Didn't think it would take this long- when to go to dr?

[lolabellina]

We have been TTC since August last year. I know that on average it can take up to a year but I just never thought it would really take this long. I've tried not to let it get to me but tonight I've been sitting looking on asos at dresses for a wedding this summer, loads of maternity dresses are coming up in my search and it's really got to me. I thought by the time this wedding came I might be needing one of those dresses but obviously not.

I'm 32, DH is 33. What's worrying me is that we did an at home fertility test from the pharmacy a few months back. There were 2 tests for each of us in the pack. We followed all instructions, leaving enough time in between each of the tests and both of mine were fine, DH's first one presented as low sperm count, second one we think was ok, definitely darker than the first but we were a bit unsure. I know these tests don't really tell you much but what worries me is that DH is a firefighter and has been for 9 years. He works in a really busy station with regular callouts. I have read online that their job can cause infertility in men, not just due to heat of the fires but because their firekit also traps their body heat in even when they are not in fires and the reason why men have testicles outside their body is to keep the sperm at a lower temperature than their body heat as they can die off even at typical body temperature.
DH is still very cool about the whole thing, says it's not been that long. When he talks to guys at his work it has taken most of them a number of years to conceive but they have got there eventually so he's not worrying yet.

Do we wait until the year+ mark to go to the DR or can we go sooner given the at home test results and DH's job? DH doesn't think we should yet but I feel like given our (my) age and the other factors that we should.

Hey OP, sorry to hear how you're feeling. I'm 30+ and been trying for similar time to you. My doctor was happy to discuss blood tests, referrals etc after 6 months rather than 12 because I'm on the wrong side of 30! I've decided to take the Dr up on that offer...for my sanity more than anything else. I'd say go for a chat and see where it goes - the worst that can happen is they say come back in Aug. Good luck x

That's good to know. I know this might sound like a really silly question but do you just book an appointment the way you would if you were ill and bring it up then? Would DH and I go together even though we have different doctors (as in we are each registered with different clinics)?

Also one of the reasons my DH doesn't think we should go to the dr yet is that he thinks before anything else the dr will look at two things before anything else-

1. Are we overweight?
2. Am I stressed?

DH was slightly overweight but has lost weight in the last couple of months (he didn't have much to lose). I am also overweight although not huge (size 12-14 and very active) but slowly losing weight.
I also had a highly stressful period with work for about 6 months which really impacted me physically (anxiety, panic attacks, etc) although this has now calmed down.
DH doesn't think there's much point in going to see the dr until we are both at a healthy weight as he thinks the dr will just tell us to come back when we are.

He shd get his semen analysis done through his GP and you can have the conversation with your doctor about having the formal infertility tests done. Having the tests is not a substitute for DTD regularly. So that shouldn't stop. You book a routine appt and they shd be able to help you. Weight becomes an issue if there is to be any intervention to help you get pregnant. The gynaecologists usually want a BMI of under 30. Closer to 25 the better for IVF or they won't do it. Good luck

In my area you have to have been trying a year if you're under 35. If you're over 35 it's 6 months

As far as stress goes it's such a subjective thing and in life you often find as soon as one cause goes along comes something else so you might be waiting a while. Guess I'm just trying to say - don't wait and just book an appointment. I'd probably book a double as well as you might have things to talk about.

I went to the GP at the six month mark and was only 28. Doctor happily got “the process started” by referring me for blood tests and a scan of my womb lining. She said that I was sensible to go and ask as fertility testing is a long road. Must have been the kick up the arse my eggs needed because I fell pregnant that month. Go and have a chat to your GP, I found mine to be very understanding. And FWIW most people I know have taken between 4 months and 18 months when aged between about 27 and 35. Good luck!

My BMI is 29 so under 30 but still obviously have weight to lose so will keep working on that.

We spoke to our GP, DH had a sperm analysis, I had ovulation tests and we were then put on waiting list for IVF and now have DS2. I would go sooner rather than later.

My GP said six months. Go and have the tests done they are non invasive and will give you a clearer picture of the way forward.

Okay, thanks for the advice. I'm going to call tomorrow and book an appointment and will get DH to do the same.

I'd go sooner rather than later. It is not a quick process.

I'd been ttc for 13 months and gp told me to come back after another year. I was 33...

So if you do go to the gp please don't get your hopes set on them doing anything.

@physicskate that's crazy. I'm sure the recommendation is tests after 12 months or 6 months depending on your age. I'd be getting a second opinion.

It's def a year if you're under 35 and 6 months if over 35. Not just my area. Some people here obv have very kind GPs to do it earlier. The guidelines are on the NHS website (just went and had a nosey)

@lolabellina if you're under 35 be prepared for the doctor to tell you to come back when it's been a year, I went after 6 months and they did just that. I actually then fell pregnant on cycle 8 (unfortunately had a mmc) so sometimes it does just take longer. Have you been on contraception for a long time? I was on the pill for 12 years and it does take time for it to get out of your system.

I think it’d be sensible to get to a healthy weight first OP before seeing the doctor. With a BMI of 29 you’re only a smidge away from being clinically obese, which decreases your chances of conceiving. If you were to conceive while obese your risk of miscarriage is increased from one in five to one in four, you’re three times more likely to develop gestational diabetes, higher risk of blood clots and of the baby’s shoulder getting stuck during birth leading to dystocia, more likely to need forceps or a Caesarean section and some other issues. Your risk of stillbirth is also doubled :(

These figures are for women with a BMI of 30 or above but there is no ‘cliff edge’ where 29 is fine and 30 isn’t, and if you are really certain about wanting to try for a baby I think it’d be sensible to either hold off on trying until you’re able to achieve a normal weight or to focus very hard on getting to a normal weight during TTC. The doctor may or may not refuse to send you for testing while being so overweight but really the main motivating factor is trying to ensure you’re fit to try/carry so you’re not putting yourself or your baby under more strain and increased risks than necessary. At 32 you’re right to be wanting to look into fertility sooner rather than later but as it’s only been nine months and there’s a possible contributing factor in your hands to change I suspect the doctor will want to see you achieve a healthy weight before exploring tests.