Hi, I’ve been trying on and off to conceive through IVF for over 5 years. I had an ectopic pregnancy (naturally conceived) that ruptured back in 2013 and had emergency surgery to have it and my tube removed. Then further surgery for an ovarian cyst that was so large it had pulled my remaining tube away, the ovary was removed as well. 4 rounds of IVF (as it’s the only way I can conceive now) and got pregnant on the 4th go just over a year ago. Unfortunately the baby died in the second trimester and I was induced at hospital.
Over time things have got easier and I’ve managed to make lots of positive life changes, change my job and look after my body/mind a lot better. I’m a positive person and believe in silver linings, I wouldn’t have made a happier life if I hadn’t been through such bad days. But I’m wondering how those of you who have been through similar problems move forward with IVF and trying again. I hate the thought of going through any more pain, it scares me and I seriously consider whether I should stop. My life feels good without the sadness of infertility and IVF and I want to focus on the things that give me joy and fulfilment. I feel under pressure from my parents and OH’s parents as they are all dying for a grandchild but I don’t know if I can face more failure, loss and disappointment. I don’t talk to anyone about it because I don’t feel people get it unless they have been through it... people want to offer their advice or tell me stories about how I mustn’t give up because so and so gave up and then miraculously got pregnant (and other miracle anecdotes!)
I’m very lucky and have an amazing OH who is so supportive and caring. I have an appointment with the Gp next week to have some blood tests and if everything is okay I could do another round, but the thought of it makes me feel sick. If it’s not too hard to talk about, it would be helpful to hear about how you felt if you were in a similar situation, and how you dealt with closure if you never managed to have a baby in the end. Sorry this is a sensitive subject and for the long post.