Hi There,
I decided to join Mumsnet as for the past year, I've been scanning the conception forum and I've really appreciated all of the posts. Essentially - I'm in a right pickle.
My fiancé and I have 'sort of' been trying for 1 year and probably passive for 2. I say sort of, as it's been sort of mentally half hearted as we haven't been sure if it's the right thing to do. We absolutely love the idea of having a little baby and often talk about it and how wonderful it would be... then stop ourselves at the pragmatic type stuff i.e. finances and current living situation/work.
So one half of the story is that I've had investigations for infertility, as I was surprised that after some time has passed I haven't conceived. (Clear Blue ovulation tests monthly... sex every 2 days etc) Turns out there's nothing scientifically out of the ordinary for both of us but due to our ages (I'm turning 34 and finance is turning 36), we've been offered IVF in June this year.
The other half of the story is that we've had some real struggles over the last 6 years via career changes, lots of relocations and financial obligations. This year is the first year it's all 'settled' and we've really enjoyed being able to search for a bigger house, book some holidays in and essentially... finally feel what it feels like to 'settle down' and 'live comfortably'. First time in our adult lives pretty much.
We're left with the questions:
- Would getting pregnant now (particularly with the gift of IVF) be another major life change that would knock us off kilter again, just as the dust has settled?
- Would we always wish we'd spend even more quality time together with no worries (fingers crossed) and enjoying holidays etc together first?
But also other question:
- What if we delay IVF and trying for a year or 2, to find out we are now infertile?
Massively tough dilemma. I've had a lot of my friends and family members urge me to just keep trying - lots of fear factors over not being able to get pregnant at 35/36. It terrifies me.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and I'd very much welcome all opinions. I'm literally torn down the middle. The internet is also awash with contradictory information about getting pregnant after 35, so it's all so confusing.
Thanks for listening and sorry to ramble on! 