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Miscarriage at 16 weeks

6 replies

LauraE81 · 22/05/2019 07:13

Hi ladies. I had a miscarriage last Friday. I was almost 16 weeks. I thought I was safe because I’d passed the magic 12 weeks. My heart is broken in a way I never thought possible. I had a 12 week scan and all looked good, there was a strong heartbeat but my baby wasn’t moving. When I showed my concern about this I was told she could be asleep. Im still concerned that this was the start of my baby dying and was a sign that she was sick. I have 3 other children and this pregnancy was so different to there’s. I felt so bloated all the time, even before I knew I was pregnant, no sickness, no sensitivity to taste or smells. The only strong symptom I had was my boobs were killing me all the time until after she was delivered. I also had a small bit of spotting around 8 weeks, can this be a sign that things were never right?
I have this unnatural emptiness, I loved my baby so much from the minute I knew she existed but I need to be pregnant again. It took years for me to conceive so I seen her as my miracle baby, now she’s gone. Am I more fertile after a miscarriage and D&C? I was going to wait to ttc until after my test results come back so hopefully I’ll have answers and know the likelihood of it happening again but I’m afraid the longer I leave it the less fertile I’ll be, I’m nearly 38 so I don’t have years left to try this time. I am not trying to replace a baby with a baby, my little girl will always be part of me but I need to fill this empty hole. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I’d love to hear your experiences.

OP posts:
Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney · 22/05/2019 07:18

I’m so very sorry for your loss. There is miscarriage and pregnancy loss board where I am sure there will be others to speak to.

I can’t imagine what you are going through. I just had a D&C at 8.1 and feel incredibly low.

Take care of yourself as best as you can. Flowers

fingerscrossed4this · 22/05/2019 12:07

Hi Laura,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know the heartbreak. I lost my baby at 16 weeks in Jan this year. There's nothing I can say that will bring you comfort - only time will heal things. For now, I'll grieve with you.

And I also think you're right about fertility. I am now 10 weeks pregnant but I'm not getting excited about it as I've had two losses after the 12 week scan before this. There is always hope and I will send all the positive energy and wishes I can your way. When I lost my first baby, a friend told me that 'the energy of the unborn child will stay around mum giving her extra power and guidance'. I've taken comfort from that. x

Squiff70 · 22/05/2019 12:21

Oh @LauraE81, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost twins at 19 weeks in January this year - a boy and a girl - so I know a bit about what you're going through.

Give yourself chance to grieve for a little while before TTC again. I'm TTC and it's full of mixed emotions. You won't ever fill that empty hole but you - and I - will learn to live alongside it in time.

Consider bereavement counselling too if you think it might help.

Sending hugs your way Flowers

LauraE81 · 22/05/2019 16:00

Thank you girls for all your lovely replies. I honestly have never felt so low but have an amazing husband and I know I’ll get there. With 3 healthy children I’m putting this down to just bad luck, I’ve decided to take vitamins to build myself back up, I’ve continued with my folic acid and after my period starts back I’m going to start ttc again. I hope it happens quickly. Even though it took years the fact that I got pregnant means I can. I think it’s what I need to help me through this grief. I need something to focus on. I’m really terribly sorry for all your losses, I never realised how common miscarriage was. Best of luck to all of you who are expecting your rainbow babies xx

OP posts:
LittleRedSocks · 23/05/2019 09:56

Sending you big hugs xxxx

Ironytheoppositeofwrinkly · 23/05/2019 12:23

I had a stillbirth at almost 35 weeks last boxing day, and I completely get how you feel.
In my experience, you'll get all kinds of people giving their opinions (wanted and unwanted) and almost everyone will tell you to wait, I know everyone from medical professionals to family told me to wait. I am now 9 weeks pregnant again, and as thrilled as I am in a way, I wish to God I had listened. I am not ready emotionally to be dealing with this pregnancy, but what's done is done and now all I can do is make the best of it. My advice would be to wait at least a year, however everyone is different and just make sure that if you do fall straight away, that you have a support network available as you'll need it. Good luck and I'm so sorry for your loss x

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