New mum struggling with on-demand feeding

[kirstywursty012]

Hi everyone - hope someone is around to read this.

We’re Day 4 into parenthood with our DD who was born via c-section after a long and failed induction.

We’re FF and things have been going really smoothly during the day. At night for the Past 2 days however she absolutely guzzles the milk down which usually ends in projectile vomit. She’ll then suck on her hands and make a fuss until we feed her again. She’ll then be sick later in the night and the cycle continues.

Should we be taking her lead on feeding and just assume the vomiting is occasional? Does this sound like reflux? My DH is really losing his patience and because of my csection recovery, I’m frustrated that I can’t do more like change her nappy and take some of the work. It’s really upsetting me because I don’t want him getting frustrated and negative towards her.

Many congrats on joining the Mum club Men! Tell your hubby I said.....For gods sake she is 4 days old give her a break you are doing nothing wrong she is just learning how to control the teat. My girl is 8 months old and she occasionally does this when she has her last feed and it ends up squirting all over her face and sometimes up her nose.....it's actually quit funny. Not sure about the reflux thing as my buba never had that problem. But when she was very little or when she has a cold i would give her little breaks. Every oz to start, wind her and make sure she isn't guzzling it too fast. Then as she eta older half way through the bottle. Don't panic it does get easier, and remember she is only tiny and has to learn these things from scratch.

It's only been two nights. Your OH will have to suck it up. He's a dad now.

However, you could try and help your DD, by letting her burp properly. Try to prop her up so that she's not horizontal (ideally 30o angle) and allow her to burp half way through.
It could be a case of trapped wind.

She may only be seeking comfort in the night, rather than food, so a dummy could help.

You can also find teats with a narrower hole to allow a slower feed and anti-wind bottles.

Or try a different formula.

Have a google about paced feeding - sounds as though she’s just taking more than she has room for (they’re not good at knowing when they’re full)

YourDH needs to sort his attitude too

Thankyou so much for your kind responses! I’ve finally got her down asleep after 3 hours and feel like a bit of a superwoman!

To be honest, I haven’t really been burping her at all. I’m not really sure how long I should be doing the patting for and what exactly I’m listening out for - is it like an obvious burp noise as we know it or a baby noise like a grizzle or cough?

Thanks again everyone - your messages were so comforting x

Omg I'm in the same boat..or a very similar one! DD born 6 days ago by c section, also after failed induction. She's great during day, feeding 2-3hrs and sleeping and where we put her down, midnight rolls.round wants to feed constantly but only for a few mins and only sleeps when held. I'm surviving on stash of digestive biscuits next to the bed!

Congratulations op. I’ve no experience of ff but burping I do know! After every feed keep her upright - either holding her body with one of your hands or propping her up against your shoulder and just gently rub and pat her back until you feel/hear the burp rise up. Be patient and if you can have her sleep on a slight incline, all the better. My Next2Me crib had a function where I could tilt the mattress a tiny bit and that allowed my super refluxy dd a much better sleep.

Be gentle with yourself after a cs...it takes weeks to recover. Your DH will find his stride, but he needs to give it time, and whilst you’re recovering and the baby is getting used to the world he needs to look after both of you.

Best of luck x

He's losing his patience after 4 days? FOUR DAYS? Sorry but I'm shocked by that. You could have months or even years of disrupted nights ahead of you. I really hope you don't but either way he's going to have to adjust his expectations. Show him almost any thread from the Sleep topic and hopefully he'll start to get his head around it.

OK, now for what's most important: the baby. Yes it could be reflux (I've had two of those), but equally it could just be the baby having not figured out yet what full feels like. With breastfeeding there's a natural break in the feed where you switch from one breast to the other, so I'd mimic that by stopping the feed halfway, taking a few minutes to hold the baby upright and burping/winding gently, and then carrying on.

hi bless you. My baby is nearly 8 weeks old via cs. I am bf so don't know much about ff but for bf we also have to rub back. I sometimes do this by sitting baby on lap or putting baby head against my shoulder and rubbing that way. It is def a burp can be more than 1, so you will know it when they do. I sometimes can feel it in banys back like raised bubble which comes up when winding. Sometimes wind can cause baby anxiety and restlessness. You will notice the different types of cries which mw told me. I thought crying was just crying and all the same lol.
Also baby's have growth spurts and you have cluster feeding which I only found out at the hospital. . one night when I was up continuously for 5 hours feeding and wondering what I was doing wrong. Why baby kept wanting more and would not sleep. Try the winding.
Your dh sounds like he may just be worried whether baby is getting enough milk or not. Baby is still getting into routine as are you two, don't be hard on yourselves. Hardest job in the world being a parent but most rewarding too.
My sis did ff and I know she had to change the milk brand as it didnt agree with baby, after which baby was fine. Another pp has mentioned tilting the cot slightly if possible, that helps too.
For future ref if you ever have nights where baby is crying and not settling you may want to try white noise on utube. It helps my baby calm down. . . in fact baby was aslp a while with the white noise and so I picked up my mobile to read mumsnet and whilst Im typing baby woke up and looking at me like. . well if youre not putting white noise on then u will have to hold me lol. Best of luck with baby and also with your cs recovery x
sorry for ramble, dont think ive helped with your ff q sorry.

omg sorry for looooong ramble!

I forgot to add that newborn babies are well known to cluster feed at about 2 am.
It's a shock to our system, but perfectly normal for them.

The trick is to encourage more activity during the day and to keep it low key at night. Feed in the dark, no stimulation.

I'd really recommend getting or reading a good parenting book (try to avoid fashionable baby gurus ) so that you know what to expect and have options to try and solve issues.

Newborns stomachs are absolutely tiny. How much is she taking in one go? You could be over feeding her if she’s ‘guzzling’ down milk hence why it’s all reappearing!

What type of teats are you using?

And yes, yes, yes to winding.

And your DH needs a bloody word with himself, she’s 4 days old.