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I’m lost TTC; disappointment/jealously/unhappiness?

3 replies

CreekyBeaky · 05/02/2019 23:59

NC for this as I’m struggling to verbalise these feelings let alone be recognised by username. I’m TTC no2, one DC 3years. I’m 40 this year so I feel my time is running out. DH is having second thoughts about no2, he’s older than me (46). He’s worried about his age, coping with another generally, money. We did say we’d have two but haven't spoken about it in depth since DC1. Literally all my close friends are expecting babies, some 1st, some 2nd. They are the people I normally turn to in times of need but I don’t feel like I can, I’m so so upset the DH is having second thoughts (to the point where we didn’t “try” last month), I’m struggling massively without my support network because I don’t feel I can tell them the thought of not having another is completely devastating to me when they are pregnant. I don’t have any relationship with my mother. I feel like I suddenly have no one and I’m spiralling. I know if I push DH he will not react well so I need to wait for his doubts to pass, or not as the case may be and deal with it from there. I’ve never felt so lonely, I just put on a face each day and get on with it but I’m so incredibly sad. I literally don’t know how to cope. If DH doesn’t want another child I think I’ll resent him but the thought of splitting up my family is horrifying. I don’t even know what I’m asking really. I hope someone else has been here and come through the other side?

OP posts:
Eminado · 06/02/2019 00:06

Oh gosh!

I dont have direct experience other than to say i am now finally- a mum of 2 but it was painful to get there - interpret that as you will.

I just wanted to

  1. Reply
2. Give you a big cuddle.

40 (age) is not a right off.

Is there any way you can find someone to talk to? - the intensity of your post makes me just want to come over and hug you - but also I think intentionally or unintentionally you are putting yourself under huge pressure ...: please be kind to yourself and husband as well.

Flowers
CreekyBeaky · 06/02/2019 00:28

@Eminado

Thank you for replying. I don’t know who to talk to, I’m honestly out of people. I’m quite close to my MIL and SIL but talking about issues with their son/brother isn’t fair to them I don’t think. Other than that I can only think of a doctor but I don’t want to be sent away with a pack of antidepressants (or have anyone think I’m not capable or looking after DC1 because I’m unwell in some way).

Your post about 2 DC being painful getting there makes me even more anxious, I’m not sure I’ve got it in me to embark on a painful journey. It feels almost daft to be talking like this, I’m a 39 year old woman with a job, a home, a DH & a DC. I can’t explain how I’ve got to a place of such core unhappiness so fast.

OP posts:
Eminado · 06/02/2019 00:30

Please dont overthink things.

I will message you again when i wake up xx

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