TTC feeling alone

[Idubno]

Hi everyone. First time positing on here and I just feel a little lost.

I have been with my partner for nearly 6 years and we have bought a house together and own two dogs. We have now decided that we would TTC. He is one of two boys and they don't have a large family so he is never around kids. I do love him but he is not very open with his feelings or even with mine some times. I am his first girlfriend. He will be 30 this year and I am 29. My biggest problem with it all is my mother.

My mam is the happiest person when anyone else says they are pregnant or trying to get pregnant and is over the moon always there for advice. My cousin had a hard time trying to convince her second child and she was so supportive telling her everything will work out.

I have recently told her that we are TTC and she just looked at me. Didn't really say anything and just changed the subject. I just feel so alone and it upsets me every time I think of how she is with all my cousins when they were having children but she won't talk to me. I'm just scared

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this, is there any way you can ask your mother why she acted this way? TTC can be very tough, at times it has def tested mine and my husband's relationship, you need all the support you can get.
On here is a great support network but it does help to have people around you.
Can you talk to your husband about how you are feeling? X

To be honest I don't want to ask her why. My mother has never been really loving. Now she will do anything for me but is not able to help with feelings and emotions. She has said on a few occasions that if she would do it all again she wouldn't have any kids. Of course I found this very hurtful so I don't really want to talk to her about it if she is not willing. And I know if I was to become pregnant I wouldn't be excited to tell her. My partner is supportive and will talk about things but is a but clueless why I am so upset and confused. I've spent so long trying not to get pregnant now were TTC. Earlier this year I found out I have CIN1 cells on my cervix and needs to be rechecked next year. She knew how worried I was about waiting for test results and what it could mean for TTC.

I do understand what you are feeling, my mother is exactly the same, not loving at all and wasn't when we was kids, never hugged or kissed us etc. When I was pregnant with my first I told her and she said "oh you're not are you" LOL. She was a great mom just not affectionate.
It was my dad who was loving and I felt close too but he passed away in 2012 before my son was born.

If me and my husband have a row It can feel so lonely not having a mother you can talk too.

I also had abnormal cells in my cervix, they were high grade CIN3 I had to have the skin of my cervix removed and be checked regularly.
This was before I had my son and had no effect on conception. I wouldn't worry about that, they are so advanced now with that sort of thing.
I really hope you manage to catch quickly :-) xxx