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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

how long between babies?? some advice needed pls :)

10 replies

lilsmum · 09/09/2004 17:11

hi everyone, my dd is 7 mth old but did take me 6 mth to conceive her.... i definately want another but what some advice on how long a age gap is best do ya think? do u think it is best to have kids closer together in age(even though i know it will be hard for me)? or have a few years gap? i cant make my mind up... my dp says he would try now but he doesnt do all the hard work lol... advice pls xx

OP posts:

Chandra · 09/09/2004 17:14

I think there was another thread about this topic some time ago, I think most people mentioned about a 2 yrs age difference between siblings. My midwife told me to wait at least 9 m before getting pregnant again but a docto told me to wait a year.

LucieB · 09/09/2004 20:13

I have 17.5 months between my two and would like to have the same sort of gap (not much bigger) between no 2 and no 3 - therefore am ttc at the moment - dd (no2) is now 7 mths. However, it took my body a while to get back to normal last time so am not holding out any hopes for the next few months...It is hard work having them close together - particularly in the first year or so. But I haven't experience any jealousy from no 1 or anything like that, probably because he was only 17 mths when dd arrived. A 20mth gap seems to be the norm amongst people I know. HTH

Heathcliffscathy · 09/09/2004 20:16

fwiw homeopath said to me, two years for body to get really back together again.

Quackers · 09/09/2004 21:06

Other side of the coin. I have 4 yrs between mine.. Accidentally, as had miscarriages, so it;s just the way it went. I am really happy though. Suits me as DD1 at school now and DD2 at home with me, so it;s great. I think everyone is different though and you know what you'll be happy with yourself! Good luck!!

linnet · 09/09/2004 21:55

I have 6 and a half years between my girls. I like the age gap as I get to spend time with dd2 while dd1 is at school and then I spend time with dd1 while dd2 is in bed.

I do worry sometimes though that as they get older they won't play as much together than if they'd been closer. But I know that I couldn't have coped with 2 little ones at home together at the same time.

Woman next door to me has 19 months between her two. And a friend of mine has 2 years between each of her 4 children.

poppyseed · 09/09/2004 21:57

I'm the same as you quackers. 4 years between our two and I love it. They have both had 1:1 with me which is fab. The only downside is I feel so knackered as I'm older!!

mazzymcg · 09/09/2004 21:57

I'm pregnant with no. 2 and dd is 6 - didn't plan such a big gap and ideally would have wanted them closer but advantage is that dd is now v. capable of doing lots of stuff herself and I'm sure will try to oust me as mum once baby is born! She is very excited, understands what's going on and I reckon that we shouldn't have the problems with jealousy or sibling rivalry that can occur with smaller gaps. I have friends who have 2 year gaps between their children and some feel that this is VERY hard work as first one is still a "baby" in many ways and 2nd one misses out on attention. My personal view is that 4 years would be ideal as no.1 would be starting school which would give more time for no. 2 and no.1 would also be old enough to understand that baby needs attention and would therefore (maybe) not be as jealous as they might if they were younger. The benefit of a small age gap is that hopefully they may play better together and be closer emotionally. Having said all of that, everyone is different and what might be ideal for one would not be for another. I guess my conclusion is that there is no such thing as an ideal age gap - so I've been no help whatsoever!! Boy, can I waffle!

poppyseed · 09/09/2004 22:31

mazzymcg - I agree with your waffle!! We didn't exactly plan a 4 year age gap too but I had a mc and you get what you're given I suppose. The gap we have works out great. My brother is 7 years older than me and when I was smaller I felt that it was large but now we're older it is like he is my best friend not my brother - really nice.

kkgirl · 10/09/2004 08:59

It depends on what you feel would be best really. At least if you have them close together all the early years work is done and then you can begin to get your life back, but it is hard when they are all so young. If you leave a longer gap then the oldest will be a bit more independent but then jealousies and rivalry begin to creep in. Personally I waited until my ds was 18 months and then tried, I was really lucky though to conceive quickly, but the joke was on me and I ended up with twins!! so I'm glad I did wait.
It was very hard having 3 under three's, but that phase is over, and my three are close, even though they bicker and fight.

Good luck with your decision and I hope it works out for you

EvanMom · 10/09/2004 09:05

I think there is only one answer to this question - do you feel READY for another baby? Do you think you could cope?
I was ready for another baby when ds1 was 6 months. We conceived ds2 when ds1 was 7 months.
ds2 has just turned one and I am ready for another baby and we will start trying soon.
There is a 15 month age gap between ds1 and ds2. Friends who had a baby the same time as we had ds1 think I am mad - but only because, they themselves were not ready for a baby so soon.
I have coped - yes it's been hard, but now I love watching my 1 and 2 year olds playing and interacting with each other. I may end up with three under three and a half, and for me, that would be fantastic.
I personally can't imagine leaving nappies behind, only to start again a few years later. But it IS such a personal choice!!!
Good luck!!

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