Big gap between children.. TTC#2!

[ttc19]

Tell me about your big age gaps. DC is currently 5 & we're TTC#2. There's so much negativity around having a big gap but it's what suited us best with regards to PND, Career progression, Financial stability etc. I need to know I'm not the only one!

I’ve got a 5 year gap although not planned.
The best thing was spending one on one time with the baby while the eldest was at school. It meant that I didn’t have to try and divide my attention all the time.
It also meant I could attend baby groups without having to keep an eye out for a toddler!
Now they’re older they have things in common although there were a lot of in between years when they had nothing in common at all!
Families come in many different ways and a bigger age gap isn’t as uncommon as you think. My friend has 10 years between hers!

6 year gap and 8 year gap here. All fine. Youngest had 3 Mums - me and the 2 girls. It was fun for all of us!

Thank you @Chocolatecake12 & @Mishappening! I already feel a lot better

I have a 4.5 year age gap between my first 2. Oldest was in nursery and started school when ds2 was still a baby.

The gap was great as ds2 got (and still gets toddlers, groups etc) but ds1 got lots of my attention too. I am due baby number 3 soon and will have a 2 years 9 month gap between ds2 and baby which is smaller than I would have chosen.

My boys are very close to each other. The only downside is they don’t tend to like the same films and I can’t take them to certain things together due to the she gap.

4.5 years between mine and it’s worked really well. They get on brilliantly, but are two individuals with different interests. No need to compete.

It's so lovely to hear your comments! X

8 year gap between 1 and 2, and 5 year gap between 2 and 3.

Lovely jubbly.

There's pros and cons to both, but I love gaps. There's no way I could do 3 under 5.

Yessss @gluteustothemaximus This is the best! I know for a fact I wouldn't have coped mentally with a toddler and a baby! It wouldn't have been fun for anyone! X

That’s not really big- I thought you were going to say 8/10/12 years

There are always advantages and disadvantages to any age gap. You’ve given Your first your undivided attention and now you’ll have lots of one to one time with number 2 during the school day. Your first will be helpful and also able to amuse themselves to some degree. But they’ll be young enough to be siblings in the everyday way- and they’ll fight!!! Two of mine are 12/13 years apart and still manage to fight! 😂

Definitely. I hear about mum's BF both toddler and new baby and think....

Yes, there's the school run with baby and older child, but actually the routine is good, and then you get the day with the baby before getting the older one again. There seems to be less jealousy with older one/baby, older one can help out more and be the 'big' sister/brother and feel special. No fighting over toys as the toys are too different to fight over.

It's all good. Good luck with TTC x

7 years here. Dc1 is so good with dc2 but they do have their moments. Isadora has explained it perfectly. We found that the hardest thing was trying to find activities that they both enjoy during days out/holidays.

6 year gap between me and my sister. There was hardly ever any competition with each other as we were always at completely different stages. When I went to secondary and she had just left we became really close. She supported me with all the teenage stuff she'd been through already and in the serious hard work world she was entering she loved spending time in my little world, where spots, boys and class presentations were all I had to worry about! I still look up to and learn from her and she enjoys helping me out. I doubt we'd be as close if we'd been close in age.

@Isadora2007 I'm surrounded by friends family who've all had 2 or 3 children under the age of 3.. baby crammers ha ha but it's so nice to see that people actually do have gaps sometimes & bigger ones than I'm hoping we'll have and they're all just fine x

@gluteustothemaximus Thank you! X

@misslucienne I agree, I loved doing all of the baby groups etc before. We love walking and beach days etc so hopefully in the future it'll be fun for all the family x

@callmecrazybut Lovely to hear you're so close and she guided you through your teenage years x

I'm currently TTC #2 after a 6w MC last month.

#1 is 5 in August. Ideally we would have have a slightly smaller gap (if it happens at all) but actually I think it might work out quite well after all and things with kids never goto plan any way 😉

Xx

@pinkoi I'm sorry to hear about your MC. I'm definitely much more apprehensive this time. I think if it doesn't happen then it wasn't meant to be for us but we'll give it some time and see how it goes. It just feels like the right time now. X

10 year age gap here. It's worked out brilliantly for us, I thought DD might have jealously issues with been the only child for so long but she's been amazing, they are 12 and 2 now and they adore each other!

Ive got a 10year gap. DD then DS. They adore each other. They still argue but are still so happy together. Plus oldest is old enough to 'help' out with youngest. Hes so safe with her.

5 isn't a big age gap. There's 12 and 10 years between my sisters and I haha!

This has put my mind at ease I'm currently ttc number 2 and 1st child is almost 10 I was starting to wonder if I'm doing the right thing

I have 11 years between my two. My daughter loves having a baby brother and it is rather like having a fabulous au pair!! They adore each other.

Thank you everyone! I feel much more at ease now.. & not the minority! Now let's hope this TTC goes well! X

Eek - mine would have been just under 16 years (had my son when I was 22). Sadly miscarried in April so if I'm lucky enough to fall pg again it will be over 16 years 😝