Advice on referral after miscarriage

[susso]

Hi, just looking for a little advice.

I had a miscarriage 8 weeks ago, a very much longed for and planned for baby. TTC for a year before hand, got my referral for specialist but then obviously found out I was pregnant and this appointment was cancelled.

TTC again after the miscarriage, I know it will take a while to get back to normal. My question is, because I can get pregnant am I no longer eligible for a referral? Do I have to wait another year to be referred again...
Stuck in a rut at the minute ☹️
Thank you x

Hi @susso, I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm in a similar situation. Ttc for 16 cycles and had a referral to fertility clinic in process. I then got a bfp but had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks. Our clinic appointment was the following month and I was advised by gynecology to keep it. The doctor we saw didn't bat an eyelid (was very clinical) and he's kept us on the process. I'm having a few tests then back in September.

I was really worried we'd be discharged and have to start over, but that hasn't been my experience.

Good luck x

Hi @VenusStarr thanks for getting back to me. Also so sorry about your loss, it's such a horrible experience.

Your experience is great to hear. I was so worried about having to wait another year as now I'm worried about having problems with sustaining a pregnancy... I will get back in touch with them this week. Thank you once again. Sending you some good luck and hope you'll get your baby soon x

Just keep at it and get seen by anyone you can. I told my doctor after multiple miscarriages I wasn't sure about a referral to the mc clinic because I dont want fertility treatment and she said you won't be offered fertility treatment because we know you are fertile (multiple pregnancies, 1 live birth) hope you get some useful input soon

I hope we both get our babies 🤞 @susso xx

Unfortunately the NHS will reset the clock in terms of fertility referral as your miscarriage counts as a pregnancy and they will say you have to be trying for at least 1 year with no positive pregnancy tests. (Happened to a friend of mine a couple of months ago - she had an ectopic and was then told she has to now wait another year before she can see the fertility clinic)

Also doctors won't refer you to a miscarriage clinic until you have had 3 consecutive miscarriages so sadly the next few months may feel like you are in limbo?

That isn't my experience @itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted.the consultant couldn't have been less interested in my miscarriage. He's sent me off for investigations and I have a follow up later in the year. It might be area dependent though.

If I was your GP I'd refer you anyway, you've not got a "child" (sorry to put it like that, I understand the miscarried baby was your child) and you've been trying for over a year, so in my opinion you still fit the criteria.
(Doctor)

My gp told me 'have more miscarriages' or wait another year. I then was able to self refer to the fertility clinic and they said I'd done the right thing. I'd been ttc 15 months with two chemicals. We then conceived at over two years ttc through ivf on the nhs. My 9 week old is asleep on the boob over three years since we started ttc.

Take the time to grieve though. What you've been through is tough. Be kind to yourself.

Thanks everyone for getting back to me. I'm going to sort it all out this week so fingers crossed for the best. Will update when I know more xx

@physicskate so glad you finally got your happy ending- makes all this upset seem worthwhile x

Tbf, I'm still pretty bitter that we struggled so much (when not everyone does and so many take it all for granted). I'm also annoyed by how much the experience changed me as a person.

But I suppose life's not always fair.

And my daughter's amazing. So on that front we're very very lucky.

@physicskate it is so upsetting and frustrating especially when people who treat their children badly etc... get pregnant so easily. But you're right life isn't always fair. I'm at the point where I'm just desperate now and all I can do is Stick in the game and not give up. Congrats on your daughter, you are very lucky x

I would discuss this with your GP. I have had two MMC in a row and no living children. After the first mmc we were approved for IVF but fell pregnant naturally, only to have another mmc. My GP referred me to the recurrent miscarriage clinic because I’m 35 and we have a diagnosis for our infertility (on my DH’s side). The fertility consultant will then review everything after that appointment. The fact we could get pregnant naturally didn’t seem to affect our status, because there was no live birth. It’s worth getting clarity from your GP but my experience has been very positive. I’m really sorry, getting pregnant and miscarrying when also dealing with infertility is so difficult. We will get there :)

I'm under the fertility clinic and whilst waiting to start on ovulation stimulants I conceived naturally but miscarried 💔 gp wrote to the fertility clinic to see what's what and they've sent me another appointment so I'd still go to your appointment 👍🏻

Brilliant ladies thanks for your advice- so sorry this has happened to you both- wishing you both the best of luck. Fingers crossed We will get there in the end x

@susso have you had any news on the referral? X

Hey @squirrelnutkins1

I got back in touch with the place I was referred to as it was proving impossible to get a GP appointment! And they told me they can add me back to the waiting list that is currently only about 4 weeks long for an initial appointment, so I'm on that and hoping to get a July/August appointment. Unsure what they'll do or say due to me being able to conceive now but it's progress! I'm 8dpo at the min so hopefully I'll have a BFP before it, but I'm not holding high hopes! How are you doing? Have you had much news from your clinic? Xx

Here's hoping for this month for you 🙏🏻 glad you're on the wait list tho and it's not too long either.
I've got my appointment next week so will see what they say. I'm a bit nervous but we'll see. How are you coping following your mc? X

Thank you @squirrelnutkins1 I've got my fingers crossed that we both get good news soon!! Do let me know how it goes as I'm nervous for mine too when the time finally comes around.

I'm not feeling great lately, I feel like I've been so up and down and it's really making me sad. I think I'm just not fully over my MC and I want to be so badly so I'm getting frustrated that I can't move on. It's a bit rubbish but every day I feel myself getting a little bit stronger. How are you coping? Xx

Yes I really hope so!! I will do. It felt so far away when I got my appointment but now it's only a few days away.

You won't be over it yet. You will be up and down. It's only natural. It's a loss. It's ok to grieve. Mine was at the start of April and this week is the first time I feel like I've started to come up out of the water. Ive had a really good week and feeling so much better but I know I'm not going to always feel like this. There will be triggers and I've booked myself in for some counselling in a few weeks so hopefully I'll get given some coping techniques.

We've got an amazing support thread if you want me to tag you in, it's called Stsrting the journey thread 2. There's a load of us at all different stages. Two of us with recent mcs, one who has just had a fet and awaiting her test date next week, others awaiting ivf. It's really good. Xx

Appointment today. Back to the original plan of trying Letrazole for a few months. No comment or suggestion of discharging us just because we'd conceived naturally. He said he'd support us whatever we choose so we went for the tablets so we could try the most 'natural' approach first before something more invasive. We're on cycle 22 now. Hope you're well xx

Sorry @squirrelnutkins1 just seen this!

I'm doing a bit better the past few days, it's crazy how up and down I am...

I'm glad the clinic are still helping you and being supportive, I've got everything crossed for you to get your BFP soon. I think we're on cycle 14/15... it's so stressful but I hope we'll both get our babies soon xxx

Yes I really hope so too 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 keep in touch if you like 😊 xx @susso

Definitely will keep in touch @squirrelnutkins1 ❤️

I have another blood test booked for next week so will update with results of that, hopefully it'll confirm that I'm still ovulating so fingers crossed x

Yes let me know 😊 I've started my Letrazole and I've got a scan booked next week for follicle tracking. I've also booked in for some reflexology, I'll give anything a go now 🤣 @susso