Thinking it will never happen....

[Marshmallow1992]

I’m due to ovulate in the next few days.
I have regular 29 day cycles, get EWCM, confirm ovulation by temping.
Been ttc #1 for 7 months and have never had a hint of a BFP.
I genuinely feel like I will never fall pregnant. My husband thinks there must be something wrong with us! I keep telling him it can take a while.... etc but that’s just me trying to sound hopeful. Inside I’m falling apart! Every month after ovulation I feel slightly positive then AF hits with a bang.
I just wanted to know if there was anyone else out there who felt so convinced it would never happen and got their happy ending?
I know 7 months isn’t a long time compared to some people - but it’s just how I feel right now (that it won’t ever happen). Why am I feeling this way!? Help please 😥😥

Ttc is a total minefield and it sucks. For me dd1 was easy, tracked for a while before hand and boom, lucky sod. This time, very different. Month 2, after a 3 month break, after 7 months last year of nothing. I needed to chill out and take a break from it for numerous reasons.
I've read that in the 6 days prior to ovulation, if you have sex on days 1, 2 & 3 you have a 20% chance, day 4 a 10% chance and day 5 & 6 a 5% chance.
Now you can only guess ovulation prior to it actually happening and when it happens you could be too late. There are so many factors involved and the percentages aren't that great. The egg is only there for 12-24 hrs before it gives up so that sperm has a big job to get to the entrance of your tube ready and waiting.
I half think that dhs sperm is the same as him so there's limited chance that they are organised enough to get to the right place the right time!
Try to avoid the symptom spotting before it destroys you. (easier said than done as I Google cervix position, clearly feeling it so assume af must be due not bfp)
I know people who have fallen fast and others have taken a long time. Once it happens theyve said that the journey it took to get there was dwarfed by what was to come.
Sending lots of luck!

@Chanel05 how you getting on during 2ww?

@Marshmallow1992 hi! No symptoms as per usual! Literally no clue when af is due either, anytime between Sunday and Wednesday 🙈. How’ve you been doing? Are you keeping calm or symptom spotting? Are you going to test?

@chanel05 no symptoms either except EWCM on 4dpo and 8dpo - no idea what that means never had it before. I think AF is due Mon/Tues. I don’t have any tests and not going to buy any. I really don’t feel it this month at all so preparing for BFN! Just really fed up as I keep thinking something must be wrong with me!

Have you booked a gp appt? I've got a friend whose been trying for a very long time but unsuccessfully. Although she's fit and healthy she's tiny, probably only just breaking even on calories consumed Vs activity, and she carriesmout intense farming/ horsey stuff. I wonder if her body is too physically stressed as it were to concieve if thats possible?! I also had a friend the total opposite and once a healthy weight was able to concieve. I'm not saying your reasons are linked to weight but without knowing anymore details could be a simple fix? I'm not TTC and have no kids, I may well soon be in a similar position so that's what id look at first if the shoe was on the other foot? No offense meant in any way btw X p.s. I'm crap at trying not to cause offence and talk shit regularly so sorry if this is the case here!😆

@Marshmallow1992 hopefully the ewcm is a good sign!! Fx for you. I’m really the same and assuming it will never happen. I feel hope all the way through fw then I assume nothing has happened afterwards!

@Goodynuf I can’t speak for marshmallow but I went to the doctors and the doctor thought I was being a bit rediculous and told me to come back after a year!

@goodynuf I definitely ovulate and I am a healthy weight so no issues there!
@chanel05 it was a bit weird as I’ve never had it before! So just need to wait and see I’m not holding out any hope but. Let me know how you get on! When are you going to test?

@Marshmallow1992 I don’t even think I can be bothered to test anyway. Seeing the stark blank test is feeling a bit too raw this time. I think I’ve lost any excitement in the tww and it’s been swallowed up by the last 7 cycles.

@Chanel05 I feel the exact same! It’s so disappointing isn’t it? I just expect BFN now. Can’t even imagine how I’d feel if I got BFP xx

@Marshmallow1992 I can’t even visualise it. That’s sad isn’t it? On the way home from work I passed by boots and went in to look for their 3for2. Almost got some more digital opks (yno for next time of course), frers and a digital test but thought what on Earth is the point in spending £20 on pregnancy tests when I’ve never even had a sniff of being pregnant!

