I wouldn't put it off - we re experiencing terrible secondary infertility and now I wish we'd started trying as soon as I had the all clear after DC birth!

Thank you so much for your comment itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted ! I am concerned about secondary infertility too. I had mmc before we conceived our DS, and since then the fear of it never leaves me. My hormones work weirdly too.

Any suggestions on co sleeping and being pregnant with DS2, do you think it is dangerous? The only alternative would be to pick up DS and put down in the cot every time he wakes at night (we did try different sleep training techniques and nothing helped). I am still recovering from moderate prolapse from the last pregnancy and I also have osteoporosis hence co sleeping was the best possible way to deal with frequent waking.

And I am sincerely wishing you the best luck with ttc!

By the time you are pregnant I should think your first would be big enough that co-sleeping would be fine, even if you are very tired or a bigger size?

I had a Mmc before DC - I thought that was bad but secondary infertility is worse - you have a daily reminder running around of what you have lost

I used a Chico next to me with DC so would use that if we have another baby and DC is still in bed with us!

Sleep could well change over the course of your pregnancy, they might be sleeping just fine by the time #2 comes along. Or they could be awful for longer than you want to put off ttc! I wouldn’t wait if that’s the only reason.

Cosleeping with. 2 year old is very different from cosleeping with a tiny one. There’s no risk of you squashing them or overheating them, they will shove you off with no compunctions!

Still cosleeping with my DD at 2.5, although intending to cut that out in the next couple of months. Sleep does get better eventually!

Thank you all for your comments that is so helpful!

Yeah I could imagine the secondary infertility being much worse and scary than mmc and I wish good luck with ttc itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted

The bedside cot for a baby is a good idea thank you!

Thank you PragmaticWench and crazychemist for reassuring me re safety for my DS while co sleeping with me being pregnant.

What about safety for the growing bump? My little boy is very wiggly and often slaps or kicks me at night (to be honest during nappy changing, bedtime, when is frustrated too ) Can a toddler potentially unintentionally hurt the pregnant bump?

Not likely, the reason bumps are so much bigger than babies is that there is as much amniotic fluid as there is baby (generally), so he has a nice big cushion. The uterus wall is very thick as well, so that will also cushion from bumps. It would have to be a REALLY hard kick to be a problem. Look at how many people have a second child when they still have a toddler - if the odd knock caused problems nobody would ever manage to have a second kid!

I have used bump to mean two different things I.e. your bump, and having a knock. Sorry if that is confusing!

@crazychemist thank you so much, very sensible and reassuring!

Thank you all for your support!

You could always sleep-train your first child.