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Conception

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Original poster

Would you trick hubby into having a 3rd?

56 replies

breathandrelax · 03/06/2019 23:21

We’ve got two kids with 2 year age gaps. Was a hard time for us both with little ones. But now youngest is 2.5 I really want another but he says not yet. I’m tempted to stop taking my pill and leave it to fait but without telling him. Would you?

He wasn’t “ready” for the other two either. Are any men ever ready for kids lol

OP posts:
EmmaGrundyForPM · 04/06/2019 06:24

Absolutely not. That would be an outrageous thing to do.

rwalker · 04/06/2019 06:25

What a vile person you are what the fuck has your dh done to deserve you !!! . How can you possibly think doing this to someone is acceptable disgusting . Half arsed effort to back track not to show your self for what you are.

ukgift2016 · 04/06/2019 06:27

Loads of women do it. You just never admit it out loud.

Look how many women on here get pregnant by 'accident'.

OldUnit · 04/06/2019 06:42

Posts like yours make me wonder if the male pill shouldn't also be a thing so he can control his own destiny instead of entrapment.

Bet you a dairylea triangle you DO do it. Hope he freaks out & leaves you.

CupoTeap · 04/06/2019 06:43

Do you really think he wouldn't figure it out? Once trust is gone that's it.

Biancadelrioisback · 04/06/2019 08:05

Proper cunty. Says a lot about you "lol"

DieCryHate · 04/06/2019 08:19

Absolutely not. We have one child and recently (because of pregnancy difficulties and concerns for my health, not just changing his mind) my husband has said he doesn't think he wants a second baby anymore, which I do. Am I disappointed? Yes. Would I consider tricking him into it? No fucking way I could be that devious to someone I love.

GCAcademic · 04/06/2019 08:22

What an absolutely shitty thing to do to your partner. Do you actually love or have any respect for this bloke, or are you only interested in his sperm?

insancerre · 04/06/2019 08:23

No

RogersVideo · 04/06/2019 08:27

I think lying about using contraception is a pretty awful betrayal to the person who is supposed to be your partner.

But as tiptop said above, you are fully within your rights to come off the pill and tell him he is now responsible for contraception.

Prinstress · 04/06/2019 08:29

Be grateful for what you have. Imagine if your DH was trying to trick you into a pregnancy? Jesus Christ.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 04/06/2019 08:30

Trust is absolutely crucial in any relationship. If this was a man suggesting poking holes in condoms to trick a partner into a pregnancy there'd be a riot. Thankfully most posters on here seem to be sensible.

OP you can't fuck about with contraception to get your own way, it's seedy and deceitful. It could end your relationship if he found out. What then?

Cloudtree · 04/06/2019 08:31

Nope. I have two DSs and would really like another. DH doesn''t want another. As a result we are not having another. It's not solely your decision.

MarthasGinYard · 04/06/2019 08:31

Ugh

If I was him and read this

I'd call it a day with you

tisonlymeagain · 04/06/2019 09:08

Absolutley not. It should always be a joint mutual decision to have a child.

RosaWaiting · 04/06/2019 09:12

this is the sort of thing, if it could be proven, I'd say you should be able to sue for damages for.

the fact you want to do it to your DH, who I suppose you claim you care about, is horrendous.

I hope he finds out what you are really like because it seems sad to be with someone who would something like this.

lucymegan · 04/06/2019 09:16

Hmm I see no problem with it tbh. I stopped taking the pill and it took 9 months to fall. Dh wanted more anyway but didn't know when. J stopped taking it and let nature do its thing. Lots of people fall pregnant by accident I don't see the problem.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 04/06/2019 09:21

Because an accident is just that, not a partner who supposedly loves and respects you deceiving you.

DD and DS2 were happy accidents, with DD my pill failed (I was sick and didn't think anything of it) and with DS2 we got carried away one night before I was back on the pill after DD. Neither conception involved lying to DP. He knew I'd been sick, and that if I fell pregnant we'd keep it. With DS2 we both knew I wasn't on anything took the chance.

Completely and utterly different situations to me stopping all contraception without telling him and conniving to conceive while he assumed I was still taking contraceptives!

If you can't see the difference then I'm stunned.

user87382294757 · 04/06/2019 09:25

My DH wants a third, I don't and know it would strain the family. Can't imagine how I;d feel if he tried to get me pregnant, like that. Grim.

EllieJaye · 04/06/2019 09:43

Don't think it's a good idea. Better to get to the bottom of his doubts and explain your doubts about waiting and come to a decision together - a compromise maybe. Perhaps not now but decide on a point in the future.

My hubby said no after 2 for a while but he came round to the idea eventually!

SleepingStandingUp · 04/06/2019 09:48

Posts like yours make me wonder if the male pill shouldn't also be a thing so he can control his own destiny instead of entrapment condoms.

stopped taking it and let nature do its thing. Lots of people fall pregnant by accident I don't see the problemnot using contraception and having sex doesn't cause accidental pregnancies. It isn't an accident if you do the thing you know causes it.

OP how would you feel if you said no and he put holes in the condoms or replaced your pill with fakes?

Norwayswedeniceland · 04/06/2019 09:50

Loads of women do it. You just never admit it out loud

Look how many women on here get pregnant by 'accident'

I thought the same. I think it’s common but nobody would ever admit to it but if they pass it off as an accident, people are more accepting.
Up to you OP, could you not tell your DH you want to come off the pill for other reasons and see what he says?

autumndreaming · 04/06/2019 10:11

Of course not! It's vile to even suggest such a thing.

Can you imagine if you didn't want another child and your husband lied about having a vasectomy and got you pregnant, deliberately?

Bet you wouldn't be so blasé about that!

daisyboocantoo · 04/06/2019 10:22

Oh yuck.

You cannot do that. That is just horrid.

We discussed my desire for a third, and I explained that I didn't want to be in charge of contraception whilst I felt so broody. I felt it was unfair. So DH assumed responsibility for our contraception. (We did go on to have another child, but it was a mutual decision).

NikolaPiccola · 04/06/2019 12:47

Well imagine roles were reversed; say you were only using condoms and you were not ready for a third baby but still, your husband takes off the condom without you knowing and you find yourself pregnant. Wouldn't you feel disrespected? Especially because you said that you aren't ready?

I suggest talking to him about it and explain the situation; you have long cycles and it would more than likely take a while to conceive. But you have to respect his decision because at the end of the day, it takes two to make a baby.