So I caved and took a First Response this morning. I got some this morning when I was out and took it when I got home. As I took the test after two minutes there was a definite albeit faint line. My stomach flipped! I went to get my phone to take a picture and the line disappeared. I’ve never even had a hint of a BFP so I don’t have a clue what this means or if it is a faulty test?? Really confused right now. I have another one I’ll try tomorrow but so confused what it means. Seriously this ttc business is so tough isn’t it ☹️ How are you today @chanel05 ??

@Marshmallow1992 Can I just start by saying Thank you to you for writing this post because this is exactly how I'm feeling at the minute, I feel really down and upset one of my best friends is pregnant and she pretty much fell straight away, she just found out what she's having but keeping it a secret etc, I'm so happy for her but get so upset inside whenever she says she's having a scan or something because I just think why can't this be me, I feel like it's never going to happen I'm currently on month 5, not even a hint of BFP! I've done OPKS every month and all been positive DTD on all the right days and nothing! And I just feel like a piece of me shatters whenever someone I know announces there pregnant, am I bad friend for feeling so jealous of my friend? Feel like the first time I see her baby I might cry because I want it so bad! 😔

@MrsP4 it’s nice to hear we are not alone! It’s so upsetting isn’t it. I got married in the summer and saw on FB yesterday a girl I know and got married the week after me is now pregnant! It is just so difficult to keep positive and I literally don’t know what to do anymore as I’m just so sad about the whole thing. Can’t even imagine it ever happening to me. I hope we all get our BFPs soon xxx

I am in the exact same thing also got married and a girl that got married few weeks after me in pregnant and I just feel so upset! And feel like giving up! I really hope you get your BFP soon xx

@MrsP4 this is the thread of being in long term limbo! Sorry to see that you haven’t had your bfp yet.

@Marshmallow1992 that sounds really promising! Good luck for the test tomorrow! Fx the ewcm has been a good sign for you!! I’ve been having cramps and a little bit of brown mixed with usual cm so feel like af might be here tomorrow or Monday.

Thank you @Chanel05 Had a cry to DH before and he said he has been feeling the same and he's said he's going to go and get a sperm analysts done but to see how things are it's easier for men there's only one thing to check unlike us women! FX for you @Marshmallow1992 sounds promising! Xx

@MrsP4 it’s harder for women I think because we’re the ones in the body and there’s no escape from it!

Did you test today @Marshmallow1992?

Hi @Chanel05 yes I had another first response and another line appeared! It was there this time for about five minutes and disappeared again! Never ever had anything like this it’s always just a complete white negative no hint of a line! I’m just so puzzled why it’s disappearing. I’ve googled and it’s mixed results. Lots of woman get BFP after it saying their hormones aren’t strong enough yet! Some say that it’s just a faulty test but two faulty tests! I’m not sure. AF is due tomorrow! If it doesn’t come I’ll get a digital on the way home from work. If I’m not then I’ll be devastated after all this - I said I wasn’t going to get my hopes up this month 😂 tbh I’m completely past getting my hopes up but this situation has def giving me something to think about as nothing like this has ever happened 😭 how are you today when are you going to test?

@Marshmallow1992 you must be pregnant surely?! They say there’s no such thing as a false positive!! Were they both from the same box? I really hope this is your cycle!!

I’m not going to test I’ve decided I’m just going to stay in denial 😂. A tiny bit of spotting yesterday and nothing since but due af tomorrow or Tuesday so I’m sure she will rear her ugly head soon!

@chanel05 it’s the fact it’s disappearing is making me think it’s not 😭. So heartbreaking! Yes both from the same box! I’ve emailed first response to ask what it means so I’ll update on here what they say as I’m so intruiged!

@chanel05 has AF appeared? Well ladies I took a digital today and got not pregnant but I also took a sensitive Lloyd’s chemist own brand! I got this - what do you think? Can see it a lot more in real life..... I’m so puzzled as I’m 13dpo today and IF it is a BFP should it not be a lot darker? Still not convinced though.... just wish I knew either way as I’ve never had a hint of a line on any test.

@Marshmallow1992 I think I can see a faint line! Do another digital the day af is due?

@Marshmallow1992 sorry just reread your message above I take it af hasn’t arrived then today?

I’ve had a little bit of light blood today so I guess that makes me cd1 of cycle 8 😔

I can see a faint line, fingers crossed you get a more definite result in a couple of days.

No it hasn’t arrived! Not even a spot. Thanks for your messages ladies. I’m just worried as it should definitely be darker than that being 13dpo especially on a sensitive test. I have another test I’ll use tomorrow. Good luck for next cycle @chanel05 I think I’ll be on another cycle too as can’t see this leading to anything 😭.