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Original poster

TTC with phimosis

8 replies

twinkle999 · 20/02/2019 07:04

Does anyone have any experience of this?

I’m 40 and newly married. I knew from the ourset DH had phimosis but it didn’t cause any issues - we used condoms and it was not a problem.

I would however like a baby and am very conscious of my age. TTC is not going v well at all.

Without being too graphic sex without a condom is difficult - we’ve managed that once. We’ve been trying condoms with the end snipped off but that is hit and miss - I’m not sure the semen is always going where it should and it still sometimes causes DH some pain.

I managed to get DH to go to the doctor about it. The doctor prescribed some cream to apply but DH hasn’t used it (!!!!) - generally I feel he’s very head in the sand about what a massive issue this is.

I suggested we might try home insemination but he is not keen on that.

In some ways I’d prefer not to try for a baby that have this become a massive issue between us. I already feel it is causing stress and anxiety during what should be a joyful time for us.

Any suggestions?

OP posts:
Original poster
twinkle999 · 20/02/2019 08:00

Have just totally lost it with DH about not using the cream 😢🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
physicskate · 20/02/2019 08:02

There is a cure: circumcision. But that's quite a big decision and he obviously would have to be happy to have it done.

Original poster
twinkle999 · 20/02/2019 08:04

I have not pushed circumcision as I feel I would not appreciate him pushing me to have an operation.

Was hoping for some non surgical suggestions....

OP posts:
TortoiseLettuce · 20/02/2019 08:07

Yep I agree. If he’s having pain then circumcision is the way to go. He needs to go back to the doctor and request further treatment. He’s being ridiculous by refusing to acknowledge the issue and just suffering in pain.

Original poster
twinkle999 · 20/02/2019 08:10

Any non surgical ideas? I really don’t think it’s for me to insist he gets circumcised. It’s a big op and not always straightforward.

OP posts:
TortoiseLettuce · 20/02/2019 08:11

Steroid cream or surgery are the only treatments. He needs to use the cream he’s been prescribed, and if that doesn’t work he needs surgery. There’s not much more anyone can say really.

Hiphopopotamous · 20/02/2019 09:46

Why is he not using the cream?

Does this go deeper? Does he not want to TTC?

Original poster
twinkle999 · 20/02/2019 10:10

Yeah I have pointed out to him that his actions seem to point towards not wanting to TTC. Went absolutely mental this morning, ranted a lot 😟

Have also given him plenty of opportunity to say that actually TTC is not what he wants.

We are both older - met in our late 30’s and had probably both given up on the idea of marriage/children when we met. So in some ways if we were making an active decision to be child free then I could probably get ok with that. Could plan towards retiring early, having lots of nice holidays and maybe volunteer with children or something. However what I can’t get on board with is just this pissing about while life passes us by.

Have pointed out in v strong terms that the lack of action one way or another is going to affect our marriage.

He says he is now going to use the cream. But I’m not that happy I’ve had to rant about it for it to happen.

OP posts:
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