On the fence about whether to have baby number 2

[Newmum26]

We have a gorgeous DS who is 22 months old.
Hubby wants another baby as we always said we wanted two children.
I’m reading so much into it though this time and thinking I’m over thinking things too much 🤦🏻♀️
I know you will say it’s only a decision I can make but I just wanted some advice or similar feelings that you may have felt like me.
In my heart I want another baby, I want a brother or sister for our son it will be nice for him to have a sibling. We always said we wanted two children to complete our family.
I want to enjoy being pregnant again, the scans the labour and birth, the having a newborn again the baby stages etc.
But I also feel guilty. So guilty. Guilty for bringing another child into our happy family of 3, is it fair on my DS? We spend all our time with him, play with him, read with him and he is so loved and happy, I wonder if it’s fair on him?
And before DS I guess you never knew what the sleepless nights were actually like people would tell you about it but this time I think it’s different as I actually know what it’s like 😩 It’s tough! But again is that enough to only stick at one child 🤷🏻♀️
Anyone felt like this and have any words of advice muchly appreciated ☺️

You're right, it is your decision but the thing that made my mind up about baby number 2,

I know I wouldn't regret another baby but might regret not having another baby.

Baby no 2 is now 6 weeks old (tomorrow) and I'm so so glad we had her.

Like you, I was really happy with our family or 3 and really worried that having another would ruin my sons life. Could I love another baby as much etc etc.

My son LOVES her. He's just turned 3 last week and he's so loving towards her. Wanting to bring her blankets, cuddle her etc.

As for the love, I love them both to bits - I wasn't sure there was room after my son but there totally was!

Plus (for me - maybe I'm lucky) it's been so much easier this time, it's like she's slotted in rather than feeling like my whole life changed like last time (not to mention better labour / planned section and better recover).

I would have been very happy with my family of 3, but thrilled with my 4.

Good luck with your decision xx

It’s normal to worry about the impact of a sibling on the first child, but generally it’s positive. Most kids love their little brother or sister, they have someone to play with when they get older and it also teaches them to share etc. I find your level of concern a bit unusual as most people worry that having an only child is unfair on the child not that a sibling would damage them in some way.

My son is much older (4.5) and this year he's actually been requestioning a brother or sister. We've had to wait til now to try due to my health.

My only anxiety is getting post natal depression but I got through it the first time.

I have seen DS with other babies. He is kind and gentle. He likes to share / show them his toys. You would make time for each child. Maybe it's too soon? You could always wait?

I think you may feel guilty as he's still so small and needs you. I would wait a while and see how you feel.

Yes! Mine is 18 months and I've been feeling like this. Yet yesterday my baby nephew was round and my toddler started patting and stroking him and I realised that there is a lot of advantage in having a sibling and being a big brother or sister. It made up my mind like flipping a switch and now I really want another.

Go for it asap as they will have a buddy for life. I feel sorry for only children I see now, they get lonely sometimes and parents need to make more of an effort planning playdates etc. Don't get me wrong, we plan play dates....but my children have each other to play together every day. They are 20 months apart and they are so close.

One option is a bigger gap - we are likely to have a gap of about 5 years between our children. I think my firstborn got all that time and will soon be off at school doing her own thing so I can feel a bit less guilty