I feel so broken.

[raspberrylime123]

I can’t keep looking at negative tests and seeing blood. I literally feel like I’m having a breakdown over this. Please help how do I cope

@raspberrylime123 - I found around the six month mark really hard. Felt like I should have done it by then. Genuinely, stopping testing really helped. It didn't stop me feeling sad when AF came along, but it did stop me feeling quite so hopefully and so less crushed. It meant that it didn't feel like I was trying to aim for something and 'failing'.

You said in your OP that you felt like you're near a breakdown over it. If you really are feeling that distressed, I second the suggestions for counselling. It may help too. Also, if you haven't, think about telling a friend. I told one of my best mates, and she's been there through all of the initial excitement that we were trying, the feeling of 'fuck this shit', the excitement when I got my first BFP and support when I lost it. It also helps that she's not TTC and isn't planning to. Watching friends get preggers is very bittersweet.

Good luck - really sorry you're having a rough time.

@raspberrylime123 I'm in the exact same position as you I'm on Cycle 5 expecting AF on weds I don't test until AF is late mainly because I will just get myself in a massive mood if I test and it's BFN, what I find helps too is DG always asks when I'm due AF because he likes to know if I'm late I guess and I always tell him I'm due a couple days after I actually am so he doesn't ask of AF has come yet, I also find that going to the gym helps me I take all my anger and stress out on the treadmill and then i feel like I've turned it in to a positive, I read a couple of books called the secret and the power not sure if you've heard of them or read them but they really helped me change my way of thinking, It will happen for you! And just keep telling yourself that, I thought when I came off the pill in sept that I'd be pregnant by March and here I am not pregnant so yeah some could say I'm a bit disappointed but then I thought what the heck I'm not pregnant I don't need to save money so I'm getting my teeth done instead, treat yourself! And please be kind to yourself! You can't do anymore than your already doing. Book a nice holiday give you something to look forward too xx

I meant DH sorry I really should check before I post on here!

@raspberrylime123 I remember hitting the 6 month mark and feeling very down. Yes it isn't long but it's often the timeframe most people have in your head like by x (6 months) I'm sure I'll have fallen. And you start thinking this Xmas i have had said baby or at least the pregnant etc.

Others are right 6 months isn't a long time but that doesn't invalidate your feelings. It's okay to feel down and broken and if it's really affecting you seek support but i say have your down moments, have a good cry and then try to keep your chin up and keep bedding and staying positive that it will happen!

How are you feeling, OP?