Timing of second baby and career

[SecondBabyWhen]

I can't seem to find any recent threads on this so here goes.

I have one DD and have just gone back to work after maternity leave. I would definitely like a second. Got pregnant really quickly with my first although obviously no guarantee that would happen again.

However I'm nervous about the impact on my career of having two mat leaves close together. For context I work in financial services in London in a senior-ish role. I'm also 34, so feel I need to get on with it if I want another baby.

Does anyone in a similar type of career have any advice? Partly I think I should get on with number two and then restart my career properly once I'm back after a second mat leave. But I worry how my current employer would react to a second mat leave so soon. Would welcome advice from others who have been in a similar situation as I'm sure there are lots!

Has anyone also taken a relatively short mat leave (I mean say 6 or 7 months)? I've had 12 months this time and whilst it's been really great, I don't feel either I or DD necessarily needed all of it.

I'm not in FS, but I think go ahead and have the second as soon as you can.

I obviously can't speak for your specific manager and what they're like, but generally employers know women are likely to have more than one child and many will want close age gaps if possible. It shouldn't be that unexpected.

And a year is a massive break out from things. I've got a colleague I started with a decade ago, and we're still very much in-step on promotions and progression (I'm very lucky), but I still feel very aware of the time out I've had and I know I'd have a lot more experience if I hadn't (not that I regret it for a second).

To be honest, I also haven't felt 100% motivated between mat leaves (soon to go on my second one next month), knowing I was planning a second child. I'd like to get it all done and then go back to concentrate on my career.

How do you feel about age gaps between siblings? It's so individual to each person. My friend is a teacher and trying for her second now, when her first is five years old. For her, progression and career planning is unlikely to be affected, and she prefers that kind of age gap.

Definitely take the year! Once you're done with babies, it's work for the rest of your life (I assume, if you're not part-time or going SAHP). Enjoy it now!

Thanks that's helpful. I do also worry about not feeling 100% motivated when I know I'll hopefully be off again, so in a way a shorter period between mat leaves would be better. Such a difficult balance to strike!

My children are four years apart; I’ve had a promotion after each of them. I think the larger gap was better career-wise as it enabled me to get fully re-established and move roles.

I took 7 months with my first and 9 with my second (including accrued annual leave) - I did shared parental leave with my husband. I think that was also pretty crucial to my career - I missed less time in the workplace and we were both established as primary caregivers to the kids, so parenting wasn’t automatically my job.

(And it’s been a lovely age gap for us - they’re 7 and 3 now and still adore each other.)

I would go for it and try now. I found out now at 34 my hormones have change since my 1st which I had at 31 and wished I tried earlier as I put my career first. I conceived my 1st first try! Now on cycle 6.

I'd say start trying as you never know what will happen
Not the same career but we started ttc dc2 when ds turned 1. I didn't apply for promotion 2 months later because of wanting to wait until after I'd finished having children. 6 months later and still no bfp, applied for promotion, got it, got my bfp the same week then mc at 8 weeks. We are now 1 year into our ttc journey

I guess what I am trying to say is that you don't know what will happen. You could ttc, get your bfp really quickly and then focus on your career. I know of women who have got promotions despite being obviously pregnant or on maternity leave. Or you could choose to focus more on your career later. Or like me ttc#2 could take much longer this time

Good luck with your decision

Thanks, this is all good for thought.

JassyRadlett I can see why a promotion between leaves would be great. I think my issue is a promotion in my current role is unlikely (unless my boss leaves the company), so I would need to move companies.

Dragonmummy it is so true, you never know how long it will take to TTC, I think that is my biggest fear.

I'm just pregant with dc2 - dd is 4. Like a pp i feel like i have resestablished my reputation in my workplace in a wayvthat i worry would have been harder after 2 long stretches away closer together

I have a 2.8yr old and am now expecting no.2 in November. I wanted to wait due to my career although I agree with a pp that because I knew I wanted a second i never felt fully back in to it. I did manage to get a promotion by moving jobs, and I’ve only been in my new job 6 months when I got pregnant so I was terrified to tell work. But actually it wasn’t that bad so now I’m glad I didn’t wait longer to TTC. I’m looking forward to concentrating on my career more once I have this second and final one. I took a year the first time and was thinking of taking less time this time around to try and keep my career a priority but I’ve changed my mind and I’m going to take the year. Really once you’re off I don’t think there’s much between 9-12 for an employee therefore might as well make the most of it with the kids.

I work in FS and have a similar experience to JassyRadlett (4 year gap between my two DC and managed to secure a promotion after coming back from maternity leave). Like JassyRadlett, I believe the larger age gap did help in enabling me to continue with my career progression.

OP - you stated in your last post that promotion in your current role is unlikely unless you move companies. Is this something you would consider?

I work in FS and have a similar experience to JassyRadlett (4 year age gap between my two DC and managed to secure a promotion after returning from maternity leave). Like JassyRadlett I believe that the larger age gap helped in enabling me to progress my career.

OP - you stated in your last post that promotion is unlikely in your current role unless you move companies. Is this something you would consider?

Jennymac yes I have been considering moving. However, roles at the next step up don't come up that often, so it could take a year or so to get one. Am unsure about moving if I know I'm likely to want to TTC soon after starting. But if I did decide to delay until DD is say 2.5 or 3, then yes I would look to move now.

Whoops - didn't think my first post went through. Apologies.

I’m with the others- I’m
About to go one mat leave with no2 4 years after no1 (I am also almost 38) I secured 2 promotions in the last 3 years so well worth the gap

I only had 20 weeks maternity leave with my first DC as I'm the main earner - it was hard but no choice - we re still trying ttc number 2. After 2 years and several losses so I would say don't worry about timing and just go for it - someone once told me "no one ever had good employee on their headstone" - jobs will come and go - your window to have and make the most of a family is relatively really short x

Thanks everyone. This is actually really interesting as I had thought most people would have said having two closer together and then going back properly is easier so it is giving me food for thought! Although given my age, I am still undecided and going to think about it some more.