Advice - fertility

[Daffodil03]

Hello

Apologies if I am in the wrong chat section (this is my first post) but wonder if I could seek some advice / opinions?

I am 31 years old (no dc), myself and DP are happy as we are but would like DC in the future. My concern is that my DA went through the menopause at 32, DM at 36 and I am starting to wonder whether I need to think about this in the future.

We are in no rush ttc now, but equally don't want the opportunity to be taken away from us. I spoke with my GP (female) and explained family history and that I went through puberty at 9. Response from was 'women don't go through the menopause until they are 45 plus so I must be wrong'....felt humiliated and disheartened.

During another routine appointment, I mentioned my concern to another GP and was told that they wouldn't look into fertility issues until my DP and I had been trying for one year.

We don't want to try just yet, but equally feel if we knew roughly whether genetics played an issue then we would change our plans accordingly. I appreciate that I am asking 'how long is a piece of string?' and that it is impossible to look into the future....but is there any tests or means of knowing how many eggs are left in the reserve (if that makes sense)? We are happy to look at private healthcare options, if it provides some sense of direction.

Thank you for any advice :)

Yes there are tests to assess egg reserves. They do this when investigating fertility and ivf etc.

The gp is right that they won’t investigate a fertility issue until one year of trying however a close friend went through the menopause very early and was told to tell her daughter as it can indicate that it would happen to her to. So if I was you (and I’ve had fertility issues) I would be going back until a gp took me seriously

At least they could do is give you the egg count test so you know what you’re working with

Thanks Willow, I just feel a bit deflated with response from GP to date and felt we couldn't push as we aren't actively trying but wanting to assess the likelihood so we could plan accordingly. I don't want to have fertility issues or (like family members) wake up one morning and realise it has all stopped. Thank you for your response :)

This happened to me, I'm mid 30s and think I'm starting perimenopause. History of early menopause on my maternal side. I actually went to donate eggs privately as I didn't think I wanted kids. Had a full physical assessment (and counselling sessions) and they told me I had low ovarian reserve and couldn't donate it was likely that my menopause would begin earlier than average.
My partner and I decided to TTC, I had a number of miscarriages (in very quick succession). I went to my GP armed with the letter from the egg donation clinic/consultant and they fast tracked my referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. As it happens I then conceived and carried to term.
The NHS won't be proactive in checking but the early menopause in your maternal line there is a risk it could happen to you. You know this so the choice is yours to make as to when you begin TTC

Are you able to go for a one off private discussion with an endocrinologist? Might be worth it to make sure there is nothing genetic/familial they should be looking in to for you.

I would be extremely worried given your family history. Private fertility tests aren't expensive - I would request AMH and Antral
Follicle counts are done to assess likely egg reserve - you'll then know whether you need to act quickly or not

For the sake of a couple of hundreds of pounds now versus a life time of heartache and regret in a couple of years time.....
Yes donor eggs are available these Days but you could lose the chance of having a biological child by not acting sooner x

GP here - you're only option at the mo is private. rightly or wrongly, gps won't check ovarian reserve in primary care or refer for fertility 'just in case' before you start trying. I'm not saying ethically thats correct, its just the honest situation.

and i completely sympathise - as I'm struggling with TTC but it hasn't been a year yet and its driving me mad!

If you were 21, I would say 'don't panic.' But at 31 with your history I wouldn't be waiting. If you can afford to have tests done privately then I would do it, then perhaps your GP will
move things on for you depending on the results.

Frankly, I would be telling anyone at your age to be thinking seriously about starting to try, let alone someone with your family history and age at first period.

We decided to start trying for a baby when I was 31 and 4 years later, we are still dealing with infertility. Maybe trying when we were younger wouldn't have made a difference we'll never know.,

In the unfortunate eventuality that you would need assistance or IVF, ideally you want to be in a position to start the process before you're 35 for the best chance of success. And you need to have been trying unsuccessfully for 2 years if you want help on the NHS. Counting backward, that means starting when you're 32.

What is stopping you from trying now? This is rhetorical, I don't need to know. But think about it.

You can have your egg reserve tested privately for around £100. Ask for the AMH blood test

Hi @Daffodil03 - happened to me; menopausal in my early thirties; needed donor egg IVF to conceive (four cycles - very, very expensive and absolutely gruelling and heartbreaking at times . . . )

I echo previous posters and recommend you go private for AMH blood test and an antral follicle count - these combined will give you a good indication of your egg reserve. AMH by itself isn't that reliable as it can fluctuate.

If your egg reserve is low for your age you might opt to freeze some eggs for future use.

If I could turn back the clock, this is what I would have done.