I don't think I'm strong enough for TTC

[Geordiebabe85]

Hi everyone,
Bit of background - we've been TTC for almost 2 years. Had a CP about 8 months ago. Had all sorts of tests - DH = fine, but I'm not ovulating every month. Because of the tests we've had 2 months off TTC but we're now ready to start again and I don't think I can.
For the last 2 months it's been lovely not living my life in 2 week blocks, not POASing, not symptom spotting constantly, not timetabling sex. And now we're ready to go again (with the help of Chlomid) and I honestly don't know if i'm strong enough. I always swore I wouldn't become one of those women who cry when they see a baby in the street but i totally have become that woman. And I've even said to DH "sorry, no sex tonight, it's not the right time".
We're both stressed to hell and arguing a lot - i don't know if we're only arguing because we're stressed about it all or if we're just not right together.
I feel like a failure as a woman because I can't do this one natural thing that other women seem to manage to do by accident! Maybe I'm just not meant to be a mum and I should just accept that.

First of all, big hugs. TTC is, for many women, an incredibly stressful period of their lives. And as it's not something that's openly talked about, we often don't know what we're getting ourselves into, what with all the temp taking / schedule sex / symptom obsessing etc! It's a lot to deal with and, if it spirals, it can totally dominate your life.

With regards to your post and what to do going forwards, I think it boils down to whether or not you really, really want your own biological baby. Because if you do, unfortunately you're doing to have to keep on persevering. Of course there are ways to make it better, but ultimately it's still an emotional roller-coaster each month. But if you decide to do it, that's your choice and I think that can be empowering in it's own way.

Equally, you might decide that the impact TTC is having on your life and relationship is not worth it. And if so, there is plenty you can do here too. Perhaps shelve it for a while, take a more relaxed approach, consider adoption etc.

But whatever the weather, please don't feel like a failure. Many, many women struggle with this and it's just not spoken about so it seems like it's 'easy' as their the only stories you hear about.