Does anyone else feel like this?

[ShortandSweet96]

We're currently TTC, nothing yet, I start another TWW today.

I feel so ready and excites to have children, I'm very maternal, I know it will be different with my own and more tiring and less 'fun' as per se, or so what everyone tells me, but I love children, I love helping my brother and SIL out with my niece, I love being able to spoil and play with my friends children. Everyone tells me how much of a good mum I'd be.

But...

I have a horrible but feeling it will never happen for me. I feel like I definitely won't get my BFP this month, and not at all. I just can't see pregnancy or kids in my future and it's making me feel sick and worried.

We've onky been TTC since around September, and I know you can't have any test done until you've been trying for 12 months, but I just have a gut feeling something is wrong or something will go wrong and I will never have children of my own.

Did anyone, or does anyone else feel like this? Is it just because waiting is so difficult?!

Counting down the days until I can test because I'm excited although I feel like I'm not allowed to be excited because I'm going to be disappointed

@ShortandSweet96 I know exactly where you are coming from! I’ve been ttc since June and it feels like it will never happen but remember it’s perfectly normal for it to take up to a year and statistically, you’re more likely to conceive after 6 months of trying. It’s so hard not to flap but flapping sends out the wrong hormones into your body which will not aid conception.

Enjoy the excitement anyway, you’re not out until af shows! You can always pay for private testing if that is financially viable to you.

@ShortandSweet96 my position is quite different but before I had my DS and for years... way before I was married or even with my husband I had this niggle that I would not be able to have kids. It was based on nothing just a weird feeling. I told my husband (then boyfriend) to prepare him just incase we couldn't and he was all supportive (although in hindsight he probably thought I was worrying over nothing so said it to make me feel better). So we got married and started trying straight away just in case it took years.... it took 2 months. I was super lucky. I am now TTC #2 never though there would be an issue cos of how quick it happened with #1, I got pregnant straight away but MC in April last year and another MC in November last year. TTC for a year now in total. So my point is, these niggles are just fears. Before I fell pregnant With DS i decided to see a gynaecologist and she checked me out and said I was all good which made me feel better and maybe gave me the PMA (positive mental attitude) I needed for it to happen so try to stay positive and have fun - keeping making other plans not always revolving around the future family and it will happen.

The TTC journey is different for all but chances are we will get to the destination.

I sometimes feel like this - could it be a bit of self preservation? A child is something you would dearly love, but is somewhat out of your control to make happen, so you tell yourself 'ah well, I know there's something wrong, I know it won't happen' so it hurts a bit less?
I may be wildly projecting, but i think that's where it stems from for me.

I feel like this! I’m glad it’s not just me. I was extremely lucky and conceived first time with my first, however been trying for ages to conceive number 2 and feel it just won’t happen and panick I won’t be able to have another one and left it too late to have kids. I’m 34. I think it does play in your mind. I’m going to try and be positive though and believe it will happen one day

I'm sorry everyone feels like this in some way or another. But I'm also glad I'm not alone! I thought maybe if I have a gut instinct I can't have them then my body is telling me something is wrong. But now it seems like it's just the suspense of ttc is testing my mind! Xx