Fed up of seeing AF every month!!

[Rainbow714]

So me and my husband have been ttc for about 18months with sadly a MC in Aug last year, nothing since was a really hard time and was hoping we would concieve quickly afterwords but it doesnt seem to be happening. Every month i get my hopes up thinking this is going to be our month, symptom spotting - everything! Only to be let down by either AF or a negative test. The age gap will be getting bigger between our dd and new baby (if it ever happens) which slighlty worries me a little. Not sure what i wanted to gain out of this post, just feel deflated and close to giving up! X

After 18 months you can start to think about fertility tests and treatments. Secondary infertility really is a thing. Good luck.

Thank you for the reply, i thought they only offered tests after a year? Which lilkely will be Aug after another year! As i was pregnant in between x

Completely understand this feeling and you have my sympathy, we were TTC #2 for 19 months with a miscarriage one sept 17 after 7 months. Took another year but got pregnant in August last year and I’m now 27 weeks pregnant. I too worried about the age gap getting bigger but actually DD being a bit older than planned has it’s benefits. She’s a lot less needy than she would have been a year ago, she’s also more aware and is super excited to be a big sister.

You don’t have to wait a year after a pregnancy for testing, go and see your GP and get the ball rolling. We were diagnosed as ‘unexplained’ and thought we would be heading for IVF.

To get through each month i stopped testing unless my period was a week late, and I planned in nice things that I couldn’t do pregnant for when AF was due. So spa days/weekends away drinking gin with friends. Not ideal by a long shot but made me feel less like life was on hold constantly.

Thank you for your lovely comment and congratulations on your pregnancy, how exciting! Yeah my dd would make a great big sister and desperate to make it happen. Maby its something i will chat to the hubby about taking a visit to the gp, hes much more relaxed then i am and doesnt seem to worry and over think things as i do. X

Thank you! Still very nervous about it all after taking so long to get here.

Your husband sounds like mine, he was never worried and always told me it would happen. He was good about going for tests even though he didn’t want to bless him.

Even if you go just for your tests first to start the process. It might be something really simple that they can sort out. I felt better having a plan so even if we ended up with IVF at least I knew. The unknown is the worst part, if someone said two years ago ‘yep you’ll be pregnant in Aug 2018’ I’d have stopped worrying and panicking. I just wish it worked like that!

Same here

After a year of TTC#2 we went to the docs. Secondary infertility 😔 all the tests were run and nothing showed up

We paid for a round of iVf early last year which was unsuccessful and decided to be happy with our lot. Which I don't say lightly, was a very difficult decision, but after 2.5 years of trying and being 38 I felt time wasn't on my side.

Went away on our summer holiday last June and low and behold fell pregnant. Complete shock!

Am currently 35 weeks pregnant and it still feels surreal. Although we wanted a smaller gap, it's actually worked out really well for us. My dd is 4 and will be starting school in September and she is so excited to be a big sister.

Good luck on your journey. It's an emotional rollercoaster xxx

Yes he says the exact same thing! Yeah i wish it was that easy, if only eh! Diddnt realise how stressful and draining ttc can be! Thank you, will read up about tests and what are next options are. X

Thank you for replying @moleeye! Congratulations on your pregnancy and thank you for sharing your experience. How exciting and not long to go before you meet your baby. Makes me believe there is hope and a chance it still can happen. I feel a little nervous the thought of going for tests, but might be our next option. X

If you dont mind me asking, what happens at youe first appointment? Do you book through your gp? Do they start tests there and then? A little clueless what happens next and would like to get as much info as i can to discuss with the hubby.

I had blood tests (they have to be at a certain day in the cycle to check you are ovulating and your hormone levels), my OH had to give a sample into the hosp for them to check his sperm count etc.

I had a hysteroscopy where they inject dye into the Fallopian tubes to see if there is a blockage etc (bloody hurt!). Basically that's all that can be done on the NHS if you have a child already. We weren't eligible for anything else and that's why we went down the IVF route.

It was a very difficult time for us (the whole 2.5 years, not just the ivf which was extremely taxing emotionally and physically) and I didn't realise how much I'd put my life on hold or how much it had affected us as a couple.

My OH was my rock and he basically held me together when I didn't even know I was falling apart.

I know people say 'be grateful you have a child already' and I truly was (although I wanted to punch anyone who said that to me!!) but I felt our family wasn't complete.

It's so hard and I feel for you and for anyone going through this. It becomes all consuming until you can't think of anything else xx

Sorry, meant to add all booked through GP who do the bloods and give the pot for his sample.

They then referred me to the hosp for the procedure.

It depends on where you live as to what help you’ll get as you already have a child.

My GP did day 5 and day 21 bloods first which checks for ovulation and progesterone levels, then sent me for an ultrasound scan of my pelvis area to check uterus/ovaries etc. After they came back clear I had a hysteroscopy and DH did his SA. After that we went to a clinic who did more in depth tests which cost about £1000 for us both. They came back as normal and we got the undiagnosed label. Which basically means they don’t know why we weren’t conceiving.

At this stage in July last year we decided to take a break from it all and save up for IVF after Christmas. i had held out in a job I hated waiting for the next mat leave and was miserable. So I started looking for a new job, luckily got offered one straight away and was much happier even though we weren’t trying I felt better that the pressure was off both in my job and knowing we had a plan. Due to DH’s working away we dtd once in August and hey presto pregnant. I don’t qualify for mat pay but should get mat allowance. It’s less than ideal timing but I guess Mother Nature has a dark sense of humour.

Thank you for explaining the tests too me. We are very grateful for our dd, shes our whole world but i feel like our family is incomplete and adding another child would complete it. My hubby is very much happy to continue ttc (without going for tests) hes very laid back & using the motto 'if it happens it happens' and if we only have our dd then hes happy too. He was my rock when i suffered my MC last year (and the MC i had before we fell on with our dd) and holds me together each month i have a wobble when AF arrives. I honestly dont think he will want to go down the test route, generally worried about the added preassure and my emotions x

Similar situation though not as long.
Had a mmc in October and been trying again since jan.
About to start 3rd cycle due to ovulate this week.

Need to keep occupied in between do joined SlimmingWorld and lost 15lbs so far.

Good luck to you ❤️

Sorry about your mmc, its such a shitty thing to go through. The pain never goes away, but does get easier. Good luck on your ttc journey, sending baby dust to you xx

@Rainbow714 thank you. Was horrible experience, wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Good luck to you too ❤️