Is there something wrong with me? TTC -

[Amy5151000]

Im a little bit disheartened after getting my period this month.. I am so worried about my ability to have children.

I was on the pill for 6/7 years, I came off last September and started having regular sex since October - with one partner - VERY often.

No baby was happening, i was just having regular periods, always on time.

Then from January to April i had irregular periods, kept throwing me off making me think I was pregnant, then May I fell pregnant which I found funny since it was the one month I had sex the least! Only 3 times!!!

Unfortunately I lost the baby a week after finding out at 5 weeks.

Tried again straight away, we had sex Every day for a week and a half, then every few days for the last couple of weeks, my period was late bit still came.

I have always had painful bowl movements when I get my period, I told my doctor and she first wanted to test me for endometriosis - I had a ultra sound scan done and my womb, overies and pelvic area were fine!

She wouldnt do any more tests as thats when I fell pregnant.

I am just worried that theres something wrong with me, I feel like I have sex alot and I just dont seem to get pregnant, is it to do with the pill? Am i not ovulating? I get ovulation symptoms with the discharge.

I asked my doctor but because we did manage to conceive the once, she wont do anything for another year...

Please tell me that others have had something similar, or taken the same amount of time to conceive after actively trying!

@Amy5151000 really sorry to hear that you're having a tough time and so sorry for your loss. I haven't been trying for long but also had a loss at about 5 weeks last month.

Do you track ovulation in anyway (other than the apps?)

Sadly there is only a 25% chance each month even if everything is great and times perfectly. And of those apparently 25% end in early miscarriage like ours did, seems such slim chances that I'm surprised anyone manages to get pregnant by accident.

I'm sorry I can't help more with your particular situation but I'm here if you need or want to talk and will help if I can 💐

Tracking ovulation might be a good place to start (check you are getting busy at the optimum times and also confirm you are actually ovulating if that is a concern) also helps you know when you are due af as it's usually 14 days after ovulation which might help avoid some of the disappointment from a late af.

Are you still concerned about endometriosis or more about ability to conceive? (You should still be able to get drs help with endo regardless of pregnancy happening)

Also I know this is so easy to say and near impossible to do but try not to stress as that can have an impact as well

🤞🏻 and sending you hugs and luck x

Hello!!

I never knew those odds :(

I track using an app but brought strips to try for this cycle to see if my app is actually accurate for me, i am also trying that special lube that is meant to help the sperm reach the egg easier.

I was going to have key whole surgery to check for endometriosis but because I conceived i was told the wont do it until i have not got pregnant again for another year, as its very unlikely i have it since i did manage to conceive.

I am hoping they are right and there is nothing wrong and i am either just having sex at the wrong time or unlucky, i was thinking of asking my partner to maybe get his stuff checked

Hiya sorry for your loss, I lost a baby at a similar gestation last year it really is awful when you want it so much.

In answer to a few of your other questions, with my first little boy it took about 7 months of perfectly timed dtd to get him. I was using ovulation tests and also temping to make sure I was 1) ovulating and 2) dtd at the optimal time. We followed the sperm meets egg plan as well, it just basically tells you which days to dtd.

The baby I lost also took 8 months to conceive but I did then conceive after that an have a healthy 4mth old DS2 now. I wish you lots of luck for your next try. Your scans are clear is really positive, it's just a case of keeping the faith an keeping going, like the pp said it's such a small chance for anyone to get pregnant on any given month, so just keep trying until you can beat the odds. Your future little one will be worth waiting for xx

"I fell pregnant which I found funny since it was the one month I had sex the least! Only 3 times!!!"

Both times I've fallen pregnant were months we didn't DTD very much.

I've read theories that it's because of better sperm quality as you're letting your partner "recharge" haha.

Also, what is your BMI?

If you're overweight or obese, losing just 10% of your bodyweight can kickstart things apparently.

The month I got pregnant this time, I was reading and following The Fertility Diet book. It's by researchers at the Harvard Medical School, so pretty legit. Based on a ten year study on either hundred or thousands of people I believe. Some of the key takeaways are to swap white carbs for brown, eat more nuts - particularly walnuts, cut transfats right back, swap to decaf for part of the day.

I was also doing a little bit of exercise (walking dogs for extra time, a small bit of stationary bike)

You can find some pdfs summarising the key takeaways of the book online. Otherwise, I got the book on eBay.

Good luck!

@Amy5151000 sad statistics I know, didn't want it to be a negative but wanted you to know it's not as easy as we are led to believe so hang in there unfortunately it can take a while for the stars to align. 🤞🏻 for you!

Can you try and get investigation for endo regardless of pregnancy? Might be worth trying to speak to another dr and say it's not about ability to conceive but just due to the pain etc and see if they will investigate? I know people diagnosed who weren't ttc.

🤞🏻 all is ok and I'm sure it is.

Depending how obsessed you want to get (personally I just like knowing what my body is doing) you can do opks, temp (bbt) and check your Cm to pinpoint ovulation.

The only thing I would add is that the best advice I got is DON'T have sex every day! This from quite a senior doctor. Have regular sex every other day from 5 days before the earliest point of ovulation to 5 days after. Good luck x

I fell pregnant which I found funny since it was the one month I had sex the least! Only 3 times!!!"

That's possibly why you got pregnant. Having sex every day isn't the best way to conceive - every 3 or 4 days is best, so your partner has a chance to make more viable sperm.

I had the same problem - it took me 4 years to conceive and when I did, we'd had no sex at all due to both of us having the flu, except one time when his parents came to stay and we slept in our single spare bed.

It's about sperm quality not how many times you have sex. If u work out when u think u ovalate you can get pregnant. As only had sex once that month and got pregnant . The times I had sex loads to get pregnant it didn't work . Only works when not trying